A letter to myself:

The only way to find yourself is through positive things, dance, sing, learn to play an instrument, put your thoughts into words and make them beautiful. Your entire life is determined by your mind set. Think beautifully, be kind, forgive, forget, love everyone, eliminate the negative and focus on the positive. Each and every single one of us is searching for fulfillment, and in that you must cleanse yourself of negativity. Don’t hold grudges, love your enemies, leave that guy, spend time in nature, inhale the good, and exhale the bad. In this, I promise you will love yourself.  Take care of yourself, take care of your loved ones, and once you have completed all of this, take care of this world.

it’s difficult to understand and feel the pain of someone else and i think that’s where relationships go wrong because you can’t feel someone else’s heart. you can’t feel someone else’s hurt. you can’t feel the way their throat closes and their eyes well up at the thought of losing you. you can’t feel the way they notice the slight changes in behaviour and how they wonder where they went wrong. you’ll never be able to feel the anxiety that rises up in the pits of their stomach when they feel distance. i think that’s the fault in creation, we can all feel ourselves but we will never be able to feel anyone else. and that’s the issue

Tell me about your childhood and the people who shaped you, tell me about your family and how you hate your uncle who doesn't stop talking, tell me about your past lovers that have always ****** you over so I can remind you that I will never hurt you, tell me about how you love the way the birds sing in the morning, tell me about the times you had with your grandmother and how much you miss her so I can kiss you until you forget, tell me about that song you love, tell me about your goals, tell me about your aspirations, your dreams and your plans, please just tell me so I can fall in love with you again every second.

i thought that i would be better left on my own.
your touch consumes my soul in hopes for it to be full again
time isnt so simple
the heart doesnt operate as planned
people come and go
so out of our control
people arent so simple
you told me youd never leave
until one day i woke up to find you gone
letting go isnt so simple
you told me you loved me

*love, isnt so simple.

in the grand scheme of things,
it doesn't come down to how long you have loved someone,
it comes down to who waited to be loved in return.

ive loved you since forever,
and forever ever since.

his life was admirable.
you could tell what he wanted in life and what he wanted was so bold he couldn't quite reach it,
just as he could not reach the top shelf at the age of 6 years old.

at 6 years old he was adventurous and curious.
realizing that he could climb on his kitchen counter and take whatever he needed from the top shelf which he would do as he pleased.



at 17 years old he reached for my heart on the top shelf.
at 17 years old he climbed on the counter of my soul and took my heart.
which he did as he pleased.


at 17 years old i left my heart on the bottom shelf in reach.
so easily taken and put back but always missing something when returned.



at 17 years old my heart was left on his top shelf.



at 17 years old my heart was left to be stabbed by the other hearts which were taken and returned in time.


at 17 years old, my kitchen was empty.

Staying up later than anyone else
means you get to eat whatever, and however you want,
it means you can think however you want,
you can do whatever you want,
you can literally be whoever you want to be when you stay up late,
because nobody can stop the way you position yourself in life late at night.