Hi you say
I wish I were
The stuff of dreams or so it seems is a world of wonder if it's time to seek
What a glorious day for happy toes at play on Pismo Beach
It's a bright morning
Of another shining day
A blessing it is that Life holds sway
With a brilliant glow and van-tastic sight
All made possible by those billowing winds, huffing and puffing last night
A nice position that ensures no concern with people who flop
Is experiencing the casual ebb and flow of ultra green tree tops
Hank and Frankie had their usual convention and loud beak fights
And then dived off the balcony railing versus soaring in flight
In addition to tossing my mollusk shells for no valid reason
So I threatened them both with a flame thrower later this season
The ***** are polished with a Biore Charcoal Scrub sheen
Which helps me enjoy the neater environment that someone else just cleaned
Yet,
One never knows how that day or this will be framed
Yesterday, making miso soup, my right front stove burner burst into flames
In the ensuing panic with many motions that were manic
It was way too scary with fire alarm screaming something about a wire
Luckily, I remembered my fire safety training re how to put out a grease fire
I was cooking miso soup
How did that cause a combustible grease loop ?
All made stranger by the proverbial question of why
It's been weeks since I used the stove to fry
It just goes to show
Between the bed and the door
Near the thin edge of a sheet of paper things can turn to crapping
On any given day - at any given time - anything can happen

I am patient she said
Excellent ~ I am trying to learn that trait ~ he said
I don’t need much she sighed
I don’t have much he replied
No need for the cover of a starry night
Right now ~ late morning ~ seemed just about right

A conjoined twin run thru a warm sensitive shower
Was only 7.25 minutes yet seemed like an hour
Let me dry you she said
That would be nice he said

Start with a soft touch she requested
Tender forehead kisses he behested
Soft ocean music floated sweetly around
In position, they rolled and rollicked
****** and frolicked
As if enjoying an overgrown wheat grass meadow ~ thumping the ground

Passion flowed in a steady stream
Loud and heated they both screamed
I need you she said
I luv you he said
There is one thing left he said
My intense lover ~ you broke the bed

During the anticipation and transitioning of a beautiful morning sunrise sky
Five minutes of mindfulness and quiet breathing gives me a reason to fawn
There is a magic-ness waiting and watching for dawn
There is internal balking at impending healthy walking
My attention switches
I seem concerned about a proper Thai lunch venue
And whether luv is on the menu
An afternoon nap is refreshing for an old sap
A pink blue sunset quietly paints the evening sky
Such a wonderful feast for tired, sore eyes
I spend dark night hours interweb surfing, online backgammon, watching some Masterpiece views of a dead monarch’s family fight
Hoping and praying for a continuous sleep filled night

This all happens over the course of a day

Franzie, the monkey in the tree
Can’t see me
But then again, he’s not looking

Unnamed and uncounted millions of bees
traveling in a big dark cloud
Are buzzing too loud
I would tell them but they are not listening

Henry, the biggest pig in the pen
Is laughing and joking with his friends
Waiting to be fed

Tex the dog sitting on the log
Is barking at a frog
The frog barks back

A random bird is skirting on the breeze
But the second mouse gets the cheese
There’s a lesson in that

Yodel, my owl’s mood is foul
One of many reasons for his scowl
The late night flight was tiring

Vaca, my cow is studying a new method for chewing cud
He is not in a hurry  - his life is good
Plus the pasture is verdant green and full

The rhyme in me mind goes on and on
The light in me window says here comes dawn
Tired over and hung out
Here comes sleep

When I have to cry
I cry in the shower
The water is already running
So the tears do not taste as sour
**** those memory triggers that were set
In a line of yesterdays that are even now, still wet

Breathing lives have been snatched right out of my arms
Twice I have been left holding nothing
Those vapid claims of having loved and lost
Are not worth the useless fabric decorating the funeral bunting
The thief of air has vanquished me to a life alone
Some days I feel I can’t wait to move on

When I have to cry
I prefer the daylight hours
While draining the overused tear ducts
I imagine watering imaginary flowers
It does not take much to start this frenzy
A word or thought is enough to start a tizzy

This exercise is more than enough
To start the pain running and speeding
If You have experienced a patch as rough
The Writer thanks You for taking the time
And doing the reading

One day – this day
I watched the weather quickly turn
While futzing around and watering my fern
I no longer care what the day is called
Yet I can feel the chill and know it is Fall
The calendar sez find peace then write
The monkey mind fights back - feeling contrite

One day – today
I ditch the coffee and down some tea
The most probable effort from yesterday’s
to do list is item #3
Fix the bay window on the north side
And stop the draft
It’s a good time to test if I have
a handle on the mason’s craft

Today – this way
I could choose to think / write about
love won, love lost and love true
I could practice Bach to sharpen my mind
and give my fingers something to do
Some time will be spent in mindfulness
And some time will be enjoyed in playfulness

