I wanna be dancing
With the bass thumping loud
Sweaty and half naked
Lost in the crowd.

People all around me
A laser light show up above
The DJ's playing beats
Music that I love.

Raw, wild and filthy
Hips swaying like a snake
The darkness illuminated
By the light shows people make.

Everyone is dancing
Here in the middle of the floor
Bodies rocking and grooving
Sinful sweat dripping from our pores.

But for now I fantasize
About this moment in my mind
Sometime soon it will come true
And I'll get to bump and grind.

My mom didn't warn me about guys like you
In fact I don't think she knew
That any of you existed
Anymore.

But I don't think she has anything to be afraid of
No I don't think she would have warned me
I think she would have encouraged me
All along the way.

But here we are
We're holding each other close
And I'm whispering to you
That I love you.

When you whisper it back
I feel this something in my heart
Flesh out and resonate
Towards you.

I just wanna trap you
That sounds a little weird, I know
But I wanna trap you
In my arms forever.

Or maybe I'll just take you by the hand
And go out on the dance floor
Cause you know I can't do it without you
And if I hadn't  said yes, you would have dragged me.

I would have kicked and screamed
The whole way
But would that really get us anywhere?
Would that really make it any easier?

But I told you I wasn't easy
Like when I told you I wouldn't let you have me
The first night
That one night
The night I kissed you
For the first time.

And I'm sure you've noticed
That nothing is easy with me
I'm quite the cookie to crack
Cause instead of cracking I might crumble.

Into a million little pieces
Then what would you do?

I don't know what I'd do
Cause in the pieces I'd lose my brain
My mind would up and run away
And my body would be lifeless.

But it's okay
Everyone makes mistakes sometimes
And if I crumble instead of cracking
You better put me back together
Because I spent all these ******* years
Actually I believe it was my whole life
--Being broken
And I'm not about to give up all those years (my whole **** life)
Willingly, or easily.

And like I said
I'm not easy
And I never will be
But I guess that makes things interesting.
Doesn't it?

Do I deserve you?
My insecurities think not
But what do they know,
About what we've got?

I don't have any doubt
About whether I love you or not
But I wonder "Do I deserve you?"
Often in my thoughts.

I bet it's because I lack
A confidence of grand amount
And have never been with someone so amazing
So naturally I have doubt.

But not about our love
Just whether I deserve you or not
Because I look down on myself
And wonder what goods I've got.

It'll soon pass, I know
As other things have
I'll learn to let it go
And put it in the past.

Cause most of me knows
That I deserve you
But part of me doesn't
Because our love is so true.

Too good to be true?
Maybe, but not
What do my insecurities know,
About the love we've got?

Just when I think
My inspiration has run dry
You sneak your way into my mind
And show me how to fly.

The words I construct
Flit across the page
With love and romance
And freedom from a cage.

My heart soars for you
And sings a melody
Lovesick and a romantic
For you, from me.

You've changed my life
In a magical way
From black to colorful
From plain to gay.

But what I'm trying to tell you
Is that you're very special to me
In more ways than just my love for you
But how you set me free.

It's strange how time goes by so slowly
But I feel like it's been so long
Since we have been together
Writing our love song.

But it is really great
That time tricks us like this
Cause I'd like to cherish you
In every moment of bliss.

I love you, sir
More than I think even -I- know
And I'll hold onto you forever
Because you're now stitched into my life flow.

Caged in rage
I think I've had enough
But there's so many steps to take.

Trapped in anger
Sometimes I just wish I could run
And never come back to this place.

There's more than enough anger
To go around
But I want none of it.

The negativity is suffocating
And drowning me in what I don't feel
I've had enough. I've had enough.

Galactic starlight of gold
Fluorescent and glowing strong
I'll keep it even though
I can't hold it very long.

This odd ball of bright
Is everyone's guiding star
With it you can see the city
And you can see very far.

But it's the only light in the city
Because every other it consumes
Who needs more than this ball of bright?
Only the greedy, it presumes.

It has a mind of it's own
It's goal to protect and control
The people worship it humbly
Their oppression something unknown.

They can't leave the city
To the world outside
The ball of bright though is hungry
For more power, in it's pride.

Cause the star is confined
To these city walls
Though it's powerful
It cannot leave at all.

So within these walls it suffers
As the people suffer as well
Though they're blissfully unaware
Of the stars want to rage Hell.

The starlight ball so bright
Really wants to leave the city behind
In it's yearn for freedom
It has a plan in mind.

It'll expand the walls of the city
By raging wars and fire
Gain more land and thus more freedom
And build it's tower higher and higher.

That is not what it really wants
The freedom is nice and fine
Though it's not really freedom at all
But power hungry in kind.

Because though it has more land
More people and more power
The walls still trap it endlessly
So it resides alone in it's tower.

Immortal life for the star
Along with power and land
But a yearn for freedom
To be held in a hand.

And let it go into the sky
Back to where it belongs
We took it for our own greed and power
Let it be free to go home.

Stars shouldn't be confined
Within city walls to rule everyone
To be worshiped and fed power
When it should just have freedom.

Feed it and it grows strong and mindless
But let it be free and it will be soft and guiding
Feed it and it will be powerful and hungry
But let it be free and it will grant wishes to your liking.

So keep the stars in the sky
They can still guide us through the night
But they're free up there
And it's better for everyone in their plight.

Heal the wound before it hurts
But it will still leave a scar
Brush the ashes under the rug
But it's like keeping them in a jar.

