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avery Mar 18
There's nothing better than an emotional band.
when they knock themselves over with the words they wrote for the people they love or hate.
what drives that?
who do we think we are? writing the same things over and over until our hands bleed.

The new year is too cold for me
and if i'm honest I don't know if i'll last the winter.
I feel like i'm lost in the woods,
not a figurative feeling, but I am drudging through the snow
on my way somewhere I don't know how to get to.

In more recent news, I have lasted the winter
and i'm doing great. so ill include something a wrote the last time we made it out if winter, because sometimes it helps.

Theres Like an Actual Euphoria
Comes with finding it again
Like taking off pounds of weight
Diving into a cold pool
Or a hot one
Reaching the top of a tree
Finishing a book
Jumping off a high rock
Letting go of your air
Giving the reins to someone else
The relief is indescribable
I long for it
It’s all going to be ok
avery Mar 18
I wear my watch
on the inside of my wrist,
for the time is mine alone.
avery Mar 18
how many times do we write about unrequited love?
before it makes sense?
before we’re honest with each other about it
how many times can i bottle the same feeling up and puke it on a piece of paper
it feels like an endless game that i will never learned how to play
let alone beat
someone’s bound to fix the game, it took all my quarters and the bartender doesn’t have any more
i’m aching to get my name on the board
avery Feb 4
i found a new word let’s talk about it
I read somewhere that an empire of dirt needs a caretaker
the word means a contemplation of dust. The idea that dust was once something that it came from somewhere that it could be any number of things or all things or nothing.
in the same reading it says it’s an understanding not of what’s been lost, or the transience of things, but of how the past persists in the present.
how does the past persist in the present?through literature? art? at some point everything returns to what it once was. dust. things blown in the wind, travel between places like money used over and over and over again until its value is no longer in its face and itself turns into dust.
we’re all dust aren’t we? we are dust  that talks, shares, creates, reproduces, kills, loves, hates.
the contemplation of dust reminds me of this obsession with the past that comes with ignorance in the present. thinking too hard about the dust that we will become clouds your mind from experiencing the dust that we are right now.
in some kind of conclusion, I will collect things before they come to dust, I will be the caretaker for the empire of it. I will cherish it, talk about it, share it, make something new out of it, so that it has a longer life than it once did.
avery Feb 3
breathe deeply
settle, pause
i am a crack in the pavement
filled in beautiful rocks and remembered by kids who walk to school past me
i am an old scroll revealing to the wandering alchemist where she is supposed to be
i am a ceiling fan that rattles
i am a bird who starts yelling way too early
i am a used bookstore that smells like dog eared corners and yellow pages
i’m a great dog
i am your worst enemy and your favorite lover
i **** flies but not spiders
i hate dismissal
i see you
avery Dec 2024
the little indent on my finger
on my ******* right above the third knuckle on my right hand
from my pen
it reappears when i’m writing again
avery Nov 2024
i want him to touch me in places that’s going to make my skin burn

pride goeth before the fall

not a dry eye in the house
was writing and some quotes that were better
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