One day – this day
Everything will be a snap
No amping up or bugging out crap
Thru dimensional ethers and quantum time across the miles
I am sending You a huge, goofy but loving smile

returning from a social meeting
lightly stepping on a deserted street
there is no streetlight to guide my feet

though bundled up tight for a cold night
my face feels the crispy wind is making the skin flake
as an intense blowing shear takes a bite
wasn't this the short cut i used to take
i tell myself there is nothing to fear
but my monkey mind is pumping hard
asking how i got here

a winged shadow appeared when i stopped
i nearly peed my pants doing a side step dance
but reason held out as it was just a concrete molding
in the moon's trance
from a building on the right - up top

i hear a single, solitary, solo drum in the distance
maybe someone to help identify my last mindless turn
lightly stepping on this deserted street
attention is paid to the increasing beat
is the brain asking for faster feet
then when i focus
it's my own **** heartbeat
i tell myself there is nothing to fear
but my monkey mind is amping and freaking
asking how i got here

a dislogded, free minded, loudly rolling can
rattled my lunch
breathe breathe breathe
follow that black and grey two toned cat
surely it has a hunch

three echoing shots
followed by a gut level scream
now i am completely locked in
is this a dream

to reconnect and find my way home
i vow to never ever again
forget my phone

it seems much colder
as i turn another corner
following the sounds of the sirens
i tell myself there is nothing to fear
but my monkey mind is hurting now
asking where are these environs

blood was everywhere
the street, the windows, the walls
first responders were in slow motion
but at least they answered the call
i tell myself there is nothing to fear
but my monkey mind is out of control
asking how i got here

Today

Let’s see now
Have all the boxes been unpacked and everything stored away ?
Is everything in its rightful place ?
Have You fingered out the best routes to take to handle Your biz
And get around all the tour buses in Your way ?
When You do not wish to cook
Have You identified the best priced, most convenient buffet ?

Have You had the time to meet at least one neighbor ?
Have You decided when You will use Your multiple skill set and continue to share the deep uniqueness of Your labors ?

You am so lucky to have a partner in Your life
Say ‘ Hi ’ to Mister – from vY

Please continue to pray for Me and with Me
I have asked the Lord God for a sign
The answer may be more for You
The next time You waltz thru a casino
Put a quarter on the roulette wheel – number 29

Have You set up a new interweb handle
With a new address and new name ?
Though communication is still possible thru the miles
Neither Burbank nor I will ever be the same

And now for Page 2 and a bit more ado

Yes, I know we did not ‘ hang out ’ so to speak
But You were and are instrumental in the life of an intractable old man like Me
I often sit lost in dreaming on the third floor of this building with a great southern view
While You are not really gone and un-contactable, I miss You

The beautiful nostalgic collectible items brought a watery surprise to My tired eyes
I luv it            I luv it              I luv it
My weary heart thanks You mucho for the box You sent
After a small stack of tissues, I was emotionally spent

If You only knew how much You have touched this old fool
You are a true gem – with a platinum heart awash in jewels
Someday, when My quality of life is a bit more exquisite
Don’t be surprised when I come to visit

May the Peace of the Creator keep You smiling, healthy, happy, sassy, saucy and keep eternal oil in Your torch
I feel certain You will remain an energized bunny
With no time for a granny rocker on the porch

If nothing else moves Your heart and mind
MY fervent hope is in these helter skelter musings You find
The thing that brings from Me to You and back again with loving kindness across the miles
The tender mercy of a heartfelt smile ~

Does the moon mourn
After the current day dawns
Exposing the deepness of a blue soaring sky
Causing quasi questions in the form of the wayward why

Why such a mysterious bulbous blue
Why such a deep hallowing hue
Does the moon mourn
When the sun starts to spawn

Some Thursday morning eyeing a ready race
The mirror shows the usual and customary feckless face
A mindless ritual often fills the busy area around the table top
Between texting nothing and following other conspicuous consumption reaching a full stable stop

And how does this apply to the magic moon
Which is not cheese so no need a stupendous sized spoon
Some of us wonder re alimentary alienation
While sitting and twitting about the companion moon’s satellite station

Does the moon mourn
As stars start to fawn
Matching a moment of a somnambulistic state
Allowing its’ gravity to push and pull the flow of water from a timeless surreal place in space

Does the moon mourn
As each new day dawns

When I died
No one cried
A few sensitive souls surely tried
But never showed their shallow fallow feelings from
the visceral side

The Rent-A-Rev Chuck did his job
Even though he had no idea who I was
He delivered the obit with adequate wit
Which was worth half a bucket of warm spit
The printed program carried only one of my semi suspect
social grass roots cause

I was not a bad man
Never a sad man
Super lucky by comparison said
A smart *** brain in a medium sized head

Generous though
With a slightly bent bellowing sick humorous flow
Just like butter meeting a warm knife
Unconditional Love presented itself and was enjoyed
three or four times in my life
Yet no one was left to give a good *******
Not that it mattered for just another man

All known relations had gone before
Now the end of a short line in time
Had breathed the last reasonably fast
And took the long slow brightly lit walk toward
North Shore

When I died
No one cried

To wherever you go
Get ready good folk
It will be nice
The ride of your life
Ensure the Luv and the Work are both steady

To wherever you go : take note
Have the imperative ~ a standing invitation
To let everyone know
Make it a dog and pony show
A big fuss over a lifetime, corner booth reservation
Welcome them. Let them stop and dine
Then listen as they spin adventure stories and spend some time

To wherever you go : be aware
The first to appear all over the place
Is the dashingly refined intertwined pair
Enter ~ Style & Grace
Light it up for the other well-heeled oggling and goggling eyes
The entourage will be a reasonable size

To wherever you go : head’s up
This note is to suggest preparing to receive
It will happen fast so be alert ~ on the ‘ qui vive ’
Effort to feel their pain
If they get lost in driving rain
While a heavy foot forces the edge in their new hot rod two seater
Save a sniffer of brandy or a spot of sherry
If a chilly day, save a close comfortable place by the heater

To wherever you go
Generally writing as opposed to speaking
The tail of this tale is amping and peaking
The reason I was told
Of why they were so cold
Is what you’d expect from a couple of flop ups
The **** fools will be driving without the top up

That can’t be
And You still like me
Short second elongated hour
Gone too soon heat drenched flower

Me ?
Not much of a gardener
Thee ?
A reason to love hardener

As I live and I breathe
I embrace You more with ease
So
It can’t be
And You like me

The voice, a touch, even just a fleeting thought
Is working me over way more than I should have bought
I inject joy into the air
Inviting to two entangled lives
Over here over there over here over there

As a Beethoven piece – simple and complex
We have no harbinger of what comes next
It just can’t be
And You still like me

A Rabbi, Priest and an Imam walked into a bar

The bartender said ' what is this - a joke '?