The scar is a reminder
Though you never felt the pain
And the ashes carry a memory
Like a carpet stain.

Let the scar be a part of you
But not what has the say
And don't brush the ashes under the rug
Just let them blow away.

Flower petals fall
From a wilting bloom
The rain has long been gone
It hasn't brought it's yearned for gloom.

The blossom looks down
To the earth it sprouted from
It's back bending over
The rain, it wants it to come.

Though it's death is near
A new plant will arise
From the seeds it drops
And the rain falling from high.

When the next blossom blooms
It will smile up at the sky
But until it can be born
Another has to die.

Life is beautiful with you
The flowers smell nicer
The sky is bigger and more blue.

Life is amazing with you
The sun is warmer
The rain is more refreshing and true.

Life is colorful with you
The sunset is prettier
The blossoms are vibrant and brighter.

Life is happy with you
The nights are calmer
The days are silly and lighter.

Life is better with you
You are a light to my world
A reason to my rhymes.

Life is how life should be with you
Everything is promising
Everything is good, even through the bad times.

"We fit together so nicely,"
You said
And I completely agree
Something so right, so meant to be.

It starts with a sweat
And a intense wash of cold
In reaction to the heat
On the inside of me.

A shiver-- or two
Quaking my form
And there you are
Between my thighs.

I'm holding my breath
Or I'm breathing heavy
And I'm biting my lip
Cause it feels so nice.

We fit together like puzzle pieces
Rocking and stretching our limbs
Colliding in a moment
Of a rising ******.

Then it comes quick
Only a split second to think
To realize what is really happening
Just long enough to react.

Starting with a flicker
Of a fiery sensation
Between my legs
And it spreads, like a wildfire

It pops
Explodes
And I feel it everywhere
A release.

My muscles ****
And it's like I'm trying to escape from my own skin
My jaw clenches
Then goes slack.

My eyes roll
My mind a kaleidoscope of thoughts
There's no sense of control
Just waves of reactions upon reactions.

A thousand different tickles
Down my thighs and to my toes
Like the sensation of warm water
When you're bitterly cold.

After the initial shake of the explosion
My mind is useless
And I have to put myself back in my body
Because for a moment I was free.

The tension is gone
Every part of me is loose
And everything is sensitive and temperamental
Like a candles flame.

For a moment there's nothing
Nothing but my body
No mind
No thoughts
No silly people things

Just the raw
The primal
The true being I am
And I see you..

You're between my thighs
Starstruck by the moment
Marveling at my body
As it rolls into yours.

I'm ****** back into the act
Like a magnet to it's kind
And you're so ******* beautiful
And you're all mine
And here, right now
We're one.

My body is powerless to you
And yours is powerless to me
We don't speak
We simply feel
And that's a closeness most don't achieve.

A bond
Like no other
Body
And mind.

"We fit together so nicely,"
You said
And I completely agree
Something so right, so meant to be.

I love you more
Than the flowers love rain
So I kiss you like that.

I love you more
Than the lizard loves the sun
So I kiss you like that.

I love you more
Than I hate pain
So I kiss you like that.

I love you more
Than I want to run
So I kiss you like that.

I love you more
Than I want to cry, sometimes
So I kiss you like that.

I love you more
Than I hate stress
So I kiss you like that.

I love you more
Than I love writing rhymes
So I kiss you like that.

I love you more
Than I know how to express
So I kiss you like that.

And you like it like that,
So it'll always be like that.

I wanna hold on to you
I wanna kiss you like I ought to
I wanna make love to you
I wanna touch you like I always do.
I wanna console you
I wanna tell you I love you like I ought to
I wanna protect you
I wanna shield you like I always do.
I don't wanna let you go
I wanna let my feelings show
I wanna tell you what I know
I wanna keep you from woe.
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna
You can't always have what you want, they say
But you told me, clearly
That I can have you however which way.

I won't think twice about it
Though I will admit
That I was dealt ****
But I didn't quit
So I deserve this.

Could it be happening like this?
So fast, so new, so fresh
I'm practically weak in the knees
Especially when I'm in his arms.

The world is so much more now
Than it was before
Everything is so colorful
Rather than black and white.

I could -die- for him
I know that's crazy to hear
We haven't been together for long..
But that's how I feel.

I have this gut feeling
That we're really gonna go far
It's almost terrifying
But I welcome it.

I always imagined it being like this
This love thing
I never really had it
Thought I did, but I was wrong.

This is how it really is to be in love
Powerful, passionate, exhilarating
And rather than -pretending- that I feel those things
They really are there, exploding on the inside of my heart.

I tried to find this kind of love before
But you can never really go out looking for it
And when you finally stop searching everywhere
It falls right into your lap, like it had never been hidden.

I literally swoon
He makes me swoon
I didn't ever think swooning was real
Just an over dramatization of a small feeling you only see in movies.

His eyes on me make me melt
His kisses lead me into a spinning excitement
Where the world outside of that moment, outside our universe,
Ceases to exist all together.

The best part is knowing that fairy-tale love exists
As long as you find the right person
Wait! Don't rush! Don't settle!
It'll come to you. It will.

As I conclude
This poetic letter of my confession, straight from my heart
Let love evade you!
If you keep chasing it-- it will never come

Love.
I couldn't think of a better word.

This is where I belong
Painting a picture of you and me
In fluorescent technicolor.

Reality is upside down
But that's the way it's supposed to be
When you feel like this for each other.

The water's deep and overwhelming
The excitement of something new
Filling me to the brim.

