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PG Dec 2018
Birds chirp outside my window before the sun even appears
Interrupting my nightly rewind of 38 years
Or did I spend time in the future instead
With decisions not yet made, and words so far unsaid?

Slowly the fog drifts from my mind; my thoughts are no longer far
Wearily I rise from sleep, and grab a drinkless bar.
With a routine borne from endless practice, I move into my wheeled cage
Simultaneously what I need to survive, and a source of rage

Not due to the physical need; limits are never a shame
But because it puts me steps behind in the middle of life’s game
Some say I should be glad it is visible at first sight
With laws and support in place, I guess they may be right.

This topic feels conflicted as verses leave my head
Like following a path that someone else led
Supportive family and friends, a job, and outside interests too
All of these are mine, and yet there feels much more to do

I know myself well enough that part of my drive
Involves shutting people up and continuing to strive
Shattering expectations has always been fun
Now it’s more like a chore that never gets done

A clock in my head that just won’t stop ticking
Decisions seem to just get made without anyone picking
Days go by faster than the roadrunner’s blur
And yet things seem to end up back where they were

Work always goes well; at least by what’s in writing
They don’t have a front row seat when my head and heart are fighting
Feeling like I must always be “on;” a perpetual switch
Wishing more people knew I can truly be a *******!

That may seem like an odd thing to say
But just stop for a minute and see things my way.
Can’t drive on my own, dress or shower without an aide
Nobody even considers that I want to get laid.

“You think about ***?” they ask in shock
As if not walking means I don’t have a ****
The confusion all across their face burns me to my core
And gets me enraged enough to go hire a *****

I have no shame for this hope; though some would say I must
The only harm is not acknowledging that everyone has lust
I’m TIRED of feeling like these impulses have to hide
I just can’t find someone crazy enough to take the ride

In my darkest moments, paying seems the only way
I watch, we *****, and they don’t get to stay
But my thinking head knows that won’t solve the issue
So I guess I’m still stuck cleaning up with a tissue

“Don’t try so hard,” well-meaning people say.  “It will happen when it’s Fate.”
Hard to believe when you can’t even get a date.
Single women say they trust me, can tell any secret, and know I'll be there
So why the hell do they disappear without a care?

“You give such great advice and always know what to do.
I wish my boyfriend was more like you.”
Well, he could be, don’t you realize?
Get your head out of the clouds, and stop believing his lies!

Another one starts with “My family doesn’t even know this; you’re the only one I’ve told.”
I thank her for trusting me; the move was truly bold.
Down the line, I ask if one day sparks could fly,
“Nope, I’ll never see you that way, Goodbye!”

It’s not just about the *** either; that isn’t quite right.
Sharing hopes, dreams, fears, and laying together at night
No matter what obstacles or fortunes lie ahead
Not snapping out of a dream on one side of an empty bed

This isn’t depression, although I understand the concern
Just endless frustration wondering when will I learn
Actions don’t speak louder than words; they all have the same pitch
Why does the story ALWAYS end with me feeling like a *****??

Even six year old nieces get in on the act
Asking when I will make the lifelong pact
She doesn’t even care about gender; it could be the same
Unless of course, I want to hear a baby cry out his daddy’s name

Children has always been a true lifelong dream
But I’m a few steps behind and time is short it seems
At least my brother has a son to carry on our line
I know the future isn’t written, but give me SOME ******* sign!

Would I even be good at it?  Could I raise them well?
Who knows the kind of lives they’d lead, or stories they could tell?
I can’t say this for certain without a crystal ball
So instead I’ll be present for everyone here now, and help them through it all.

It may seem like these are things a true “man” shouldn’t say
And I admit to thinking the same a few times, even still today
After all, can’t do home improvements, fix cars, or plant a stupid tree
What on earth would any real woman have to do with me?

THAT’S the worst part of being in a chair
It allows you to think that no one else will truly care
Or that deepest dreams should remain hidden for no one else to see
Because, after all, you have a disability.

Sometimes these thoughts go too deep in my brain
Just gaining speed in my life like a runaway train
And I try to breathe slowly, stop and look around
Because of treasures I have already found.

The only person who will read these lines; “best friend” is WAY too weak a word
Family in all but blood; she urged my voice to be heard
Put out her hand, shared my laughter, dried some tears
Without question, my best decision these last five years.

