mama always
said
beauty
is
pain
and there ain't
nothing prettier
than watching
bruises
bloom.

she planted
her hopes
where another's
dreams
already lay
and watched
as her future
withered
away.

i feel *****
when i pray
for my own sake
like god's wondering
how i got so selfish- didn't
he program me better than to be
on my knees, begging the heavens
for the strength to
put down a
blade?