I will swim through the water
It's eternal depth so rainbow, yet blue
And all I can see is now is you.

Is this a dream?
I'd rather not wake up if it is
I could just sleep like this forever.

I guess this is what you get
When you wait around for the right kiss
Isn't love so slippery and clever?

I've captured it in my hands
Finally letting it take over my heart
And I'll allow it to continue to grow.

I won't let it escape
This is such a wonderful part
Of the story that is my life flow.

You validate everything
I have wished to be validated for
Everything so small
And everything so big.

You point out everything
I've wanted to be pointed out
And not only with your words
But you like it, too.

And everything I've ever wanted
You've made it happen
Everything I wish I may, wish I might
You granted.

I wanted to be beautiful
And now I am
I always was
But I see it now, like you do.

I wanted to be unique
And now I am
You've encouraged me to be the difference
That I've always tried to be.

I wanted to be adventurous
A real die hard thrill seeker
I'm not quite there
But I believe I can be anything now.

I wanted to be loved
Madly, out of control but exciting loved
And here you are
Surpassing even that.

I wanted to grow
And I reached to the sky so many times
But I didn't know
I couldn't do it alone.

I wanted to be thought of every day
Or at least thought of affectionately
You think of me all of the time
And I don't doubt your love.

I wanted to be important
To one person, or to all
And just by one look
I know I'm your world.

I wanted to be acknowledged
For all those dumb things you want to be acknowledged for
And you do it so well
And sincerely.

I wanted to be accepted
No matter my faults
And you take it all
With open arms.

I wanted someone to smile
Because of me
Because of something I did
Because of something I said
Because of something I am
Be happy, because of me.

I've only known distaste
Because of me
Because of something I did
Because of something I said
Because of something I am
Being unhappy, because of me.

Because of who I am.

Everything I am
You've grown to love
And I think all my wishes
Have come true.

I don't have to cry those tears anymore
The ones of wanting to change
Because all I wanted
Was to be loved for me.

And now I am.

I think I've decided I'm crazy
Like really lost my mind
But you're just as crazy
So I've come to find.

"Let's talk about how beautiful you are," you said
And snuggled into my shoulder
"Let's talk about spaceships," I said
Maybe I was growing bolder.

Then you replied, wittily,
"You'd look beautiful in a spaceship."
And that was when I realized
I was biting my lip.

Because you see, the mingling
Of the Strings, all around you and me
Have intertwined our crazy minds
And thus set us free.

I might look pretty in a spaceship
But that is not the point
The point is, the ground we fell upon
Has a common joint.

And maybe that doesn't make sense
But to me, I see the factors matching
Connecting all our String Theory Strings,
Each others breath we are catching.

And maybe that's what love is
When our wriggly Strings combine
Or maybe that's how you teleport
And even read my mind.

Either way, I think we're crazy
And match up fairly true
Pretty in a spaceship, or not
I am definitely in love with you.

The sky captures my heart
Stabilizing it's sporadic beat
When things start spinning out of control
Looking up will keep me on my feet

It's always the same
At least for my lifetime
And when everything is changing
The sky is a reason to the  chaotic rhyme

The mass is stretched
The stars a scatter
The moon glows bright
It all quiets my inner chatter

There's something calming
About it's existence
Always there
Without resistance

It adds a color to the world
Whether day or night
The stars showing you're not alone
Or the sun shining bright

Clouds showing how it breathes
Rain expressing it's pain
Thunder the sound of it's cries
Lightning striking angry, announcing it's name

The sky is above us
And will always be around
As long as we live
It will keep us earth bound

And with it we will know
That it will always be
Consistent and stable
When everything else is changing freely.

When I use to look in the mirror
I didn't see pretty
In fact I didn't see me
Or anything beautiful at all.

I'd pick myself apart
Piece by piece
Bring myself to tears
Sob and bawl.

It's not that I hated myself
I just didn't see anything I liked
But I've come to learn it's not about me
And what I see.

If I can see what you see
Then it doesn't matter what I think
Because to you I'm beautiful
And that's all I have to be.

You appreciate every part of me
Every curve, every limb
Even when I'm not feeling so pretty
You're dying to get me bare.

And that's a nice thing to be
I can't really argue with that
Cause now I see what you see
Which is completely fair.

So when I look in the mirror
I don't have to think twice
About my beauty
About my soul.

And when I look in the mirror
I see everything you see
Even if I'm still a little shy
I accept me as a whole.

All thanks to you
I see me
I don't have to pick myself apart anymore.

Not all the colors within myself,
are bright and flecked with gold.
In fact some of them are dark,
and some of them are old.
A few are striped and tiled,
others are polka-dotted and lined with black.
Lots of them are glittery,
and some of them are layered in a stack.
Several are pastels and pretty,
a couple are neon and glow.
With all the colors inside myself,
I make a contrasting, ridiculous and wild, rainbow.
Everyone has colors within themselves,
That makes up who they are,
Some of them are tacky,
Lots are metallic like a star.
But a lot of them are specific,
Each hue to each person,
Every palette is unique,
Just look at everyone!
So if you look inside yourself,
And check out your color collage,
I'm sure you'll be pretty impressed
With your colorful modge podge!

Your beauty is like a diamond
Began as rough
Shined up sparkly
To something that is enough..

For me to see how beautiful you are
Under the calloused surface of your skin
You glow like a moonbeam
Brilliant beneath your sin.

