I break her down with my consistency

Small pieces break… it would heal better if it were just one big wound

I break her down…

And can’t you be stronger than me for once.

Your letting me down and all i have is this fight

And all i can do is push these walls that threaten my existence.

    Say no to me and mean it,

Stop giving into my will.

I cant let up I'm driven  with this need

This obsession has taken my possessions and traded them for fools gold

And I'm left broken and I'm fighting in all the wrong battles and in all the wrong wars

What is it I'm fighting for?

But atleast you know id fight for you till the last breath id be fighting

I remember when you said no

to me and meant it.

But now you never mean it

And i wish you would get over your fears because your what i need

    Cant you be what i need?

hungry


just a glance

a touch to my fingers

a conversation on the porch

a look across  a noisy room

a note left behind

a inquiring text about the day before

a "i've missed you" followed by

a hug without space that lasted days

an admission of need

  or the the things you fear

poetry written in the dark

evidence of love marks

im famished for you love dear

where did you go?

it begins again

and im trying so hard to swim and

i am doing what i know

trying so hard to be what they need of me

and i strap it all down the insecurities

processing them in stolen moments

few and far between and im running the circles in my cage

im i drowning or is this whats its supposed to be

stolen moments...



    " and i'd be lying if i ran away.."

    

    

and maybe thats what i need to do

to save the rest of me

and every day i am reminded of what im not

and i am trying but that matters not

by Ashley Marie Ohmer on Tuesday, May 22, 2012 at 8:08pm ·

And she says “I know of heart break

I have lived life in the home of broken dreams”

And you seek forgiveness from a grace forsaken

consumed with memories of ghost long tied as anchors on this hollowed out heart.

And you smash open opportunity,

like it’s another ****, another pill to swallow

just like another lover you left long ago

but still remember.

you keep the disease thinking it’s the cure

sending those that save packing

and you look for love at the end of a whiskey bottle promising yourself one day you’d end the pain

and you no longer distinguish the devil longing only for another tool to use

and you chase your highs like the ghosts at your door

and you’d knock on mine and id bring you in

how many times did I let you in?

and if you were here

you’d get to hear my heartbeat,

and id would remember were not the same.

and I remember  the heartbeats

while you… you struggle with your name.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

and he holds my hand

trusting ill understand

and i do.

"i miss my daddy" he says.

and i am honored to be the next best thing

and in his world i am

i look over his head to see the wasteland

that stretches  all  around us

but he cannot see it and for this i am so glad

we walk on, hand in hand

and i will not deny him that small comfort

of touch  not laced in anger or insult

just complete love.

he is so small though genetics say one day he'll tower over me

i look up its my duty but i dont forget our hands

    and i dont know him

    i dont know who he'll grow up to be

but he's worth my every worry

and all my sacrifice

and here the land is brittle , broken

with homes torn in two

and broken dreams lie left for dead in the street we walk

and i am his protector

though i will become everything he has need for

and i am aware of the ghost of yesterday who follows me

but it doesnt matter

nothing else matters but the strength of my love for him

o my baby boy.