Nothing good ever comes from drowning.

It hurts.

It's painful.

It's too strong.

It all comes crashing down

down

down.

And it hurts.

It's hard to breathe.

I’m drowning.

Drowning in the memories.

Nothing good ever comes from drowning.

…

They catch me.

Whisper to me.

I cling to their voices, the lifeboat holding me up.

Everything else fades away.

Nothing good ever comes from drowning.

Except for this.

Though it may hurt.

Though it may be painful.

Though it may be too strong.

They are there for me.

My lifeboat.

Holding me up when I can’t do it myself.

Helping me.

Guiding me out.

Nothing good ever comes from drowning.

…

I am never always drowning.

I sit upon my castle of old
built far before my time
I walk these halls and use these thrones
yet do not know the ones beyond
they stalk me so and watch me cold
leaving fragile notes of ice
I find their whispers and past rules
far more certain than my doom
I wish for more and yet for less
torn between the worlds they live
Their guidance strong and knowledge large
I pray for over and over
These castle walls have held them close
protecting them for their time
Yet still I find these walls of mine
far too large an armour feared
These labyrinths of rooms and doors
leading me through my wrongs
they call to me pulling me
through the ropes chaining me
Their shouts are loud and now I know
through them I am a girl of gold
Soon to shine with light beyond
the shimmering that holds them down
Freeing them I will be
upon discovering my true tree
The tree so strong and larger than life
will mirror who I’ll find myself
This girl of gold I will be
in days so soon they cannot see
what will happen and who will fall
but I will stand righteous and tall.

Mushrooms tall and mushrooms small
Growing from my garden
I watch them so
Above my dough
A bread of dreams fulfilled
I wonder though the woods that grow
From the mushrooms many
The mushrooms steal all my light
Preventing me my act of fight
These mushrooms tall and mushrooms small
Clutter the garden plenty
I cut them down
Yet still they’ve grown
Tall and standing mighty
I wish for weeds
That will choke
Bringing them upon the rake
I swing at them with all my strength
Condemning them to fiery death
But more they grow
Consume me so
My self is gone
I am we
And now we dine with people three.

Jupiter
The silent guardian
Ruler of the skies
Named after our mythology
Designed to protect us
If it protects us now
Why did it fail before?
Why did the dinosaurs die?
The asteroid
Hurtling towards Earth
Carving into the crust
Leaving its mark
Killing thousands of species
Why?
How did Jupiter not notice?
How did Jupiter not save them?
It paved the way for us to flourish
But perhaps we would’ve flourished anyway
If Jupiter did its job
Then species wouldn’t be extinct
Wouldn’t lose parts of themselves
Then be forced to contort
Fit the box
Of what is deemed as correct
Wouldn’t be forced to confine themselves
In pretty lies and fake faces
Wouldn’t be forced to hide
Pretend that everything is ok
That the loss didn’t impact them
That the species that came later
Did not hurt them
With their ‘help’
Forcing them to tell the new ones
The stories over and over
Of the asteroid
The failed protector
Who never noticed
The pain that came
And the hidden truths
Jupiter is a protector no longer
Not to me.