Everyone is a sinner
But to me you're divine
Your spirituality is powerful
Can you see who you really are through my eyes?

Like honey I lick you up
So sticky sweet to my lips
The nectar of your essence
Upon my finger tips.

And you're delicious, so tasty
I love you the way you are
As precious as gold, to me
Rare like a falling star.

I've caught you in my hands
Sticky, brilliant, tasty, bright
I'll pour my water over you
Honey-filled moonbeam, delight.

This is my personal card
Of course from me to you
This was kind of hard
Since there's so many words to use.

Though nothing can express
What a mother you have been
Yes, sometimes things can be a mess
But quickly we get over our sin.

I love you more than anything
And nothing will ever change that
For you and I, we have this string
The holds us back to back.

Both sides want the same thing
But in different ways
Who knows what this love will bring
We will have the watch the days...

Both sides so opposite
And yet so the same
But grab you mitt
Let's play this game.

This game of love and trust
This game of daughter and mother
This game is such a must
This game is against one another.

But why can't we be a team?
Get along, like we should
Why can 't things be peachy keen?
I bet if we tried, we could...

But things can be so much fun this way
You sure have taught me a lot
For tomorrow's just another day
Time cannot be bought.

So we better spend it right
Go out and have some fun
Let's try not to fight
So put down you're pointless gun.

Yes.. Challenges may come our way
Our love will beat them down flat
So be prepared for my play
Because I'm up to bat.

So this poem of our opposite teams
Is so completely true
And yet we support each others dreams
We just don't tell each other we do.

This might be a bit confusing
But this entire thing is right
I bet it's a bit amusing
When we think back to our fights.

I love you, I really do
So please except this gift
Yes, from me to you
Don't show anyone this poem, even if you can't resist.

The sun it sets on tonight
It reminds you to let everything go
The day following is new and clean
So just let the good vibes flow.

The sun it sets to remind us
That it's time to go to sleep
But more importantly
It ends the day we try to keep.

Hanging on does you no good
To the day you should probably forget
It only causes you more pain
Then the original regret.

So let the sun set on tonight
And remember tomorrow is a new day
Holding on only makes it worse
Go on, forget about yesterday.

When I met you I didn't think it would be this way
In fact I had my eyes on someone else
But really that was just a step in your direction
And more help to find myself.

And when I found myself
In one all-night-long conversation of digging deep in my soul
I realized that was just a stepping stone
To where I am now, just another paid toll.

Your image had been so foggy in my mind
I knew not of who you were
And not of who you could be
Or even of the power
You had over me.

It was a gradual pull
Tugging me towards you
A look through a crowd
A brief touch while walking across a room.

As I recall now
I vaguely knew of the connection
How gravity would pull us together
Without me paying any attention.

I let you keep me
You asked so sweetly
My head told me no
But my heart disagreed.

I answered with a kiss
The one you had been craving
I let you have no more
I had secrets I was saving.

And look at where we are now
Many adventures have been had
And many more to come
There hasn't been an inch of anything bad.

I'm madly in love
Completely clumsy over you
Totally twitter-painted
With everything you are and everything you do.

A night without you is insanity
As much as it is good for me
The space is as nice as it is lonely
But that's a healthy thing to be.

I could just lay in bed with you all day
Lounging arrogantly in the ****
I enjoy it the most
But going out is good too.

And I suppose I'd probably get sick
Of lounging all the time
The rarity is so fun
And probably why it feels so nice.

I could get lost in your eyes
And stare at you forever
I swear love is like a drug...
Can we stay addicted together?

Forever.

Take my hand in yours
I'll tell you all that's in my heart
Open all my doors
And this is only the start.

Let's take on the world
I'll be your mastermind
I can't do it without you
And we've got plenty of time.

Our love can conquer anything
That's not something that I just feel
But something I know
Something that is stable and real.

I love you, I love you, I love you!
I wish I had a better phrase
I'll scream it at the top of my lungs
'Til I'm blue in the face.

But that will never entirely describe
Exactly how I feel
That's why I write all these rhymes
To express in full detail.

Don't ever let me go
Don't ever let me go
I had to say it twice
To get my point across
Once just wouldn't suffice.

I hope you know what you're getting yourself into
I know I say this a lot
And if I had the appropriate words
I'd tell you exactly what you've caught.

Me.

This is all me right here
And if you don't approve
You can **** it
Cause this is what you got yourself into.

So here I am
All my heart put into words
And as the time goes by
My emotions continue to stir.

And create something tangible
Of stability and strength
Like a rope it braids
Into a hearty and on-going length.

So let's rule the world together
Just take it over
Grand supreme exalted dictator
And your mastermind lover.

There are so many things I wish I could say
Wish I could describe
In a perfect way
That everyone could understand me.

And I know not everyone thinks the same
As I do, every day
It's a complicated distance that I came
To get to where I am.

I walked a many desert storms
In bare feet with the ground so hot
I could have been lost though I was reborn
From the journey of the dry.

I swam a many oceans stretched
Naked and freezing
I could have drowned but something I fetched
In the water saved my life.

I climbed a many mountains high
Without protection of stable ground
The incline uprising like my sigh
But my luck kept me from falling.

Or maybe it was God's gracious light
Watching over me
Or maybe fate just didn't want to take me that night
I'm not so sure, but I am pleased.

Cause my life has been a journey
Of uphills, downhills
Falls and climbs
But here I am today
Walking along this line--
Through life.

