As I lay here in bed my only thought is you. Hoping, just hoping that you're thinking about me too I just want to text you and tell you how I feel. But rejection is a motherfcker , a feeling too real. So I suppress my feelings and a friend ill stay because I don't want to be the one to scare you away. Deep down wishing you felt the same ,but I know you don't , probably never will ...so am I to bla...me ? For putting myself in a situation when theres nothing to gain. Wishful thinking got me here. Being optimistic got me here. Being naive got me here. The words " I want you" I've been longing to hear. Your sweetest touch I've been dying to feel. When I'm not with you I want your near, I know we can never be so why am I still here ? Maybe I might just love you ,something I fear I know nothing can never come of it, so why am I still here ?

Each day something brings me closer to you Just in case we don’t work out I decided to send this ode to you My life has new found meaning since my latest acquaintance with you & with all I’ve been thru its truly a blessing to have met someone like you I know it’s kind of early but at the same time it’s kind of late We’ve had our chances before but I guess back then it was too much to contemplate Imagine where we’d be if we just tried  no more tears falling down from your eyes Because in my eyes you deserve so much more You’re beautiful beyond physicality  If we ever lost touch it would sadden me You deserve the little things that would put a smile on your face I shouldn’t have to tell you I want to be the person to do so A little cliché but hey you can’t blame me for trying if I said I didn’t  Care for you I’d be lying. I aspire to be all that you desire I’ll do whatever is required whatever you want whatever you need Ill acquire. What would it take to be the person you called after a long day the only person you wanted to wash your sorrow away The first person you text before the sun rise and the Last before closed your eyes at night I just want to be everything to you.

You know what i want....more than anything? is to hear the words "Babe,you are all i need" from the lips of that special human being.I want that feeling of what is it...... "meant to be?" ..... i want to tell you i love you...you know like...past the moon. I want your lips on mine and i cant lie.... i want them soon. I'll make love to you everynight as if it were our honeymoon and you can bet while im making love to you.... im playing your favorite tune......you see the miles id walk to meet the person that'll walk for me are ...infinity... but you know i have that feeling...true love doesnt exist...people are so quick to ....love and forget...that they often forget...something so delicate...Why are we here? you see i'll never give up on love....why? because it never gave up on me and i know for a fact that there is someone out there made just for me and if i have to wait i'll wait for eternity because i know for a fact that there is someone out there waiting for me !!

Sometimes I wonder .... where we went wrong...where do we find the missing lyrics to our song...? I met you so quickly....and just as such...You were gone...we still keep in touch...But somehow to me it doesn't seem like much. Deep down I still feel there is something between us could it just be an aesthetic lust? Could I be obsessing over something I should've left in the dust? I hit you up from time to time but it feels like that could never be enough. What do you need from me? Temporary insanity. Pride, ego, fear of rejection all in play. Guess I'm just waiting for the day...When you say... Hey...can we start over?

I was literally laughing as I wrote this poem #enjoy

I anticipated your arrival all night long, patiently waiting as I listened to love songs. Visions in my head of how the night would come along. Nervous as hell, but I had to stay strong. So i drank a glass of wine couldve possibly been two , knowing you had no idea of what we were about to get into. Or maybe you did... and wanted me to think ...other wise. Playing your part... angel In disguise. I get the text I was waiting for my heart started racing. I ran to the door you would've thought I was racing. In you walked and my world stood still.. I got chills... this was real...a new feel. The opportunity I was waiting for finally presented itself I had to take advantage ..if I should say so myself..... When my nerves calmed down it was time to make a move, afraid you would stop me, but I had to do what I had to do. Slowly I kissed you all over your body with Keith sweat playing in the background ... who can love you like me? ...NOBODY! Then I asked if you wanted me to stop... A rhetorical question.... You said no ...ooowee what a blessing. Accepted the Invitation for your information this was no fabrication but a lady doesn't kiss and tell so ill leave the rest up to your interpretation ...use your imagination!

You tell me you want me
I can't see why
You tell me you love me
I can't see why
You tell me you need me
I can't see why
You tell me I'm beautiful
I can't see why
You tell me it's over
I can't see why
You tell me I can't expect anyone else to love me until I learn to love myself
I begin to cry....

Why Cant You Need Me The Way I Need You?
Make my Every Dream Come True!
Why Cant You Think Of Me The Way I Think Of You?
Care For Me The Way I Care For You?
My Happiness Doesnt Matter When It Comes To You
Why Do I Allow You To Have This Power Over Me?
Control My Moods And Thoughts Without Even Trying
& If I Said You Didnt I'd Be Lying !...
The Things I'd Give To Be Where You Are
Until Then I Guess I'll Just Be Wishing On A Star
In Hopes That One Day You'd Come To Me And Say
That Im All You Desire And For My Heart You'd Do All Thats Required
& That You Aspire To Be All I Desire !

You say you have moved on
So why do you still haunt me?
Thoughts of happiness and laughter
Happiness and laughter without ME
I tell myself im over you
so why do you still haunt me
I dont hit you up like i use to
does this mean im over you?
i dont dream of you like i use to
does this mean im over you?
sometimes i feel i'll NEVER be over you
what must i do what must i do  to be over you?!!
Sad to say but i still love you
and what angers me the most is i'll never stop
you'll forever be a part of me....but apart from me
and it bothers me
stuck in my head like a sweet sweet melody.
For Eternity.

You ever love someone so deeply and then when it was all over asked yourself... why did i even love that person??? Like there wasn’t MUCH for you to love in the first place? They didn’t treat you the way you deserved to be treated. You compromised your happiness a lot for the sake of theirs. You just took the idea of loving someone and ran with it.  Caught up knowing it wasn’t right nor was it a healthy situation but you insisted and ignored all the signs that were in front of you. The feeling of having someone brought joy to you despite the pain they were causing you. The feeling of having a requited love made the pain and tears worth it.  You didn’t want to throw it all away because you loved that person. You didn’t let go, knowing you should, because you hated the idea of starting over. You hated the idea of getting to know and learning a whole other person. If you loved once, you can love again. Don’t be afraid to let others in, assuming things will be the same. Each person brings something new to the table. You can’t be afraid to fail. Always remember never chalk it up to a failure but instead a lesson learned. There is life after love and guess what that life consists of….MORE LOVE!