unashamedlyashley

unashamedlyashley Nov 2012

lead me not by the way side mama
lead me to the meadows with grass stretching high as gravity permits
lead me not to my heritage where i am reminded of antiquated desires now laid to dust
lead me to the attic of your existence where all the secrets lie
lead me not to the desert for i know the terrain well
lead me to the rolling hills, where my youth finds freedom
for one day all this will be gone and i to another memory
and we will reverse the order and i will lead you on.

unashamedlyashley Nov 2012

I am my father's daughter.

And he turns to me in the voice of an elder and says " hierarchy of the dichotomy of good in evil is not to be thought of lightly , you don't know what you ask, its not that simple."*

You sir forget what you once knew, you love not who you loved back then,
you forgot that veils been broken and the truth is that simple.
im sorry you've forgotten the overwhelming feeling of love in your creators arms
but i have not forgotten and i pray i never will
i grapple with your inability to love,
did you not know your maker
were you taught so much of the *LAW you learned to be as everyone becomes
apart of the dust
another faker
life cant be computed in binary supposition however of this i know.

unashamedlyashley Nov 2012

ha/lf.

and here is the half ring
to honor our half engagement
here is the half birthday
that i half arrived at
here's half the money to give you a ride home
here's half the water bill
half this salad
half the bottle
half a fork
half a napkin to wipe off half your face
half the equation
half the notes on the passion
half the poetry cluttering the desk half the time spent looking
half the strings you need to play
and here's the cake to honor that half birthday
here's the half car
you half use to work half way

but what can i do with half a ring i cant put it on my finger, i cant have it to display
and whats the point of a half cake when my family is invited to dinner,
and a salad almost gone to be eaten with an only two prong fork
only one sided story doesn't make for much a tale and you could be poor and give more
ask willie, who roams 55th street, ask him about having nothing, but his name and he remembers it
some they forget, but he remembers what others forget and he's still living
and he hasn't quit.

unashamedlyashley Nov 2012

Un Poco

"Just a Little"**
__________________
and you sir, stir such memories ,
memories long forgotten
dormant once
but now alive and resurrected
and i cant help but remember you,
your memories pull me out of this grave i dug
and i dance smiling and you remembering,
our dance,
you smelled of exotic things,
and i was taken by your very essence
you reeked of forbidden sexuality
you bid me stay awhile as you spoke to me in your native tongue
and innocence my ever constant master
ask me again, now later, separated by time, by space, by oceans, and expirences
o and the temptation would be ever so high
come away with me you ask and i remember
and the memories are big,
but i play not the part i played then and you now are
forever gone
i wish to be your siren to the shore
i won't **** you i swear,
but you will come again and often wanting more
more time to spend with your once forgotten memory

unashamedlyashley Nov 2012

flagrant youth

you slaughter them
one
by one
and you're a modern day miracle
so indie you hurt
so scene
your a cut out
carbon copy of
a written down will
forgotten and then remembered
you smile but your teeth stained with red don't smile back
and it is as it should be
because its Gods will right?
you forget darling what you once knew,
and i the defender assigned to your case
cant block out the screams of your wayward youth
and its you RIGHT
its YOUR choice,
and i could have told you that
freedom
isn't just in the choice,
you look at it like its always been right
but i remember
silent prays
uttered in basements
long left to the underground
and i cant but help think
that all the memories
you hold so close have been replaced with
what should have been
and its easy too do
his boxes of memories could have gotten mixed up with yours
its easy to do,
late nights
and muted lines
whats yours is mine
but you forgot your broken
you forgot your incomplete
you forgot who created you
don't you remember that call
the stirring of the spirit
how long will you mute the lines
don't you know your just watering down the color.
i don't know you now
and i didn't really know you then
but somehow i still see you
knowing its just the ghost of who you used to be.
the swing set by your house still doesn't swing

unashamedlyashley Nov 2012

my friend kinley

Thursday, December 10, 2009

she's growing
growing up right before my eyes
and its no surprise im growing too
i thought id be over this, but that's the first step
and i cant.

her feet are broken, and she cannot swim.
and how do i make her see it's okay to be,
tell me how
when the greats, o they have forgotten
and they have long sunk to the bottom
and the saints they have been demoralized
they know not the scent of their own blood
but kinley its okay to be
you are not forgotten
and you WILL NOT sink to the bottom
hold my hand and we will stand,
who will make a stand?
and we will shout to the sheep who thought it was better to be bought then free
kinley just you and me.

this pen and paper reap the paralyzing emotion i know too well
but i am preparing for a better tomorrow
just you and me we will stand
take back whats ours by our birth right
and i am a princess longing for a king
who just really wants to be a queen
and you know what i mean
kinley just you and me
i have short legs but i walk
you have a crooked mouth but you talk
and i want you to know even the barbies perched so high cant utter a word
and the cant dance this crooked dance
they cant whoop and holler
kinley we'll make it honest we can.

This poem is about:
its about hope,and keeping on because we can. we have the power because we ARE loved,
no matter what they say about us we are loved
and we can make it.
Its about having what we see as disabilities and god conquering our fears of not being enough or doing enough. That Jesus never could save barbie because she though she was infallible. but the ***** was saved and the blind man and the harlot, the foreigner, the doubter, the murderer, the thief, the executor, the dying, and the dead, that even then we still have HOPE.Even then we still are LOVED.

unashamedlyashley Nov 2012

wasted.

November 18 - Tuesday

Wasted

I know it's true

you are in that place

between time and space

and it scares me to know

i can't reach you there

now that you've gone.

"she's gone gone gone"...

another moment,

stolen.

another moment,

taken.

and another chance thrown down

"Drink a little more, chug another down

till this pain you feel drowns"

(halting she whispers in the thin air )

and i just want something permanent something secure...

and each drop

is just another step

on a one way street , and i dead end alley

step.step.

drip.drip.

it becomes the same.

married in unison to the pain

you continue on getting so far away

arms outreached you walk with a vengeance against you

drip. drip.

unreachable things become just another unspeakable

i may never say this and you remember it

You are so focused on the WASTING

and i yell to you as you walk this one way street alone

(whispering she says) but i love you please please

make it home .

* *the empty bottle you climbed into isn't the place you belong though it's familiar it's wrong