No one told you,
When you would turn thirteen,
That you would suddenly do your make-up,
And try girly things.
You would no longer like baseball,
But rather going shopping for shoes,
And going to the mall,
To watch boys and what they do.
No one told you,
That when you would add one more year,
You would start to change,
And your life you would begin to steer.
You would date your first real boy,
And obsess over him for a week,
Then he would treat you like a toy,
And find he is not what you seek.
No one told you,
That when you would turn fifteen,
Make-up would not be all that important,
And you would not much like girly things.
Once again you would like sports,
But did not quite obsess over shoes,
You would have a crush on a dork,
And you would not be sure what to do.
No one told you,
That when you would add another year,
You would think **** is a fashion,
And that boy you had liked is now a queer.
Then that queer became your best friend,
And he would take you shopping for shoes,
But you would rather get a job,
And start becoming something new.
No one told you,
That when you would turn seventeen,
You would realize sixteen is so far away,
And feel stuck in between.
You would have your job and your best friend,
And all the shoes you ever could want,
But it would not seem like enough,
And your body you would not really flaunt.
No one told you,
That when another year would go by,
That you would still feel like a teenager,
And you would not know what to do with your life.
High school would finally be over,
And yet you would miss it so much,
Your best friend would have moved away,
And you would feel like you have lost your touch.
No one told you,
That when you would turn nineteen,
You would be shopping for furniture,
For your best friend that had moved away.
And that he would come back into town,
Deciding he was not gay,
And he wanted you to be down,
For getting married one day.
No one told you,
That when life gets a little uncontrollable,
The most unexpected happens,
And you would find it unavoidable.
No one told you,
And I am sure you are thinking that I am right,
That when you were a teenager,
You felt like life was so “tight!”
And other times it was not so great,
Like when you partied ‘til you yakked,
And when you lost your virginity,
It was with that guy that did not want you back.
And when you would do drugs for the first time,
You would have to sneak out of your house,
And you would fall asleep after the high,
And your parents would find out.
No one told you,
All those things you thought: you would never do,
And all those things they said: you would not,
Even though you thought you ought to.
No one told you,
About the tears that you would cry,
And the times you would laugh so hard,
That you would *** yourself and lie to get by.
And all the classes you would skip,
To get things you did not need,
And that you would drive your car into a ditch,
Man, don't you wish you had not done it?
But if you had not,
You would not be who you are,
And I bet you are happy they did not tell you,
And I bet you are happy your wish on a star,
Did not come true.
All because no one told you.

I'm not very good at this
Explaining myself and what I do
Deciphering my emotions
Deciding what is wrong and what is true.

So let's start with the no
And later with the yes
One means "Absolutely!"
And the other a "I guess"

It's a bit confusing
But I know you'll understand
If maybe I write it down
To lend you a helping hand.

When I say maybe
I really don't have a clue
Of what or how I feel
And what we should do.

So back to yes it's simple
When it doesn't mean yes
It's probably a "No"
Or a "Not quite yet."

When you cross all the I's
And dot the T's
Everything is spelled correct
And really easy to read.

But if you don't speak my language
Because I'm afraid you aren't me
And you definitely aren't a girl
I'm sorry, but that's how it has to be.

And when I'm mad I'm not really mad
Or I'm very *******
Though I probably won't tell you
But clear my throat and cough.

Because when I'm nervous I fidget
And it's obvious to most
That I'm afraid to give a straight answer
For what I fear might come too close.

I don't like getting yelled at
In fact it's usually the response
That I get when I speak openly
And tell of all my wants.

But I have to learn
That you can't always be afraid
It's only more problematic
And expands the mess I made.

So I should just speak my mind
I will try, when I can
And tell you a direct answer
So that you understand.

Because I probably just boggle you
Twist you up and confuse you
Turn you upside down
Even though I don't mean to.

So sometimes yes means no
And other times no means yes
And when I say maybe
That's usually a I guess.

So that is half of the time
But even that's not completely true
I guess I could try a little harder
And break it down for you.

So yes is sometimes maybe
And no is always no
But maybe is absolutely
And I guess, is what you should watch out for.

Because when I say I guess
I really mean no, never
Unless I'm smiling
Then we can do it together.

I'm having a hard time explaining
I'm sure you can see
Maybe there's no use in trying
In figuring out me.

But I give you lots of credit
And lots of kisses too
Cause you've got it down pretty good
Probably better than I do.

So I'll stop trying to explain myself
It seems to be a waste of time
I'm only making it more confusing
By writing this rhyme.

Isn't it strange how some people are?
Hiding away, until it's dark
Then they shine like a star
--But is it too late?

It's never too late
I really believe
That misery can be pulled
Away by a leash.

It's only another dog
To eat your words
Without understanding..

Pearls to swine
You'll regret it later
Why waste your pearls on a thing like that?

I cast my pearls
And as a star I shine
Surprisingly I find
A light in the darkness
A single flicker
Starting to burn, the flames getting thicker
That's all it takes
A pearl to just one
A unicorn standing alone among pigs.

Sharing their pearls with one another
Each unique sphere valuable to the other
Pearls to swine
You'll regret it
But to one unicorn in a pack of pigs,
Your pearls are precious.

Being mildly depressed
Is something that wears out the soul
I bet I could have guessed
That it would begin to take a toll
And though I cannot cry
I still feel the pain
My tears will not dry
Until they fall like rain.

Just let it out
I want you to
It hurts when you don't
At least it hurts to some people, most people.

Release the tension
From your muscles
Allow desired escapism
To capture your mind.

