The shattered pieces of glass on the floor remind me of what you did to my heart, they remind me of the pain but they also remind that somewhere between being broken over you my gut began to grow back together in the midst of missing you because you had done your damage however one day I met a boy who kissed like he had a secret and he was very quick to remind me I was not less than you he was quick to remind me I was stronger than any war ever fought and he was quick to remind me I was more beautiful than I thought
He was quick to remind me velvet is a lot like skin and that it's okay to be afraid of the dark
Although I'm a master at being left he taught me that painful lesson too, just like you only a mire month later
*(vm)

(Disclaimer)
To The Boy With the Birthmark On His Right Lower Calf
( 9/18/09 - Forever Avenue )
You are a boy of a million different personalities one minute you love me more than anything the next you choose burned ashes over my last lit cigarette, you are the ocean beneath my feet you guide me to safer waters and make me believe in soulmates, i think that's what we were from the start, what we are, what we will always be. I will never love another boy like i do you. Five years has been but a pleasure, i could never truly walk away from you, you know that but i do take breaks from allowing you to make me cry because i don't want how much I love you to **** me I've heard it can happen so i guess in all respects this poem may not apply to you completely because you'll always be light in my life




This is my goodbye

To the Boy With the Cold Heart & the Four Glass Eyes
( 6/20/13 - 9/3/13 )
You are not made out of gold
You are rotten piles dirt
You were never one for intimate talks
In just 4 brutal encounters and 3 months of sweet nothing's you surely replaced you're sensitive skin for the persona of true devil in training
you sure were quick to remove cloth from skin
I should have figured it when I wanted to just lay and waste away or when I complained of being to tired to continue you'd say "you're being boring" as if the arousal was more exciting than being in nothingness together but maybe that's because you only loved my body however after you my body now disgusts me to look at, although I must say the scars are quite appealing , they haven't gone away.

To The Boy Who Made Me Feel Alive Again
( 12/6/13 - 12/27/13 )
You were true magic
A good listener from the start and quite polite when it came to the feel of velvet on velvet
You looked at me as I looked and the sky wondering how I even ended up here without being pronounced dead on arrival. That night in the dark with you was the night I released the last boy, the one just before you, from my ribcage for good and allowed you inside the darkest parts of me, thinking you would fix them or at least hoping you would, that made me feel somewhat okay, however when we reached my side of the street and our lips first collided I did not know it would be the first--and last time we would ever meet. Sometimes I thank God for meeting you even if you did leave like the rest
You made me feel alive for a good few weeks until you proved my theory of lovers wrong and calmly walked away, I like to think you'd come back if given the chance but maybe you're better off
I guess I'll never know

So to the both of you I have but one thing to say-- this is my goodbye

*(vm)

9/18/09

The Boy With the Birthmark on His Right Lower Calf

1/7/10 8:36 pm
The first boy that left me was my first love, he was the first boy who ever called me beautiful and he made me feel that way for about 3 and a half months until the distance became to much to bare, but we kept in touch for about 5 years so I guess you can say it never really ended because the pull of our hearts still happen to burn for each other every now and again, he is one for the books because he's never walked away from me he's stood by me through countless arguments, but I think we will always be connected. He taught me what it's like to fall in love unfortunately he didn't teach me how to stop falling face first onto cold hard gravel because now that he has someone new, I'm completely off the rails. I hope he comes back and saves me soon. He is the only boy I can't ever seem to get enough of, he is like a drug, the minute he touches me my veins fill with a substance of desire and my heart speeds up to about ten beats a minute and all this proceeds to happen within mire seconds of reconnecting I can't even begin to describe how it's been these past 5 years still being able to get that same rush around that boy--and only that boy. He is a drug I would gladly overdose on.

6/20/13

The Boy With the Cold Heart & the Four Glass Eyes

9/3/13 10:45 pm
The second boy that left me was no where near as beautiful as the first but he was one for deep talks and insecure walks. He told me what he hated about himself and how self-conscious he really was, that before he became "Mr. Player" he was a loser who always felt alone. His body was not beautiful he was destruction at its finest, his skin stretched and felt like scratching cold silver, in all respects he was quite a disgusting filth though at the time I found him to be made out of gold but I was dead wrong for he was the worse kind of killer-- a true sociopath if you ask me but I mean what do I know I'm a ****** right? Although the only thing he wanted was to toy with me and trick me into trusting the devil, granted I should have never gotten involved with him in the first place, because he truly tore me to shreds and he was still a baby so maybe that's why things ended badly between us, because even though I was naive then, he's still quite immature, I wish I could say he's changed but he hasn't.

12/6/13

The Boy Who Made Me Feel Alive Again

12/27/13 1:08 pm
The third boy that left me, well unlike the second boy he didn't do damage he actually did magic by gently outlining the curvature of my spine and liking the thoughts inside my head before we ever even came face to face, he knew me through words and kissed me like he held a secret between his lips. He didn't like books but he liked my thoughts on paper and he listened quite intently, so I guess that was enough. I noted little details when we walked home in the dark, like the fact that he lit up whenever I spoke and he always looked me dead in the eye, however neither of us had been murdered. Or the way he sounded when he told me about his life, or even the fact that he'd risk injury from oncoming traffic because of his fearless physique, maybe he was just trying to impress me but these are a few things that were beautiful  about this boy. But yet again, happiness in the form of Father Time only stands at my doorstep for a month or so because on the 27th on the coldest month of the year he walked out without even a proper goodbye.

*(vm)