Once again
the smiling bearded man
thinks He is offending Me with His impertinence

Apparently unaware
with His cloistered flair
that He may have to return to Me for more info later
despite His verbal flatulence

Work for free
is all He can see
despite His being blessed exceedingly

One can only hope
this is a mental skill He uses to cope
That He reports compliance as suggested
and treats the intended subject decently

Don't do this to My kid
there is no valid reason for You to skid
You certainly have the dollars

Keep performance Art flowing
Keep this young woman knowing
It should not cost Her to keep Your soul hollering

I have faith
and will pray as I wait
that logic and sanity will follow

If I have to pay Her
since I was nipped to refer Her
that future acts will not ring pitifully hollow

Think when You shirk
You were paid for Your work
and resorted to eye rolling, neck twisting, finger snapping
macho nacho attitude if the check was late

I point out no more no less
when You experience Alisha's word fest
that You acknowledge the young woman is great

And deserves more than a thimble full of
demonstrated r-e-s-p-e-c-t

A hell of a tale in a bit of a shell
With an idea quite fertile
Head in hand – sink or stand
Exactly where is your turtle ?

This is not the type of subject this writer usually notes
A few more misfires and start overs and this paper may be best fed to goats

Every human has a touch, a button, a squish
A nicky, sticky, wicket like shaking hands with a wet fish

Someone is in their sensual state
With wanton waves they view on the interweb shell
No one tells all of their trailing tales in their private time bouncing in and out of the id / ego hell

Stick your hand out
Stick your neck out
Stick your head out
Stick your heart out

? Is your shell a relaxing colorful chameleon style ?
? Is it a *****, filthy comedian’s smile ?
? Do you advance, retreat, silently twist ?
Breathe, bellow, *****, bombast, prepare for battle and put up both your fists ?

? Where is your turtle ?
Perchance your id is resting and watching behind a furtive boulder
Perhaps your ego is well balanced with a chip on both shoulders

I know someone with an ostrich stitch
Pure unconditional LOVE is staring them eyeball to face
Yet, at a hurried and pointed pace
This person is face planting in an upside down position into a broad road ditch

? Where is your turtle ?

How many times do we say and do things that we do not really mean to say and do ?

A poke, a cerebral nudge, something to get attention and evoke a response from beneath the veil to the farthest deepest darkest sky’s bluest hue

Methinks it starts very early in Life - in some type of observation mode
A view of interactions factions and ego-id tractions experienced once the mouth has spoken and the river of effect has flowed

The thought was being cute with a turn of a phrase flipped over and bounded
It takes a quick wit to send and a quicker wit to receive the intended double entendre

But shock there can be and shock there is
Communication of a thought to generate a smile often takes a big hit
Is there really wisdom in seeing multiple years ?
Does something vague and leathery to the heart know and tell us when to quit ?

Encounter Engage Expand
Surround Life with a warm out-flowing rainbow thought of walking somewhere that you feel the earth between Your toes
Think about nothing for as long as You can
Put the past in its proper space
Breathe in the current moment with a smile on our face

Remove second thoughts about what could have been
Release any interaction errors and turn Your back to the wind
Remain as relentless as the march of time in situ
Smile for the now knowing we have passed the shock value
vY

today I took a walk around the block
having no real reason just taking stock
i was able to get an up close and personal stare
while using a walking meditation to take in more air
there was new growth, birds talking, stalwarts that were hardened
roses and weeds making a comeback as if they had been pardoned
fences, neighbors, dogs, alleys, early morning breakfast smells
bacon, chops, sausage, eggs, onion for sure, and other worlds gently meld
trees breathing in abundance, rocks holding down the corner
cerulean blue and spotty cotton puff clouds gave just enough cover
one step led to another
every encounter invited me further
my opening plan was a refreshing walk
it was that and more
including a nature talk ~

FEEL
Life is supposed to be great just to feel
The cuts and slashes as time passes are real
The emotional pain of loss cuts the deepest
Death should not be proud
Death should die in a disappearing shroud
Selfish it is to rip out a heart in a nano moment of breath
Whatever this is, is complicated by Time’s aging stealth
A way to recover would be a nice part added to Life’s design
It’s hard enough finding sketchy, fleeting Peace in the daily grind
One reset per Lifetime can be part of the bargain
Had I been at Creation this is where I would start arguing
Please, no ‘ one more loss, this time around, with gusto ’
Perfect Health, Perfect Life should not be interloped by an invisible klepto
Finding the strength for the day to day cope
Is lost in the search for sinewy sustaining Hope
Putting these words on paper wrings out the salty tears of the Soul when the writing is set
Advising :
It’s time to stop writing when the paper gets wet