I'll rub out all the kinks
I promise
I'll help ease the circulation
Of your blood flow.

Breathe deeply
In time with my breaths
Do you feel the energy
Between us?

I can feel it
It bounces from me to you
In a complicated connection
Of webs like a spiders.

Between you and I
I know where I stand
A confidence built
Progression over time.

Do you see it through my eyes?
A shadow cast
Over the light I've spread
An intimidating stretch of black.

Do you feel it like I do?
Bubbling up, boiling over
Glowing like moonlight
Warm like the sun.

The rain that haunts you
It haunts me to
Without prediction it falls
And destroys every endeavor.

Back to the first page
Sometimes you have to read it more than once
A few times
To really understand.

And some don't ever stop reading the same page
The same book
Over and over
Over and over.

But there's always an umbrella
There's my umbrella
And there's always other books
To read.

So let it out
Release the tension
Breathe in time with me
Can you feel it?
I can.

Open your eyes
Look at me
Do you see what I see
Between you and I?

I can see the wavelengths
Pulling and pushing
Growing and shrinking
Like ocean waves.

I'm connected to you
Open your eyes to see it
Accept the webs
Tying us together.

Now take a deep breath
See it ripple
As I breathe with you
It rolls.

It's a compromise
Of our desires
Feel the waves, see them
Wash over your skin.

The color is vibrant
Iridescent, fluorescent
Warm, wet, comforting
In rainbow shades.

It's glittered with stars
Like our own galaxy
I love you, you love me
That's all that matters.

The center is our hearts
With our bodies making the waves
The connection is strong
And inevitable.

The difference between you and I
Is forgotten
And we are one
In this galaxy, this web of glowing technicolor.

You eyes are blue
With honey so sweet
Accenting the sad-sad shade
Like a silver lined cloud.

It's funny, strange even
How the color of your eyes
Match the rain
That haunts you.

A complicated and versatile color
That collects in many locations
In everyone's life
Your life, my life.

Tell me what you see
As I breathe with you
Cause I see it
Do you see it too?

It's hard to put into words how I feel
But I'm sure everyone feels something the same
Though some hurt more than others
We're sharing the same pain.

None of us walk alone
We're in this together
We'll keep his memory alive
Keep it going, forever.

Though I'd like to say I can relate
I can never really imagine how he felt
But I know he's in a better place
This is just how the cards have been dealt.

Stay strong, my friends
I love you guys beyond the sky
And I'm here for all of you
I won't let you simply pass by.

Now remember Dean with a smile
Remember him with a laugh
Remember all the good times
Even though we can't have him back.

We'll see him in the afterlife
I know this is true
Rest in Paradise, Dean,  my friend
We all love you.

Beat out a rhythm
With my finger tips
All of the lyrics
Flowing from my lips.

A private dance party
When I'm all alone
I'm a Rockstar in my mirror
With my hairbrush microphone.

And maybe I'll be Rockstar
Someday, someday
Or just here in my bedroom
I have stage fright anyway.

Pump up the volume
No shirt, no pants
Jamming in my socks
My own private dance.

I do it just for fun
When I'm all alone
Rockstar in my mirror
With my hairbrush microphone.

"I really don't like this song
It sounds so terribly dead"
I looked around at all the people
They hadn't heard what I said.

"Turn it off!" I said
"Turn it off!" I said
"It's driving me completely insane!"
But the people there were inside of my head
And the song they played was the same.

Today I feel beautiful
Like a flower blossoming in spring
I've only just begun to blossom
Sprouting, I am becoming something.

Today I feel strong
Like the trunk of a tree
Weathered but mighty
My roots the base of me.

Today I feel light
Like a feather flying
My burdens not heavy
Or preventing me from trying.

Today I feel happy
Like a smile reaching eyes
The sadness once carried
Released like heavy sighs.

Today I am great
No matter the circumstance
Today is a good day
A day for my second chance.

Fraudulent like lies on paper
Written in blood so thick
Your sin it smells like perfume
The envelope sealed with a kiss, it makes me sick.

No one stands for your tales
Of truth created from spite
It's written on your forehead
I think you know that it isn't right.

You are aware of what you say
What you do and how you do it
You work up a smile like a wolf
But your prey won't fall into the bottomless pit.

Soon you will progress into destruction
From the venom of your own bite
Topple like a tower
Out of everyone's sight.

Funny how the cards fall
Interesting how it collapses from the inside
Weak in the middle of a hard outer shell
Destroyed by the relentless tide.

Down you go!
Into your own pit of hell
A familiar smile above you
From the ones that you didn't wish well.

All I want is to be something great
I just want to blow everyone away
Can it be that easy?
Is it something I have to say?

All I want is to expand minds
I just want to cause raptures
Can it be that simple?
Will my word be what captures?

Just let me be the star
That I know that I am
As rare as a pearl
You find within a clam.

Just let me be moving
As powerful as a river
Like a creeping on your skin
That causes you to shiver.

I know I'll come
Like a rain in a drought
Surprising, expected
With a sporadic route.

I know I'll come
Like a raging fire
Strong, relentless
Not far from desire.

This is all I want
It's nothing to you
But when I change the way the tide pulls
It's something you might look up to.

She had on Hello Kitty *******
That I discarded to the floor
I could have removed them romantically
But she was just a *****.

She had smaller **** than I expected
When I received referral from a friend
But her waist I could grab onto
And oh how she could bend.

I thought I might break her
With every ****** of my hips
But every single moan
Cried more from her lips.