Parents who drive me insane and often make me scream
But at the end of the day, we’re all on the same team
A brother and sister who tortured, teased and played along
Because in the end, bonds forged are lifelong

Nieces and nephews I could not love more if they were my own
Relatives whose love is not only stated but truly shown
An education with two degrees no one thought I could achieve
Even though they do not mean hard times and troubles will leave

Music and DVDs stacked from wall to wall
Even though I’ll never have time to play them all
A sense of humor that passes most people right on by
Maybe they’ll see me one day, stop in, and wonder why

As night falls once more outside and the page gets ready to turn
I can’t help but wonder what next lesson I will learn
Will it cause happiness?  Sadness?  Surprise?  Fortune?  Alarm?
Will I be able to keep the peace or have a desire to cause harm?

Do I have the skills necessary to keep on fanning the fire?
Without feeling like I’m walking a tightrope wire?
It’s like telling one last joke no one’s ever heard before
Will they boo me offstage, or stand up for more?

As I look back through my life, regrets seemingly zoom by at great speed
Ten years wasted on the wrong girl, not taking charge when I need
More independence than I’ve ever had before
But not enough courage to leave my parent’s front door

How will I explain these questions to people in my life?
What will potential girlfriends think?  Or (God forbid) a wife?
There are times when these thoughts fill me with physical pain
And endless tears slide off my face like nonstop torrential rain

All these endless riddles without answers in sight
Life’s milestones like road signs passing in the night
A sense of unease and worry permeates my head
Still, only one option open, full speed ahead

There’s nowhere left to run, nowhere left to hide
Just gotta have the right people standing at my side
And no matter what today’s outcome, draw, lose or win
They’ll help me get up tomorrow and do it all again
Reposting this  w/ minor changes from original version.  The "only person who will ever read these lines" convinced me to share this, so here it is.
Sep 2015 · 759
Bonds
PG Sep 2015
Family comes before all else is what we’re often taught
For better or worse, good or bad, whether we like it or not
And oftentimes that works out fine; wonderful memories are  made
Parties planned, births announced, celebrations before recollections fade

Laughter, tears, and lessons learned mostly seem to rule the day
But somehow one relative always seems to lose his way
Hides behind a wall of reasons, each just truthful enough to deflect
School started, kids are busy, work’s a *****, how many excuses will he collect?

I understand life’s various roles can throw us all for a loop
But that’s why times like these are so important to regroup
A second wife we barely know, two kids we’ve barely seen
Who knows what their definition of family will eventually come to mean?

The choices made are his alone; I honestly don’t care
Invitations keep being offered, but appearances are beyond rare
Weddings missed, funerals and wakes barely attended
But we all expect it now, and no one gets offended

When calls or visits do come, he acts as though no time has passed
People never buy it, although polite laughs come fast
I just don’t get why so much time and care is being given to a guy
Who clearly doesn’t give a ****, and I am DONE wondering why

Longtime friends understand me more than he could ever claim
For they stayed and listened when the good times and storms came
You see, family is only a small percentage about bloodline and relation
Mostly it’s people we WANT in our lives, and I am feeling true appreciation!
Sep 2015 · 10.4k
Freedom
PG Sep 2015
A blank page waits for words that it will never see
Created from the head of someone writing a story
Characters, plot, setting, theme, are central to the tale
Without them every narrative is simply guaranteed to fail

Stakes and consequences must exist for someone to pursue
Whether treacherous of heart, or noble, brave, and true
And if these traits stand not alone but mixed in with the rest
That simply adds more intrigue to the outcome of the test

Will he get the girl?  Will she rise above her station?
Can a rags-to-riches fable captivate the nation?
Who done it, where and why?  Are three questions most effective
But often ****** requires the help of a detective

These may seem like idle, fragmented bits of a much larger whole
But actually they’re not; every type plays a role
For you see, “someone” mentioned above is not a professional writer
But an individual on a journey, and we all must face it like a fighter

Characters are those you know and love, plot is what you choose to do
Setting is where you live, theme defines what is important to you
So why a fighter you may ask, someone who faces pain and strife?
Because we encounter both good and ill as we write our book of life
Sep 2015 · 11.7k
Crush
PG Sep 2015
Eyes meet with exchanged smiles from across a room
Laughter at the same jokes and nightime walks; who knows what may loom?
The meeting we both attend is a mutually interesting theme
Someone who likes it AND is realistic?  This cannot be what it seems.