Again I saw the Sun come up this morning again
In Joy, the promise of another chance to get it right brought some Peace to enjoy
A plan of action and goals takes shape in writing down a plan
I said to self - Self, embrace today in a happy smiling way I said
I see some hope in a refined scope of what I do and what I see
All the choices of trending voices create a background backdrop to mitigate all the choices
A single wish fulfilled could seal the deal of the opportunity to make a single wish
What do I know about where to go to squeeze and release the handle for what do I know
Writing this exercise with free form fingers and blazed eyes require an open Spirit for writing this
Euterpe the Muse has a sense of humor and starts Her own laughing rumors about Euterpe the Muse

Words of condolence are often the only expressions that ring true
Every living being has felt a loss
From a leaf released from a branch of a plant or a tree
To the grey and white feather the soaring bird drops
To the vapor of a loved one into Spirit's cerulean blue

There is so much about love and life that gravity does not allow us to understand
Loved ones who share life and blood never leave us
They continue to live in the center of our heart
And always gently hold our hand

The memories are solid and stoic across the years
Each day of the ray of the good and the less good are not just recorded BUT remembered in our tears

Like David - rant, rave, cry and be sad
Then rejoice and raise the praise for the special connection time You had

Thanks for the kind words
They were a soothing welcoming balm to be heard
Feb seems to have exposed some life schisms
I was so distraught I checked My biorhythms
Everything in front of My eyes is soured and scrawny
I resorted to ' Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani '
So much of My life is stirred and shaken
I often feel forsaken
How much do I have to endure ?
Is mindfulness the ultimate cure ?
My car was stolen and trashed
I now learn Spanish on the bus while being thrashed
My medical state reveals the industry scam
I don't have big enough male ***** for the mammogram
Rule one thing in and rule another thing one out
I only wanted a cyst cut out
New left shoulder arthritis and old left sided neck pain
Bed Bath and Beyond's pillow department made that financial gain
Please keep Me in Your prayers as I effort to rewind Me
Pushing the negative away with ' satan, get thee behind Me ~

Who drinks freezing cold flavored ***** before 9:00
o'clock in the morning ?
Anyone who feels the need to

Who fires up medicinal *** two hours before Noon ?
Anyone who wants to

Who spends the super part of their day efforting to
connect with the Creator ?
Anyone who has to

Who writes stream of consciousness as reality ?
Anyone who can

Who defines simile, onomatopoeia, metaphor, hyperbole,
rhetorical, literal, fanciful, fact, fiction, non fiction, alliteration, oxymoron, idiom, delusion, illusion, allusion, . . .

We all do ~

Thanks for the kind words
They were a soothing welcoming balm to be heard
Feb seems to have exposed some life schisms
I was so distraught I checked My biorhythms
Everything in front of My eyes is soured and scrawny
I resorted to ' Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani '
So much of My life is stirred and shaken
I often feel forsaken
How much do I have to endure ?
Is mindfulness the ultimate cure ?
My car was stolen and trashed
I now learn Spanish on the bus while being thrashed
My medical state reveals the industry scam
I don't have big enough male ***** for the mammogram
Rule one thing in and another thing out
I only wanted a cyst drained or cut out
New left shoulder arthritis and left sided neck pain
Bed Bath and Beyond's pillow department made that gain
Please keep Me in Your prayers as I effort to rewind Me
Pushing the bad away with ' satan, get thee behind Me ' ~

The grey car stopped fast
****** tracks on a wet street
One more life said “wow”

Saturday near noon
She delivered my bad drug
Tamales con hot

My neighbor is gay
Today I shook his right hand
Yikes, why am I scared?

My nerves are numb nil
I saw a heart in a jar
No beat, no beat, no

I was not there then
My Dad died all by himself
He was giant as man

Somewhere, sometime, I
Find myself lost in blue sky
Give, receive or try?

Our love is mad now
She knows I’m right one more time
How now, brown cow, how

Okay, 1 plus 1
Let’s say the count is for man
Time has it’s own plan

One year ago now
I met an angel on earth
She pulsed life not dearth

Baruch hashem is
God be blessed, a way to start
From mind to man, heart

It’s just a small rock
Picked up on some mindless step
For you, leave my shoe

There’s weight to what is
Not just what was and could be
Will there be more me?

My left eye covers left
My right foot backs up the flank
My mind is still blank

It should not hurt to
Be a child in this world
Happy is a right

What I do, you do
Where do you do what you do?
You do, I do too.

Seltzer at room temp
Anchovies on toast with cheese
Thin sliced tomato

Rub my leg with care
Squeeze my hand and squeeze again
Your soothing, smooth move

Oh yeah, I did it
And would do it again, now
Love, to you I bow

Look over to your right
Find your bliss, here comes the night
Set your mind, now fight

Pick up the pennies
They deserve a pocket too
Hey, no dollars, no cents (sense)

The law by a man
The system is someone’s plan
Use your mind to scan

Four minutes from today
The end, the close, on its way
Do, think, feel, love, say

Baby, baby, babe
What is it about those words?
Thank life for mother

Be there around nine
Commitment but in L A
A mere suggestion

I see you, I do
I saw your last stage show too
Now what do you do?

My love is the sun
Her form is other worldly
Her galaxy blooms

Show me your daydream
I am missing mine today
Let me share your love

Can this really be?
We are all organized light?
Then come love with me

Tonight, we’re going to look at the proton nucleus as represented in the nano biological table.  Or is that the chemical table or is it . . . ?

Give me a second here.  I can’t find my place . . .
I’m usually prepared, as you know, but, hold on . . .

Now, where are my glasses . . .