And when the night was over
With my final blow
She let me explode inside
Further announcing that she's a **.

It wasn't until a few years later
When I saw her once more
That she had with her a child
Once that I'd never seen before.

And given by his looks
His hair color and eyes
That I knew he was mine
Especially with the sound of her sighs.

She told me she tried to tell me
But I was too strung out
So she never tried again
Figured it'd be forgotten about.

And she was right
I would have never known
Until I called her up for another ****
Only to have my mind blown.

So what do I do now?
I guess it doesn't matter
I'm simply just a ******
My life is all ready a tatter.

I don't need a child
I don't need her, as well
I only need that needle
So I guess I'm going to hell.

Life is puzzling
There's so many pieces
So little time
But you'll figure it out
And I'm sure, I truly believe, you will be fine.

Life is beautiful
There's so many colors
So little gray
You can paint the best picture
And I will place confidence in everything you say.

Life is complicated
There's so many lines
So little negative space
You can draw the best diagram
And I will admire what you create.

Life is exhilarating
There's so many ups and downs
So little plateaus
You can ride thehighest roller coaster
And I will never tell you any no's.

Life is so hot and yet so cold
There's so many different degrees
So little moments of numb
You can bathe in every temperature
And I will never let you go glum.

Life is so happy and yet so sad
There's so many different emotions
So little moments of bland
You can cry and laugh all at once
And I will never let go of your hand.

Life is so everything
There's so many things
So little moments of none
You can have and have not
And I will never let you run.

I'll be the push to your shove
The pull to your tug
The hate to your love
The love to your hate
The comfort to your hug
The partner in your fate.

We'll do this together.
Side by side.
Forever and ever.
Through every endeavor.

I miss you a lot today
I think it's probably the music
Or the sun setting in my yard
That makes me think of you.

Or maybe it's that I'm writing
About you again
And allowing inspirational thoughts of you
To move my hand like you always do.

Or maybe it's that
The rain is gone
And I know we could be out
Hiking the day away.

But I'll see you soon, love
It's silly I know
That you've only been gone
One day, today.

I can't help but want
To spend my time with you
It's something that comes
With the love in my heart.

And maybe that it's a lazy day
One I could share with you
In bed, lounging
Unable to part.

Some say it's only like this
For a little while
And that it goes away
After the new feeling is all spent.

But it's only progressing
Into a hopelessly romantic love
So I don't think I'll be ever asking
Where it all went.

I don't miss you sadly
I miss you in joy
In comfort of knowing
You're on my mind  al-ways.

And I am in yours
I don't doubt it the least
With little love notes
Of your adventure days.

It makes me smile to know
I don't have to be around
For you to enjoy life
For you to grow.

And It makes me laugh to know
You don't have to be around
For me to enjoy life
For me to grow, so

Have fun out there, babe
Exploring, expanding
As I pass the time
Being inspired by your "I love you's".

I'll see you when you get back
And kiss you gingerly
Hold you real close
And tell you that "I love you, too."

I miss you a lot today
It might be the music or the sun
Or that I know I can't see you
Even if I wanted to for fun.

I'm amazed, surprised even
He's so good to me
I don't even have any reason
To be anything but me.

In fact I feel more myself
He's such a good guy
I almost don't deserve him
But I won't say goodbye.

Everything he is, is perfect
Everything he does is, as well
I hope I'm good enough
I can't seem to tell.

He treats me better
Than anyone ever has before
Respect, with real love
I couldn't expect anything more.

I don't think he realizes
How loved I feel
When you go from being treated like trash
This is something so much more real.

I just hope I can match up
To the amazing way he showers me with love
I'll try my best, I'll bend over backwards
He must be a gift from above.

I truly believe this was meant to be
As corny as that sounds
Cliche-ly, I say, fate brought us together
Our loves knows no bounds.

At least not mine.

The ominous cloud
Looming on the horizon of your heart
Brings tears to my eyes
It's bittersweet and ****.

I wish, oh I wish
To send the cloud away
Like a Goddess of the Wind
I would blow it astray.

But every cloud has it's purpose
To let the rain fall in power
Though it's saddening at first
It cleanses, delightfully, even the wall-flower.

All I can do
Is provide the sunny rays
To warm the chill left behind
And brighten the darkness daze.

Though I wish to be a Wind Goddess
To stop the rain from falling
But I'd rather be of the After-Rain Sun
Instead of the forestalling.

Beautifully tangible in my mouth
I taste it like you see a rainbow
Swallowed like sunshine on my skin
Filling like a cotton candy cloud.

Don't you just wish
Sometimes
That you could speak your mind
Rattle out all your rhymes.

Let everyone know
What you're thinking about
How you really feel
Or why you wear that pout.

And don't you just wish
Every day
That you could sing your own song
Not caring about what anyone will say.

I think everyone
Has this desire
Inside our heart
Burning like a fire.

We should all let it out
Let the fire burn
And deal out all our words
Speaking what we yearn.

And we shouldn't be afraid
Of our own burning flame
We should let a little out
Letting fate control the game.

We all have a passion
Something hiding in our hearts
A secret we hold on to
Because we're afraid of what it might start.

But don't be afraid
I should listen to my own advice
And maybe you, or I, will speak out today
Without thinking twice.

