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Vanessa Jan 2016
My thoughts are everywhere
I can't think straight
I can't calm them down
I can't be okay
I'm depressed
I'm not enough
I can't sleep
I'm wide awake for
Days, weeks, months
One person is not a remedy
For me it's a disaster.
You let a person in and they use you
They humiliate you
And you're left victim
No matter how much you tell yourself
You aren't a victim you are
A victim of this life
Of this system
Who's to say when he shuts his phone off
It's not to hide things?
Who's to say he has anything to hide at all?
But the constant anxiety that he will be the death of me hurts
Love is happy it should be
And I love our love it makes me the happiest
But I can't help but feel like the odds are against me
I wish I had some kind of shield to save from the pain
I don't want to be hurt again
But I won't hurt again either
Dear god let me find peace
I'm not crazy just ******* shattered
Not even a poem

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