Let’s begin again

Once upon a time
Long, long, ago
I could stay harder longer
Run faster
Jump higher

I didn’t forget things as much

Once upon a time
Long, long, ago
In a place not far from here

I raised a family
I paid my taxes

I cared what you thought about me
I would fix my own car
Or at least try

I wore glasses that were just plain glass, you know,
Not prescriptions lens – because they looked good and I looked good in them

I used to run with some of the show biz crowds
And I used to keep up
I live in Los Angeles and
Took a 4 week cruise to learn Spanish
I could party for 3 days straight stopping periodically
To make a run for more brie, fruit and champagne

Once upon a time
Long, long, ago
I went to nudist colonies
For the health benefits
I would entertain groupies
when I went on tour

Don’t put idiotic ideas in the mind of an idiot

I get a turn of thought and a swift tongue from my cigar
The enjoyment conjured here dates from early man’s bar

I am sure it does offend.  I don’t like it my **** self
It’s best left, where it’s found.  In the store, on the shelf

BUT, There’s nothing like the taste of fine tobacco after a fine meal
Tartare by Vuitton, Gucci sushi, Tang’s Thai, Puck’s Duck, Rosco’s to go
The soothing, smooth smoke of a whirling, curling **** on my tongue is a sensory bud squeal and a major market deal
Dulan’s coolin’, Kizzy’s Dizzy, Yamashiro is a hero, Benihana take my momma

Ask a cigarette smoker to make a decision and stand
They choke on the backdraft like wet sand on the Venice Beach strand
The pipe smoker will take your thoughts into consideration
While he puffs in deep, determined drifts of mental *******

Choose the cigar smoker and get through it
Their prized words are:  Let’s do it !

On a quiet night when You have time
I wanna share something with You that’s been on My mind
Luv You up drip drip drop
Luv You up drip drip drop

After a relaxing rub to soothe Your day
I just can’t wait to hear You say
Luv Me up drip drip drop
Luv Me up drip drip drop

Everything that’s good to You
That’s what we’re gonna do
Luv You up drip drip drop
Luv You up drip drip drop

I feel the need to fly thru Your ticks of time
And melt / float into Your warm and fuzzy sublime
I feel the need to lick You from Your head to Your feet
After living love and feeling love and willing luv -
we will have to buy new sheets
Hold me tight
Hold me tight
Hold me tight deep inside - squeeze Me
Taste the flood of luv flowing free

A seven course dinner is not enough
You deserve a luv without the b. s. fluff
Luv You up drip drip drop
Luv You up drip drip drop

Your body’s screaming out My name
The Angels in Heaven will never be the same
Luv You up - Luv You up - Luv You up

You’re so sweet I just hafta - - - -
Let it explode like Mount Shasta - - - -
Let Me drink forever at Your loving cup - - - -
Let Me in, let Me in, wrap Me up - - - -

I may have looked away in a moment of weakness
The bells and whistles in that app caught My eye
Never ever will I trade the love I have with You
For some shizzle on My nizzle on the fly

I can’t wait to get back home tonight
I can’t wait to get back home
I can’t wait to get back home tonight

Last Sunday after church in the part where everybody hugs
Prophet Kayla got real close to walking a thin fine line
There was a time when I would be the big dog
But now Your Luv fits like a glove and makes My heart shine

I can’t wait to get back home tonight
I can’t wait to get back home
I can’t wait to get back home tonight

Census is taken to say who is what and who is where
Other side says this type of tagging by race, *** and locale is over
I think I get why the rub is set for the mirror’s glare
Points taken are bold when random logic runs for cover

Careless counts of dispossessed use a simple sample and a smatter
Don’t leave the car, drive thru and watch them scatter
Insulateds say amongst themselves ‘ it can’t be that bad ’
It is much worse than that.  It is sad

This did not start out to rant or rave
Thoughts of nothing are often the best to save
A small chip here, a small dab over there
Hope, stay woke, hold the holographic horizon
for the next flame that flares

Well, here it is
It’s nighttime again

It was a beautiful day in paradise
And it went way too fast
The air was nice, the breeze was soft
I hated to see this day past

My issue is not the flashing and showing
It is the speed of the coming and going

With the right power I would make the Sun go West to East
For the second time in its life it would obey Me
Joshua made the Sun stop, didn’t he ?

In My Solitude She sang as if She understood
And She knew the right tune
When I get started on Brother Sun
She will handle Sister Moon

The cool breeze of evening ease pushes gently
Against the tops of the straining trees
My heart stops as the remnants of sunlight drops
Behind the very last of red Spanish tiles that smile

It’s getting dark.  Here is the start of another night
In My druthers, there would be many more hours of marvelous light

Met, We have in dimensions beyond these three
In all Our exchanges, I can tell Your heart is free
Your feeling, Your wisdom, Your tender touches of thought
Will always be treasured whether We meet or nought
When least expected, nothing left to laugh at or say
YOU, My Friend For Life remembered My birthday
Once was enough.  I was truly stunned
That You so far away, with no investment, time or otherwise
Took the time to be gracious to Me and Your thoughtful act brought a smile to My eyes

Some day, somewhere, somehow, We may get skin to skin
If that happens, then for both of Us, new horizons begin
In My bereavement, I am in such a lost state
My finances, My nerves, My sleep,
My ***** clothes and You have to wait
If the meme was physical beauty,
I would crawl over cut glass to get to You
BUT A day without tears is the next item on My List To Do

I do have one sharp pin to push in to a deeper depth
Why would You add that last, leery, lunging line about wealth, Eh ?
Over X number of years,
We have talked in a comfortable, smooth, flow and ebb
Have I ever given the impression
I was drilling for $$$ on the interweb, Eh ?
Do You see Me as so shallow that I would court You or anyone else because they had means, Eh ?