Your eyes were like a sunflower
Comparable in beauty
With colors patterned
In the shape and design

Your eyes were like a sunflower
They drew me in
And swallowed me
Down into your heart where I'll be fine, I'll be fine

And my eyes were like a sunflower
Just like yours
But different in color
Contracting and eating your existence

This moment I cherish
Because your eyes hold so many secrets and
In that second of gaze connected by a line
I could see them all clearly without rose tint

I've taken off my pink hued glasses and
I see the world through clear thin glass
See it for what it is
Through your sunflower eyes

Fingerprints litter the glass
Making it difficult to see through to it's beauty
Tainted by past hands
Even without the rose applied

Will we ever see the world for what it is?
Maybe
If we look through sunflower eyes

Why aren't you smiling, Sun?
You shine, but you don't smile
In face you seem dimmer today
Would you like to talk for a while?

It seems you drag today
It seems you are down in a hole
You have nothing to say
But the truth has clearly taken a toll.

Can I make you smile today, Sun?
Will you shine on me?
Despite your dimness, you are still warm
Won't you talk to me?

Let me tell you a story of a girl
Whose life  was like no other
In the beginning
Everything was a struggle.

When times got tough
She would lay lifelessly
In the dark.

The tears she would cry
Would keep a steady flow
Until her emotional outbursts ran dry.

When these times came
She felt in her heart that
There was no cure.

But when they would pass
A new feeling
Would overwhelm her.

Then she would smile
And go on with her life.

This story I'm telling you
Is the story I live.

This is the story of my life
It's not like any other
Even with a new beginning
Every day is still a struggle.

But now when times get tough
I know it's just a routine
The pain still hurts..
But instead of looking at it like a sunset
I smile and it's instead a sunrise.

And every day is a new day
One that will easily pass by.

So this story I tell you
Is to show all of you
That even when it's tough
And even when it's rough
You can get through it.

Just remember this:
This could be the story of your life
It may not be like any other
Even with a fresh head
And a new beginning
Every day might still be a struggle.

But then when times get tough
It's just the other half of the circle
The pain may still hurt
But there's always that new sunrise.

Keep. On. Pushing!
It hurts, I know. But you'll make it.
The tears you cry, will eventually run dry.
And you'll smile, as I did.
Then the sun will rise high.

And even with every day a new struggle,
It's all part of the sunset and sunrise.

I think it's appropriate to say
That spending time apart
Is a good way
To bring upon a fresh start.

People hold onto ideas,
Opinions and thoughts.
And when they can't catch a break
They tie things into knots.

All these knots make complications
Which turn into frustrations
That create a complexity
In their current relations.

So when you do get a break
It's suddenly nice
To see someone again
Rather than standing on thin ice.

This is something I've discovered
But now been able to put into words
We shouldn't always be together
Like a flock of birds.

Our migrations should separate
Go their different ways
And maybe they'll cross paths again
Later in our days.

The time apart we should cherish
And learn what we need to know
To form new ideas, opinions and thoughts
And move on from our relation woe.

So I don't take distaste
In the distance that's been created
Our routes will cross again
When the frustrations have dissipated.

Take a look at me.
What do you see?
You see somebody,
But you see the girl I used to be.

I am not that little girl anymore,
The one with the tears always in her eyes.
I am not that little girl anymore,
The one with a mouth full of lies.

I am all grown up now,
Maybe not as old as you,
But I surely know,
How to run my life like I ought to.

You think you know me,
And my ways,
But you don’t know me,
I have changed since those days.

I know I used to lie and cry,
Scream and yell,
But that part of me has gone by,
And this what I have to tell.

I am stronger now,
Maybe not better than you,
But you can not tell me,
How I should be and what I should do.

I do not need to cry those tears anymore,
The ones you caused me to shed from your abuse.
You had picked a fight with me that turned in to a war,
But now I am calling a truce.

You are not better than me,
I am not better than you,
But I know I can be,
Someone without you trying to lead me through.

I have cut your noose from my throat,
And I just want to say:
That I have the hope,
And the power to walk away.

So good-bye, good-bye,
To the old girl I used to be,
To you and your tie,
That kept me from being me.

Now take a look at me,
What do you see?
I hope you don’t see that somebody,
That girl I used to be.

“The Carousel”
February 7th, 2014.
Valerie Viele

There is never a moment to stop
A real stop
A true stop
A sincere stop
When everything quits, halts, ceases and refrains

No matter where one stands
or what character one sits upon
Even if one is stationary
The carousel still revolves

One can walk this way
One can walk that way
One can lie down
but the carousel still revolves

Can one get off?
Can one get back on?
Can one make the choice?
There is never a moment to stop
and the carousel still revolves

SSK<3

What it really comes down to
Is that I have no guts
I lack the appropriate courage
From being crushed.

I fear the chance of failure
And it really holds me back
It's a pretty bad habit
One I can't seem to knack.

Maybe I don't really want to
It's actually really hard
I'm always afraid of the jump
Or asking for another card.

Taking the leap of faith
Isn't something I've ever done
And whenever I do something new
I grit my teeth, and want to run.

I don't know what my problem is
Or if it's a problem at all
But It's something I need to conquer
A climb over another wall.

A little piece of me
That I'm trying to decipher
It's something I've been working on
Something that doesn't bring me higher.

It brings me lower
I've figured this out
So now I've got to get passed it
And overcome the doubt.

And maybe one day
Some time soon
I'll have the courage
To try something new.

Try all the things
I've always wanted to do
Dance like no one is watching
And sing like I ought to.

But that time won't come easily
And it won't come very fast
Hopefully I can defeat this
And put it in my past.

Behind me. I want this behind me.