"Beauty"
A Unity in Variety

"Poetry"
A search for unity
In the
wild variety of nature

We crave what we can’t have,
what we are unable to obtain
— but why?
Why do we always want what other
people tell us we can’t have?
Why does it feel like a neverending cycle,
where you belittle the ones who do
like you and are belittled by the ones you pursue?
When is there a break in this cycle?

Despite that, his intentions were good
He fundamentally wished me well, even if it was his will itself which defeated him.
He protected me from many catastrophes, those coming from within me, as well as the blows delivered by the world.
This is impossible to forget, to ignore..
My life was never the same after he left.
Now that he has gone, and I don't know where.
Despite all of his greed and all his failure, I miss him and I wish I could just see him.

Without knowing his fate
he journeyed  across states
hoping that change will give him a taste
of his unwinding belief and faith.

Everyday happens to be him making hays
getting ready to accomplish in many ways
that one thing that kept him going
though the tides are low
but he believes that one day he will be at the top looking below

"Sit back and enjoy the ride"
has been the words he affirms with pride
knowing that he got someone on his side.

Challenges appears to be his speed bumps
getting discouraged to quit by people who are dumb
to understand that this journey of his
is not a competition nor delegated for trophies.

He recalled the story of the Isrealites crossing the divided sea
a journey to get to a promise land they foresee
giving him the motivation to withstand
even when no one ever seems to understand.
Love and happiness is what he hopes to find
as he lives in the beehive of his mind
fantasizing how beautiful it will be.

I have a problem; I have had it for quite some time. I
have a desire to speak to others about something but
that is not my problem. I have something to say, but
I am not sure others want to hear it; that is my
problem.
I have two questions: how will I know others will hear
me, and, how do I know they will listen.
I believe asking for permission to speak is contrary to
my constitutional right to speak freely. However,
asking to be heard is contrary to what I believe. For if
others do not believe as I, they will hear, if I am loud
enough, but will not listen.
I only listen to myself when I am alone. But it is
when I am alone that my desire to be heard is
overwhelms me. The words shout inside my mind. My
inner voice is loud and yet, it is only when I am quiet
that I hear.
When I write what I hear in my mind… ah now I have
something worth listening to. At least I think so. Why
else would I write?
I have written many words. At times they have been
merely strung together; fluid as water without a direct
course or meaning and unread by others. At times I
have attempted to make them concise, with a clear
and significant barney, and available to all. I have
more often succeeded at the prior while failing
successfully at the latter.
I wonder at my successes, my failures. The words I
hear when placed on paper sometimes, yes even to
me, sound different. I wonder then, when read by
others, how do they sound.
And when I am alone and listening; writing, reading,
changing the sound, the words… I struggle for
meaning. Not just for the words, but why I listen.
Why I write. I search for my truth and do battle with
thoughts of pain; for they cause me to become
depressed and still my hand.
But it is in the darkness of those moments that I
must write, if only to relieve the anguish. The battle
reveals my weakness and the words are, sometmes,
deceptive. I would be lying to you if I wrote I have
never lied to myself.
Before me is the path I follow
Behind me words now hollow
Perhaps best left unspoken
My spirit remains unbroken
As silent I remain
Writen words I shall retain

Calm,cool,and collected
Thats just the road I selected,
Taking it one day at a time,
Breaking my back for barely a dime,
Though Im still getting by,
With the sweat running down my face and into my eye,
Not having alot but just enough,
Portraying I have what it takes to be tough,
Complaining on selective occasions,
Motivation still strong from mental persuasions,
Thinking to myself Im only getting stronger,
By learning to cope with these obstacles longer,
People are always going to be talking,
Alongside the road of life Ill keep on walking,
Needing to realize Im all I have when everything else
tends to diminish,
Watching my own back until the finish,
Seeing that checkered flag wave,
As the others place me in my grave.

Shadows of humans are all around ..
- Filling the whole scene of your life ..
- Beautiful shadows . ugly shadows , scary shadows .
- Different shapes but they are in core the same ..
- You can find them all around you in the light ..
- Times of happiness healthiness and wealthiness .
- But they vanish in the dark ..
- Times of sadness and sickness .. times when you need
them more .
- You will stand alone there , no one to share ,, no one
to to cry on his shoulder ..
- No one to take your hand and help you to pass the
darkness ..
- They will appear again in light ..
- Just watch them come and go ..
- Watch them Hide and show ..
- So enlighten a candle in the dark , a fake smile on your
face ..
- To keep them close to you . .Just shadows on the wall ..
- Between the mess , the true one will appear ..
- Just keep looking and never loose hope...