The answer is ' no ' regarding means or I would not be sitting here po’, broke and overly distraught with a few pennies in My jeans



If You speak truth and that statement was just an aside
Keep Your money, remain alone and certainly nurture Your pride
While money can't buy Love and very often resents it
There is no reason for You to be alone because
Love can always be rented

The best true Love starts as We did - Friends - I will admit that
I will not promise You a golden roaring Lion and deliver a bane of a regular grey alley cat

Here is something You don't know about Me
that will remain true to the end
When I make a commitment, I am there thru thick and thin
all day, every day and never a slip

You could be the One, the Lover Of My Life.  Never refusing Me, never abusing Me, Never leaving Me alone
I am loaded with stories, some failures, some glories, and nothing else I own
As I look around the bend, in the near distance - the end, I am currently a heart broken Love due to loss
I could never hurt You with the wild, wretching, wicked emotional ride of You watching Me when I am ready to cross

IF Life sends Me another Love, Yes, You are right –
there is no judgment on My keyring
Greater than that - Number 1 in My book –
is Unconditional Love. That's what I bring

Built on the Angel wings of propriety,
the fantasy is always better than the reality

I, a purple plant decided to grow in these digs
Between the gorgeous, green, grass growth of sprigs
I don’t need a My name and I don’t really care
The need to live and sing out loud is in the air
The soil is right and there is Sun to spoil
So I decided to add My color palette which is purple royal
I hope You can see My tiny sprouting flowers
We bask and pray and sit silently for hours
It’s hot. It’s dry. Yet I can feel My place
In Praise there is beauty for this time and space
I am growing low and close to the ground
I give tiny crawling creatures a place to be found
Mornings are great and I look up to cerulean blue
My face gets washed with sweet sincere morning dew
Look at that Sun blaring and glaring with vitamin D
I invite You to Stop by, inspect My parts and enjoy Me
I am living proof of Love in purple rays
No past, no present, just more tomorrow days
I don’t complain, I don’t look back
Daily, Mother Earth provides whatever I lack
Wow, there is the rumble of a big, huge, gargantuan loud truck
And someone in this neighborhood has a quacking duck
Here comes Tex the Wonder Dog on his morning walk
I would like to say ‘ hello ’ but I can’t talk
So I send him good feelings and a light purple kiss
Then wait and relax for the next passerby. This is pure bliss
Hey birdie can You see Me from up there ?
Or are You too busy flapping Your wings to stay in the air
Thank You Source Energy for all You give Me
It is great growing, glowing, feeling and living free

I’m not the easiest person you could ever get to know
It’s hard for me to let my feeling show
Seriously rowing toward a lifetime shore
My Nadia accepted me as I am and unlocked that door
It would be nice to find another love for the rest of my life
But I don’t care. It may not happen. Nadia was the best of my life
Since her transition, I am moving at a sullen, strange, slow motion clip
Wayward, dazed and confused on a moonless night like a lost, unmoored ship
It happened - I wrote the dread of the last call by phone
It happened - I wrote the dread of solo sunrises alone
I have lost track of the daze
Absolut ***** should make a special infused flavor called Purple Praise
It could be a substitute drink for the cigs that shortened My Nadia’s days
A man of My word I am with nothing left to bend
My commitments last past the test of time with no end
I’ve taken a hit, below the belt followed by an unfair body blow
For good measure, the cruel life mambo continued with an upper cut combo
I see the nice female buffet of style, culture, texture, warmth, smiles, language, smarts, money, eyeing and sighing
I am too busy trying to stop crying

There is the thought of sharing another man’s wife
Then if love is lost the pain is shared with another man’s life
There goes a beautiful curvy sweater with great Coco pearls
and a Paris cut coat with a cowl collar swoop
I see the strong yet supple Italian craft on those jodhpurs
- designed to elongate knee high boots
Nice New York coat with the seven times spun silk London scarf
Yes, you wear it well.  The Universe knows how to give the female form
a slippery sweet divine spark
My eyes should synapse to my brain and should be fantasy inspired
Maybe never again, my soul is weary, my spirit is tired
Someone, Aleph Bet - - please ask them to sit down or
at least move over 500 feet out of my view
They are blocking me from seeing My Nadia send me another
personalized sunset marked
‘ just for you ’

Loving flowers in the newness of the morning
Is a true visit from the heart with the Creator
Beauty is clothed to help inspire the naked eye
My guess is God intended the light to help our sight
Nature is keen to be seen and happy to broadcast on the fly
Your huge broad smile of life is a bright spark to everything under the Sun
Because You honor the Peace and the Love in everyone

from time to time every living being has a feeling
in the recesses of our minds that leaves us reeling
it is hard to put a name or title on how we live our individual song
expressing Agape love is never wrong
You have made and continue to make van Young's life unique
i am humbled and blessed to know there is one heart who beats in a forever dance
cheek to cheek

stepping outside the concept of Paul's Hebrew letter setting no terms for
more than one life
there must be something else going on for You to be such a deep eternal inspiration
and to be so nice

if You only knew the effect that Your kindness has on Me
it is not the cards, the special gifts, the kind words
the help with Tex Dog or simply sharing Your Art, Your poetic reality
it is that Your heart based actions speak volumes
and Spirit will continue to bless You because Your Love is universally felt and heard

in fact, You have more mega blessings coming Your way and they will go on and on
without solicitation or invitation Your actions soothe the weary life of an old man
who feels alone