Once weekly at college we hold each other’s gaze
Meeting for awful campus dinners to vent about our days
From my hometown, although years separate our leaving
This is too good to be true, of course I must be dreaming

I keep talking myself down; she already dates someone good
Although that doesn’t stop me as much as it should
But just as I’m willing to put up with that fight
She tells me she rejected someone the previous night

While thankful for my silence and no resulting pain
I can’t help but wonder why this has happened again
Why do people seek in me their emotions to confide
Without at all thinking I may want to be by their side?

Years go by and we remain friends, though truly only in name
Her interest in that topic has deepened; and things just can’t be the same
Contact dwindles down to a yearly fundraising letter
Finally I toss it aside, I deserve better.

A recent interview in the paper brings her to mind once more
Only this time I feel nothing down deep in my core
With her eyes “opened” and trust from Above
I see that she has now found a groom to love

I’m happy for them and their worthwhile cause
Hopefully they will help others put life’s challenges on pause
But when all is set and done at the end of the day
I have the people I want around me every step of the way.
Sep 2015 · 680
Dreams
PG Sep 2015
What comes into our heads as day turns into night
And sky turns black as coal before the next morning’s light?
Idle fantasies of childhood? Scoring the game’s final run?
Imagining years down the line with a daughter or a son?

Like an ever spiraling maze with an ending unclear
Some stoke our pleasures, others bring unsettled fear
The one time when we truly are impossible to find
Since no one else can access the reaches of our mind

Or perhaps these are not thoughts we have while we sleep
But ambitions to guide our path and goals that we keep
Directions from one point to another, like GPS in a car
So we can reach the mountain’s summit, not just admire it from afar

No matter the topic or intensity, let these visions in your life
Whether they come in times of quiet peace, or heavy angst and strife
Obstacles will no doubt appear along the way
Translate the phrase carpe diem; go out and seize the day
Aug 2015 · 1.0k
Ocean
PG Aug 2015
Water ebbs and flows like the gentle breeze
Tourists lounge in chairs, watching with practiced ease
Bright blue skies dotted with clouds roll by
*** in hand, I sit and let out a contented sigh

Flashing back to the times of years long past
When wiffleball, sleepovers, and cookouts trended; not the latest reality cast
When movies, delivered pizza , and cake felt like the perfect day
And no one obsessed  over what social media had to say

Let’s bring back the joy of those  pure summer days
With nothing to do but let them pass in a daze
A fog over my mind, past worries but a whisper
Looking forward to good memories  with my brother and sister

Whether school-age or not, what a great time of year
Visits await with friends and relatives; vacation is drawing near
Take a moment just to savor it and let that feeling stay
For life will roll in like the tide and try to take it all away.
I know it's almost Labor Day, but just recently got the writing bug again.
Aug 2015 · 1.2k
Loyalty
PG Aug 2015
Words sworn over a lifetime in both action and deed
Pledges to stand side by side, no matter where the path may lead
Family, neighbors, classmates, teams, roommates, soldiers, and co-workers each
Who knows just where and how far back the bonds of time may reach?

It’s hard to describe what pulls us in and lights the spark
Maybe it’s shared things we’ve done, or grasping for a hand in the dark?
Times when we have no idea what to do or say
And rely on someone new to help guide our way.

Whether it’s for life’s major milestones or just good times with a kink
Like seeing that first skin rag, or being given an underage drink
Or helping you drop a class with untrue initials quickly signed
Those are the people all of us secretly like to find

Why?  It’s not just for the excitement or a quick little thrill
It’s because someone finally sees us the way few others ever will
And when they need your help you almost always agree
Because inside you know, “They will do the same for me.”

But be careful not to overstress yourself
Like a pile of books on an overstocked shelf
For almost without fail at some point over the years
They will push you right to the brink of tears

It may not be with unkind words or a shattering of trust
Each wanting the same lover and fighting down lust
Priorities change as days go forward; in that there is no crime
Hour long conversations may condense to “Sorry, bad time”

Our reaction to these moments is the important thing to see
Each one is individual, just like you and me
Do we accept the change and laugh when we are able?
Or is it forever on the fritz like a downed TV cable?

