I dreamt you last night,
And since I woke up,  
I've been trapped in that dream,
We were in a field,
Your head resting on lush green grass,
My head resting on you,
You were reading a book,
I was running my fingers through your hair,
For once, both at peace,
And I said, "come, let's go home",
And even in the dream,
You remained silent

Become, and unbecome,
In the altar of love,
Demolish knowledge,
Be a canvas, a sponge,
Let go of need,
Grab hope, for thy beloved,
And thy beloved alone,
Let go of the 'I' and 'you',
Reflect on the non duality,
If you really love,
Do not cheapen the emotion,
Become, and unbecome

Disparity is a sad thing,
While one kid is forced to eat,
Another is forced to find leftovers to fill his vacuum stomach,
While one refuses to study,
Another longs a book, or probably doesn't know what it is,
And this breaks my heart and makes me cry,
And I tell myself to stop being so ******* sensitive

Today is about missing you,
About missing your spicy fresh perfume, that I'd begun to love,
About missing your plump fat nose, that I never managed to pinch,
About missing your intense and sometimes senseless banter, that I'd never get enough of,
About missing your attempts to reduce the amount of coffee I drink, that I unwillingly adhered to,
About missing the quarter piece of a jam toast, that you always saved for me,
About missing the way you calmed me down, when we faced storms together,
About missing how you took note of everything, a new hair clip, that I knew you'd like on me,
About missing your watch, which you never took off, because of what it meant to you,
About missing your stories, and the zest with which you narrated them,
About missing your photography, how you captured my best and worst moments, when I wasn't looking,
About missing our shared love for yogurt drinks, and how we analysed each one we drank,
About missing how you screamt 'Mogu Mogu' when you found your favourite drink, in my favourite café,
About missing your big hands, that were strong and gentle at the same time,
About missing those few drives with you, talking about everything and nothing,
About missing how you surprised me on my birthday, with chocolates and a scarf, that feels warmer than any other,
About missing your silly quirks, like carrying your backpack around everywhere, which only I understood,
Today is about missing you

why do you wait until i've fallen
to try to hold me up?
why to you wait until i'm broken
to try to hold me together?
why do you only meet my eyes
when they're swollen and red?
is that when i'm worth noticing,
when my heart is all but dead?

I tried to write a poem on how I feel right now,
And all I could scribble was a paraphrased House quote,
*I feel nothing. And it doesn't feel great