it all started with hi
just one word, two letters
i never, in that moment, thought you'd mean this much to me
never
but, surprises are always falling from the sky
i fell for you
and still to this day, i regret it
regret falling in love with you
but, silly me
how i turned out like this
the broken, useless, unwanted girl
but you never knew
because i wasn't important to you, she was
you basically showed me
that someone like I, cannot be loved


-j

i saw you with her
my heart shattered,
just when it was being fixed
i saw the way you looked at her
her eyes were full of joy
i saw the way you held her hand
you didn't want to let go
i saw the way you talked to her
as if you wanted to spend all your time with her
i saw the way you kissed her
like it would be your last day seeing her

i saw

-j

it's always me
always the broken one,
the unloved one,
the overly jealous girl.
the selfish one,
wanting you entirely to me
and it kills me
because i can't have you the way that i want
so i have to by each day,
missing you, wanting you
and it hurts because you were a chapter in my story,
but i was just merely a line in yours

its just unexplainable
the feeling, i have for you
i still don't even know what it is about you,
that makes me want to stay around for a while
i miss you
every day, and i am just hoping, that maybe
you miss me too
but who am i kidding,
im nothing special to you
i wont ever be
and that kills me inside,
seeing you smile,
which oh, is so beautiful..
but i know, that your happiness is not because of me.
but there comes a point
where i have to let go of you
and i guess thats the fall in love
and hopefully one day,
ill be fixed
again