If the latter is what you decide
Try not to be bitter at the end of the ride
But if you are, remember, as anger and resentment teems
The good old days weren’t always good and tomorrow ain’t as bad as it seems
Credit to the amazing Billy Joel and his song "Keepin' The Faith" for the last line
Aug 2015 · 1.4k
Gambling
PG Aug 2015
Numbers spin like lottery ***** round and round inside
Always on a quest to see what secrets we can find
But this door won’t melt with torches or be broken by a drill
Because it taps into our mind and uses our free will

No bills wait in stacks behind its inner wall of steel  
Just honesty about our lives and the emotions we all feel
Times we always remember and some we wish to forget
Those jackpots or busts everyone is guaranteed to hit

No clanging sounds or flashing lights to signal victory
Just thoughts of where we are and where we wish to be
Sometimes things don’t go our way and we throw in a losing hand
But , it’s not where the journey starts, its where you finally land

And even if your location stays the same
Pieces around you will change like a much-loved board game
New memories and friends come while old ones leave
Each taking a thread in the new life you weave

Experiences fresh and familiar shape what you become
And it doesn’t really matter from where the good times come
Hit or stay, spin that wheel,  and let chance do the rest
Walk away with chips in hand and know you’ve done your best!
Aug 2015 · 940
Whirlpool
PG Aug 2015
My thoughts are all jumbled and my head remains spinning
Another round is over with neither side winning
It always seems to come from the blind side without warning
And causes an uneasy silence until later the next morning.

Two people who years ago gave life to me
Watch as I regress to a toddler when we disagree
Never physically or intentionally, let me quickly point out
But my voice and pitch grows exponentially as I begin to shout.

They have been there in times of sadness and will continue without fail
No matter how choppy the water gets as I try to set my own sail
I was raised to be independent; to decide what’s right for me
But sometimes it’s hard to tell; is it the chair or me they see?

Independence is what they say like it’s the endpoint on a map
But sometimes I feel stuck, like a golfer’s ball in a sand trap
Decades of difference affect our worldview
They think I am too negative, and yes that might be true.

Oftentimes when these different ideas are spoken aloud
It feels like my perspective is lost and never truly found
Close friends and others understand how my feelings rise
But exclaiming them in every instance really isn’t wise.

In fairness to them, I haven’t made things a snap
My time under their roof really should be at a wrap
These are supposed to be empty nest years
Not for overreacting to everything that I hear.

And in most ways things are good; better than they have ever been
Aides come and assist me; the situation is win-win
We celebrate each other’s success, laugh and joke when we can
Each continuously vowing not to let the whirlpool start again.
Aug 2015 · 1.7k
An Ode To Doctor Who
PG Aug 2015
A bright blue police box spins through the sky
Over 50 years have passed, so no one bothers to ask why.
A Doctor in name, but no medicine dispensed
His adventures defy all common sense.

A Companion is always along for the ride
When the TARDIS lifts off; it’s bigger inside.
Our open-mouthed guide every step of the way
Their first visit extends to a permanent stay

The last of the Timelords or so people say
From a long-distant planet they call Gallifrey
Endlessly loyal with a mind second to none
He has never resolved a dispute with a gun.

He never seems to look the same for more than a few years
A fact that has left some in fits of angry tears
But everyone he’s truly known has felt a deep bond
Just ask Rose, Martha, Donna, Clara, or Amy & Rory Pond

Questioning the world and its traditions, his mind often lingers
On the tasty goodness of custard and fish fingers.
His personality leaves cause for some alienation
But what else can one expect after regeneration?

Friends often follow quickly in his tracks
Like Danny Pink, Madame Vastra, Jenny, & Strax
Otherworldly villains into our imaginations creep
Psychotic snowmen, The Master, Daleks, Cybermen, and unrelenting Angels that Weep

Dinosaurs in London, the Titanic in space
Motorcycles driving up Big Ben fast enough to win a race
Green forests of Sherwood; painting with Van Gogh
He can take us anywhere we want to go

And if when the journey stops your lips begin to quiver
Just breathe deep and imagine the Song of a River
Don’t go off the handle or fly into a rage
Open up a favorite book and tear out the last page.