Your Mister hit the jackpot as waking to find You next to Him is a wonderful life stroke
i don't mind picking up the crumbs of any trail You leave
i do hope He sees that as the first in line for Your energy, attention and time, He is one lucky bloke

thru recent challenges, roller coaster soaring and valleys of weeping type dips
more than gifts from You, thoughts of You, soothes the onslaught of My personal flips
i wish i knew how right on time You are able to send this writer's depression reeling
' just because ' on the back of the env brought Me back to the existence of feeling

simple tangible items like ' a clutch of church keys in a bag ' send Me over the moon
the message You sent seemed to be saying ' all is well - all will be well '
those little soldiers arrived just in time to be a vitamin B shot to My life and a surprising boon
once again, certainly in this life, You stopped an unspoken slide into the personal pit of puro hell

before the sun was flung
before the first celestial notes were sung
before the first oxygen to carbon release
before the design of inner space seas
You must have been painting the sky cerulean blue
in all You are, all You do, to You i sincerely bow and bow and bow
sending thanks to the Creator for allowing Me to be healed by knowing You ~

When I first heard about this
I believed it

It’s still true today
With some added twists

I did not realize how painful it could be
To talk about race
Skin color
Good hair
How does oral *** taste

Yes, a Cubano asked Me if Black women taste more ‘ exotic ’

Brown Paper Bag

I was born in Tortuga
My formative years were spent in Vera Cruz
Adulthood started in Houston Texas
I grew up at the corner of Argyle and Cahuenga in the armpit of Hollywood
I learned more there than My Momma ever taught Me

In Tortuga, everyone looked like Me
The only color We chased was green
When You see Black Mexicans with straight black hair, most - may - have – ties to Vera Cruz on the Gulf Coast of Mexico
The slave ship was supposed to turn right and it turned left instead
From hundreds of years of intermarriage, most of the people are dark so there is no special privilege based on skin color, just puro family or no

Texas was an instant nightmare in the daytime
Sunday morning at approximately 10:00 is the most segregated time in the state
You can see it in the Brown Paper Bag
Hollywood did not want to see anything Black
Between the sheets, keeping the beat, fixing the meat, holding a seat or in the streets
True across America
Look at early 20th Century dancers at the Apollo
Black people also bought into the mindset
The litmus test for success ?
Brown Paper Bag

My Filipino neighbors know how to throw a party
Thru a gate in the backyards, our doors were always accessible
One party had a huge crowd of visitors from Manila Metro
Somehow, the party settled into a type of invisible groups avoiding each other
I did not know White soldiers told the Filipino people that the Black soldiers had tails
Repeat the alternative facts enough times and it becomes truth
Observation led to questions and the answer given was
Brown Paper Bag

I met someone enjoyable
Pure fun
Same interests
Same flight trajectory
Or so I thought

When it was time to meet family
It fell apart
The reason that roared
And the bull that gored
Was deeply ingrained
Socially strained
And sad

The generational law was :

Don’t come home with anything darker than a brown paper bag

Census is taken to say who is what and who is where
Other side says this type of tagging by race, *** and locale is over
I think I get why the rub is set for the mirror’s glare
Points taken are bold when random logic runs for cover

Careless counts of dispossessed use a simple sample and a smatter
Don’t leave the car, drive thru and watch them scatter
Insulateds say amongst themselves ‘ it can’t be that bad ’
It is much worse than that.  It is sad

This did not start out to rant or rave
Thoughts of nothing are the best to save
A small chip here, a small dab over there
Hope, stay alert, watch the horizon for someone who cares

Monday started off sunny
We finished the north forty
That lunch you fixed
Was a real big hit with the rest
Old man Jose sends his best

We had a few laughs
When the tractor got stuck
Jack ripped his new jeans
On the old combine machine
All the while yelling what the truck

No love tonight honey
I’m feeling the fog
Yes, I moved the car
And yes I slopped the hogs
Not tonight honey
Some **** fool stole my favorite dog

The man in the suit
Only offered us half
We’ve been nursing that crop all year
To move things along
I thought of this song
Btw, is there any more beer ?

No love tonight honey
I’m feeling the fog
Yes, I moved the car
And yes I slopped the hogs
Not tonight honey
Some **** fool stole my favorite dog

The radio went out somewhere around noon
To pass the time and not lose our minds
We sang old Motown tunes

This coming weekend would feed my habit
Tex and I planned to go hunt rabbit
From a little pup that dog knew what to do
Both of us loved coming home to you

No love tonight honey
I’m feeling the fog
Yes, I fixed the sink
And yes I chopped some fire logs
But, not tonight honey
Some **** fool stole my favorite dog

I see you
Sweet like candy
But definitely a handful

I don’t want to do anything to you
I don’t want to do anything for you
I would love to experience with you

So the fave color is red
There is beauty behind your eyes – in your head
Brains built of action from your hands and happening in front of your eyes

What a surprise when you spoke to me
Simple yet impressive and something I did not see coming

Love is where you find it
Hot – sour – bitter – slightly messy
Unconditional from the crown at the top of the head to bottom of the feet

Now what ?

