i think that
poems about love
and our feelings
for other people
mostly *****
but we are willing
to see it as beautiful
because we have to see
our pain
or our happiness
reflected on others
otherwise we can't understand it
as real
we see ourselves on others
and identify a certain feeling
to feel complete
or accepted
somehow

i dont think of you as much as i used to
but i do think enough to still feel it hurting
i am just patiently waiting
for the day
that i will
think of you
with sorrow
for the last time

i never ever liked phone calls
but when you were here
and my phone rang
i used to shiver
wishing it was you
and smile
now you are gone
when my phone rings
i still shiver
but praying to god
begging
please
it is not you

not again

not anymore

i did all i could
to seem calm

talk slowly
move smooth
look away

you touched me
****, i was shaking

"****, it's so ******* cold"

when she had nowhere to go
she came here and slept in my bed
just before it all started

but i was the only one
who built a home

and my home walked away

i wanted you to tell me about the first time that you saw the sea
how is your sister going and if your piercing is okay
i wanted you to tell me that today you drank a very bad coffee or about the last time you saw someone crying
i wanted you to tell me about the last movie you saw and that today you took a different bus to go to work
i wanted you to tell me that you forgot your coat at your grandma's house and i wanted you to tell me how late you woke up today
i wanted you to tell me that you downloaded a very nice game for us to play together and that you went to a store just to look at yourself in the mirror and i wanted you to tell me how much you want to buy some new mugs online
i wanted you to call me anytime to tell me anything
anything you want: i swear i would be listen close, always. because i care so much.
i wish i was the person who you sees at the end of the day and talks about every little insignificant thing that happend. and over again.

i wanted you to tell me that you bought some beer and so we could drink and i could kiss you and taste the alcohol in your tongue again
and spend the rest of the universe with you, on your bed. (again



i really miss us)

there is no good way to say
i'm leaving you

but it is worse when you don't