Avoiding the reality is a tragedy ...
Hiding from the dreams, ambitions, and the needs ..
Deciding to live in the Dark cave of your disappoints ..
Believing that no one cares about you ..
Alone . Afraid .. Tired ..
Repeating the losses again and again ..
Just playing the sad notes on the life piano ...
Trying to play a happy song ..
But you remember again that you where Judged to stay in
your cave ..
Waiting for the savior ..
The one who will throw you the rope ..
The way out ..
Life giving or a Hanging rope ..
Just you don't know ..
But you will finish the suffering in both ..
You pray to be a life giving one .. cause you want to live
more ..
To see more .. To love more ..
It can be a cloud and it will pass ..
Or it could be blindness .. that will leave you lost all your
life ..
You should be strong .. fight to get your smile back ..
Playing a lovely song on the Piano and let the life sway
with you ..
Dance with the trees in a windy day ..
Run with the water in the rivers ..
Singing a beautiful anthem with the breeze ..
Fly with the Birds freely in the clear sky ..
I hope it work as you wish friend ..
To get what you want ..
And to loose that sadness ..
My advice to you dear .. Let it go ..
And wait ..
God will be there for you ..

" I Promised To Pretend "
- It is hard and I know..
- It is fire and I glow ..
- It is cold .. even more than snow ..
- Touching deep .. But I should move with the Flow ..
- I will pretend .. Till I know where to go ..
- Matter of months, years , decades It will pass slow ..
- Sad I will be .. but I'll pretend even though ..
- It will surround me .. a thorn in my jaw ..
- I will pretend .. and I will tolerate the saw ..
- Keeping life going on .. and trying to Enjoy the
rainbow ..
- I will pass above the fall of tears .. between the eye
and the brow ..
- Trying to rebel and break the law ..
- To carve my way throw ..
- Listening to our song instead the sounds of the
crow ..
- Getting all the memories back .. and the future
which I will draw ..
- My head high .. never get back low ..
- Making all my dreams true ..
- Moving ahead .. And forgetting about what I saw ..
- Fake characters ..and a hopeless show ..
- It is one life .. not two ..
- My believe in God everyday just grow ..
- Till he show me the way which I should undergo ..
- To that time I will pretend even SO ..

He greets everyone with a smile
A smile that spreads throughout the whole room
makes everyone happy inside.
He waves hello hesistantly, but surely
loving everyone he encounters,
giving them the caring they deserve.
He does nothing much for himself
but everything for everyone else.
He tries his hardest to make you happy
although he is not.
He cries when the world is cruel to him
but wipes them away and shows the world kindness.
Rolling up his sleeves
Cracking his knuckles
He is prepared for the challenges.

Each and every day
its almost the same
locked away for hours with
no one there to blame

secluded isolation
escape to cyber space
retiring from reality
with no one in my face

running on, no time frame
every evening, every morn
the ridicule of others
harassment, even scorn

despondent transposition
the endless, constant pain
each day, another challenge
sun streaked sky without rain

the dogs are major comfort
the cats are here and there
the rabbit loves his clover
the birds, they just don't care

writing for no reason
except to pass the time
elusive comprehension
for those without a rhyme

single, tranquil moment
illusionary thought
Angel on my shoulder
things that cant be bought

retiring from the world
full of stress and hate
paying tax to those, with
too much on their plate

imagination wandering
country, city, slums
counting up the hours
until the reaper comes

time, it does escape me
I really must admit
If you want opinion
no one gives a ****

Stepping back looking at my life and wondering,
Why have I wasted the past three years blundering,
Being to busy to think,
Like am muting my mind out with a drink.
Seeing that even in my life there is a little bit of
truth,
A drunken *** is not who I really am,
Time to start caring about my life and giving a ****,
Studying and reading books an awful lot,
Making me be the friend that most people blot
Except for a certain few,
Reason being we share the same point of view,
Learning the truth of the government and living in Cyber nation,
Able to read each others mind without hesitation,
To all my friends from the past,
Im bottling up them memories,
To the few that I have unexpended,
A helping hand will always be extended,
Knowing I’ll always have ya’ll to stand by,
The reason being we ride together.

Bottled up inside
Are the things I never said,
The feelings that I hide,
The lines you never read

You can see it in my eyes,
Read it on my face,
Trapped inside are lies,
Of the past I can't replace

With memories that linger,
And won't seem to go away,
Why can't I be happier?
Today’s a brand new day

Yesterdays are over
Even though the hurting is not,
Nothing lasts forever,
I must cherish what I've got

Don't take my love for granted,
For soon it will be gone,
All you've ever wanted,
Of the love you thought you won

The feelings I have now
Won’t disappear overnight,
But somehow, someway everything will be alright

I'm leaving now
To slay the foe
Fight my battles
High and low

I'm leaving parents
Hear me go
Please wish me luck today

I've grown my wings, I want to fly
Seize my victories where they lie
I'm going guys, but please don't cry
Just let me find my way

I want to see, and touch, and hear,
Though there are dangers, thoughts, and fears,
I'll smile my smiles, and wipe my tears
Please let me speak my say

I'm off to find, my world, my dreams,
Carve my niche, sew my seams
Remember as I sail my seas,
I'll love you all the way