I don’t want to do anything to you
I don’t want to do anything for you
I would love to experience with you

Think of making love in a chair
For this to work
Both of us have to be willing and somewhat fair

Are you really sure you want unconditional ?
Can you actually accept my faults and failings ?
I have never been to prison
I believe in feelings
I am an old man with ideas, designs and thoughts in a battle with the Universe
I know how to trust you
Can you hold the word commit when the sky falls ?

I will never let you fall
I promise I’ll never make you cry
When you get scared
I’ll hold you tighter
You do not have to ask
I am your fighter

I would never question the Creator
The thief of air has taken love from me
Several times
Was my heart being prepared for you ?

Now what ?

Can you accept my creative mess process ?
Can you see the fun in how I get things done ?
Are you willing and ready for the ride of a lifetime ?
If your answer leans toward yes, double buckle – it going to be bumpy – but fun

Our daughter will be divine
Will you balk when I beg you to try for a son ?
Your effect on another male can change the world and all humankind

Spirit guides my life now
I can’t explain it
I know it when I see it

Here are my jealousies
Are you willing to grant me your T E A ?
Time – Energy – Attention

Let’s lock this energy in place
I am willing to do – not try – do
Bring me you

I am better than I used to be
Not as good as I will be

Can you love a person like me ?

I do not want your day
I do not want your night
I am a person of commitment
I want your lifetime

I will cherish those days you are mad at me
I will cherish those days you don’t understand me

No matter how sweet
I promise to never cheat
If I have to crawl thru broken glass
I always come home

Can your comfort zone let me share ?
Right or wrong
Will you be there ?

Some things I do very strong
Others start with tender
Madness is not something I accept
Yet, know that I stand
And put all of life in a blender

Here is the warning – the caveat :
Are you a moth or a flame ?

Feet on the ground
Living
The possibilities are all blue sky
Tender ******* makes Angels cry

I have no idea why as an old man I am more emotional than I used to be

It makes no sense  - that  - things - that
have been there all along are now inviting Me to see

That

there is color in the creation of things
Birds of shades of light - flight on wispy anti gravity wings
Smells like fresh cut green grass in cool sea breeze air
Bell pepper, onion, celery and garlic in a stir fry flair
Honey
Room temperature brie on an unsalted crisp with a chilled white wine
Served with a peeled grape that matured on the vine
Puppy dog excitement – from a puppy dog
Simple beauty in a dying rose
The mystical marvel of logical thought
And the lack of flack from the lack of its use




Sauteed, seared succulent mushrooms
A ripe juicy apple that snaps and squirts when you bite
Hearing a newborn baby cry
Hearing any voice say ‘ good night ’

I have no idea why as an old man I feel more sensual than I used to be as brash, young brass
Yes - Now
With old man issues – think calling 9-1-1 in a white neighborhood - I get there fast

Age 105 has some beautiful parts
There’s seeing – there’s knowing with the same set of eyes - Very little can present itself as a surprise

There is a reason why the Art of cunning survives as an instinct in the grey fox
The instructions for living outside the box - are written - on the outside of the box

I have no idea why as an old man I am more concrete than what I remember wanting to be
We can’t go back.
The fires we set ourselves often cut off retreat
In a lifetime of putting out fires that started from a single, solitary, tiny spark
With Spirit on our side,
Peace in at least one eye,
those skyscraper sized flames will lighten the load on the road ahead
and smash the dark

Is this True ? : don’t sweat the small stuff
because it’s all small stuff ?

Is it true the passage of time will dull pain ?

Live to Encounter – Engage – Expand Encounter – Engage – Expand thru infinite skies

A warm Summer breeze dancing thru the tops of the lightly swaying palm trees

So is Time in front of our eyes

I admit I am a sinner
I admit I have made mistakes
I will probably make mistakes again in the future
Blot out My iniquities from Your mind and sight
My walk has not always been straight and narrow
My heart and life are weary
I need Your help
Shadows circle Me like sharks at feeding time
I am sorely vexed by issues of My own making
And issues delivered by others
Uncertainty clouds the future
No one stands beside Me
The wolf at the door had puppies

I have tried to do right
Tried to help others
The heavy weight of survival is pressing up against Me
Where do I turn
What happens next
I feel alone
I feel homeless
I feel penniless
I feel abandoned by You
You have come to the aid of others so why am I not on that list
You have come to My aid before with mega blessings
Does it have to be this way now

And yet
I deeply bow to what You do
What you have already done
What you have planned ahead

Since there is no way I could know the next moment
the future
I have no choice
You told me to put my trust in Elohim
I have
You told me to wait on the LORD
I have
You told me that I would experience beyond anything I could ever know
I have not

Your Word cannot return void

What is it I have not done to receive Your blessings
What is it I need to do right now to have your blessings shower me
Tell me what to do

Is the feather a sign
Is the good word from the Oracle a sign
Can you see my tears
Can you feel my heart
Can you see my housing threat
Can you see my transportation issues
Can you accept my worshiping you
Can you feel my longings
Yeshua said you know all of this and more before I ask
Honor His Words
Can you just step it up a bit

I sit here in silence
Daring to wonder what is next
I am dust destined to be worm food
My Spirit will return to You
There is no good reason for me to suffer
Yes I do honestly believe You do not want Me to suffer
Come Holy Spirit
Come Holy Spirit
Come right now
Come right now
You are the only power

ELOHIM
You are the only power to trust
Bless me right
Work your miracles right now
Send Your ministering Angels to surround Me
Send Your ministering Angels to lift Me
To protect Me
To direct Me how to solve the survival issues
To show Your love for Me
To show My love for You
Though You loved Me first
Help Me
Help Me
Help Me