anxiety;
just like millions of ants
biting your heart
the mini heartaches,
the scratchy feeling you get.

unbearable yet you can't escape,
the sudden heart attack, anxiety.

I dig, deeper and deeper, as my heart twists and wrench. "Breathe," I told myself, but my mind's in a swirl and suddenly, I have lost all my senses. "No, just no! I need to feel, I need to love!" I cried out, in a plea, desperation strangling my voice. I choked on my spit and coughed violently, forcing it out of my oesophagus and into the sink. My face flushed, all red from brawling and coughing. Blood rushed to my head and dizziness struck me like a bullet, causing me to collapse to the floor. "Why, tell me why. Why am I just simply not good enough?" I sobbed as I crouched into a corner, wrapping my arms around my knees. I felt like a helpless newborn, unable to fend for myself. Life felt so brittle, so fragile, with a tip of a finger, it would simply smash into smithereens. "No, no, but I still love him, I love him, I love him." I whispered, softly for the angels to listen, as I fell temporarily under cover, safe from all those demons, till I open my eyes again.

the stars and the moons
the sun and the clouds;
maybe between the days and the nights
lies a parallel universe
where the lines are broken.
however I wish
that hopefully one day
you will be able to travel
into this universe with me.
and we will, be free and lost
in our own world.

our first love.
something that was passionate,
a time when we all tripped
and fell into a deep abyss
unknowing the rest
but expecting the most.

have you ever wondered, sometimes,
why things just turn into ashes.
memories that are grinder, burnt;
into fine black powder
and with a gust of wind,
it flies away with you knowing.
until its too late to even realize,
that those memories are not there anymore.
and perhaps this whole thing
is nothing but only a delusion

it wasn't there in the first place
and that was never meant to be.

your voice is:
my melody, the best comfort when I'm down

Without it, misery kicks in.
Not hearing your voice makes me miss you so much.
I miss you in my life, can you talk to me again?