We are not asked to be born
then we are thrown into a world
that takes you years to comprehend
or to truly just observe

No one really teaches us how to live
or what the purpose really is
or how to reach the things that we deserve

And if that is not enough
the fear of death
consumes us all
Our only hope is that in afterlife
a spot somewhere for us is on reserve

I feel sad again. Just because I am convinced that the love I have been looking for does not exist. People may love you with all they have, just not the way you want. I’ve never in my life, met a person that asked me questions about myself. Except one. But he’s dead anyway. When you tell a story, people ask questions if they are interested in what you have to say. I always ask details and questions because I am curious about the experience that person had when they were in the situation. It could be meaningless, or just a simply story. But I still want to know, because I care. Because when I listen, I really listen. I digest every single word into my brain as if I have to remember due to a quiz the following day. But, I listen to what I want to listen. If I am not intrigued, its like you are not even there. I have something better to think about as you ramble on about something that is not going to help me obtain information about yourself. I want to know everything about you. So I could really love you for you.

I hope someday someone feels that way about me too.

I have vivid dreams
of the moment when we meet again
it just seems
like a distant future then

But when I find you once more
I swear it'll be perfect
Not like ever before.
It'll be like we never even met
I'll be right for you and you right for me

It seems like far away,
but I swear I'll find you someday

one thing I've learned
is not to settle for a false love you yearn.
You won't meet a prince,
just someone who pretends for a while,
you'll think it is all that you've dreamed of
But then that dream becomes dark
And it'll spin out of control
Your emotions will pour out
and might crumble your soul


but one thing i've learned
is not to settle for a false love you yearn

a rare soul
that will awaken mine from its deep sadness,
a soul that will refresh my life into a world of color,
a soul that will unconditionally love me
and travel miles just to hold me.
My soul will find yours someday
because that's the kind of soul I deserve to be loved by

I can’t really help the fact that I am in love with so many different people.
Each individual offers me an emotion that is so genuinely pure, new, and beautiful that I cannot find the words to express such a transcending feeling. There are specific people that bring out subconscious sides of me. Some make me feel so serene and calm, and others bring out darker sides of myself. I am in love with those who have let my soul lightly touch theirs, even in the simplest form of just having something in common.  These people are my butterflies because somehow they have changed me.