Excavate me
Reach inside and dig
Find out what it is that you yearn for
Take it out and we can look at it
Wonder and study obsess over
I have no idea where it came from

Drowning in my brain
It’s on fire
It’s suffocating
It’s something I can’t explain
It’s something I’ve set for myself
These expectations
These rules
They’re mine
I’m the only one not following
Crushed by the size of the world
By the options
By the fear
The fear of it all
I’ll stop when I can’t cry myself to sleep anymore
When the world doesn’t try and pull me limb from limb
When the bubble pops
When I can see clearly
When my food doesn’t all taste the same
And I can sleep soundly
And I have self control
When I can lift it,
When I’m strong enough to roll the boulder out of the way
God gave you what you could handle

Destiny stays undecided until decided
Birds are born and then they are taught to survive, then thrown to the wind for finding food and a mate, building a home and then dying
Trees are born from the mother tree and grown and stand, consistently forever until someone decides they need that tree gone or the tree just lives forever.
As people, a thousand purposes could not satisfy even the smallest of aspirations

been sprouting prose for years, and every once in a while I get sick of it.
so in layman's terms,
fricking everything *****, but it doesn't
think about everything, but not too much, you'll die.
think about the little things, deeply, immerse yourself, and **** depression, house arrest for your brain that only the sun will release you from.
and **** anxiety, that stuff is nervousness for your daily life,
just excitement buckling over into space
and leaving it up to the sky, the stars, or aligning yourself with the sand, and then multiply, you are strong in numbers

anywhere i have to,
but its funny, the how is not really an issue, there’s so many methods to get where i must go.
however,

what is unknown to me that i must find the nature of, that i do not know
which is obvious, because it is unknown (the definition being that that is not known.)

in simpler terms, to find out all the things, i must start somewhere.
starting happens to be an issue, because of the lack of security that comes with the unknown

every time i look up, it feels like looking down into an abyss. which is true, because stars are down and the universe is all around.
the universe even on the planet is so much bigger than i could even imagine, all the specifics are so large its hard to even imagine what spending all the of time i have on earth doing.

I throw my drugs away, when they find a cure for pain

that's actually really beautiful
beautiful
beautiful
how long do you think we can say that.
before we have to move?
elongated
heavy
burdensome*
burdensome be that of anything that comes up in daily life.
anything that punctures my will or my drive
in my floruit with nothing at the end
I'm writing because its the only thing I know how to do
hardly
**** lol

Dust on my finger
Don’t lick it, that would be grosser
Grosser than the dust and fingernails on the floor
Than smoking a cigarette on the balcony
The balcony
Unfinished projects live there
I try not to look at them when I’ve decided now isn’t the time
For the last 6 months
Now isn’t the time
Always time for something new though?
I’d say