Tired of this person I've become,
Not what I intended to be
23 years of being her,
And look what it's done to me
A reflection of everyone that touches my heart,
With no true identity of my own,
A fruitless, strong barked, withered leaved tree,
Of seeds the grim reaper must have sown
I feel shallow, and vacant,
I feel old, but still nascent
With the Midas touch of crap,
I destroy everything I touch,
I appease the people I hate,
And hurt the ones I love much!
Careful where you stand,
Quicksand is potent here,
Make a decent life of yourself,
Don't let me come near

I'm lost,
In all the books I read,
In all the people I meet,
In all the songs I hear,
In all the quotes I save,
In all the pictures I take,
In all the efforts I make

I'm lost,
Desperately searching,
For an answer,
For a purpose,
For a life,
For myself

I'm lost,
Drowned by diktats,
And a disregard of them,
Drowned by the urge to please,
And by the conflict to not

I'm lost,
And until I find myself,
I'll remain lost,
In a variable you.

Let the light inside you shine bright,
Illuminating the darkness outside -
Which would otherwise consume you raw

What did I do to deserve your hate?
I convince myself that's a language of love too;
You've been spoken to in that language for a long time now,
Perhaps, that's the reason,
Being a lover yourself,
You still resent the language of my love

I keep tugging your legs,
They keep kicking me off

At the desperate hour,
Nothing can matter
When the brakes are being pulled,
But you've already accelerated beyond control
Who will you pray to?
When your God is laughing in your face;
Crying at his reality;
Damning your efforts
Irrespective of intent,
You fueled the fire you wanted put out
What will you do then?