That way, the stories won’t ever end and we can let them be
Soon another generation will come along to see
How a man whose true name remains unspoken
Can face life’s harshest obstacles and still remain unbroken
This was written YEARS before Jodie Whittaker was announced as the first woman to play the Doctor.  That's why I use male pronouns here.   I'm very excited she was cast, and can't wait for the new season!
PG Aug 2015
A sharp jolt woke me at quarter to three
My mind’s eye widened at what it did see.
Chilled to the bone and sweating, I shook my wife awake
She sleepily croaked out, “Is the world ending?  ‘Cause that’s the only excuse I will take.”

Ignoring her plea, I quickly dressed and rushed out of bed
While trying like hell to purge shocking images from my head
Jumped on the ‘Net, but without distractions I was bitter
Dead silence from Facebook, not a peep on Twitter

Nothing to do but sit and obsess
I could sue; isn’t this emotional distress?
But who would pay the claim?  Me, myself, or I?
No quick fix coming that way; ******!  I began to cry

The tears kept rushing down my face
Faster and faster, at a breakneck pace
Suddenly from behind, a snide voice made me stop
Her obvious contempt dripped out; “Whaddaya want, a ******’ mop?”

My resulting glare would’ve made Satan run for cover
Why did I ever take this ***** as my lover?
Five years of marriage, and two dating before
Poe’s The Raven came to mind:  Nevermore!  Nevermore!

It felt like the Gods were fighting on high
I could barely see straight; it had all been a lie.
Our whole relationship quickly turned to dust.
Inwardly, I cursed myself for yielding to my lust.

Holiday dinners with our families; true times of love and laughter
I could remember none of that now; forget happily ever after
The beginnings of a smile began to form across my face
“Shut up you stupid cow; you really are a waste of space.”

Her mouth came open; it drew nothing but air
No words could she speak; just an angry, hateful stare
My declaration froze her; the look of shock made my day.
“Still ”, I thought, “should’ve saved that ‘til after one last lay”

My line fazed her but an instant; she was a tough old bird
Belatedly I remembered her joy in always getting the last word
She took a deep breath:  “You asked for this, so here we go,
Your **** is so small, you can’t **** a Cheerio!”

“Did you honestly think you made me *** left and right?
I wasn’t even thinking of you on our wedding night.
I accepted my wet dreams no matter where they came from
Hell, even that **** Captain on your favorite bottle of ***!”

Her words sent me into a manic fit of rage
I could barely see in front of me; it was like a blank page
My world narrowed to seconds, one instant at a time
I seriously contemplated getting away with a crime.

Tonight had spun out of control so fast, like a complicated fable
Should I punch a hole through some walls?  Flip the dining room table?
What would get my point across better than anything else could?
At this point, all I wanted was her to leave for good.

“You think you’re the only one unhappy and put upon?”
I quickly retorted, before her voice could drone on.
“Now seems as good a time as any to tell you this,
Before we met in college, I hooked up with your sis!”

My wife’s screech of anguish rattled everything through the house
But nothing she could say or do would make me feel like a louse
Wickedly I thought about the left behind lingerie
A years ago remnant from her sister’s “present” on my 21st birthday.

Why did I say anything, you may rightly ask
Wasn’t it obvious nothing good would come from the task?
Sometime during every life, you must put up a halting hand
And tell the absolute truth, no matter where the chips may land

Perhaps I could still salvage things; convince her it was just one night?
But that simply wasn’t true, and would lead to more unneeded fights.
A quick and clean break seemed the only honest way
And it needed to happen now, before the light of day.

She chased after me and I ran for my life
My head whipped around as she grabbed a kitchen knife
The door opened quickly, and I bolted toward my car
Destination didn’t matter, just get me somewhere far

My pants began to vibrate; what the **** was happening?
“****!” I repeatedly cursed, it was her sister’s private ring!
I couldn’t hear her message; that was the only saving grace
All the blood rushed to my ****; was she wearing that black lace?

Ducking to avoid thrown objects, I pulled my phone from the pants
Still hearing echoes of my wife’s obscenity-laden rants
Checking the missed call log, I called her sister back
All the while thinking of that mighty impressive rack.

The ignition started up and I floored it down the street
Settling on  her sister’s house where we would no doubt meet
But I had a head start and accounts full of money I could pay
Good thing that the trip is six hours away

My adrenaline quickly lessened; I could barely stay awake
Just how much excitement is one man supposed to take?
Sis picked up on the first ring “I have to see you now!”
“That’s great; same here honey, “I replied.  “Just don’t ask why or how.”

“ I have some terrific news,” sis went on excitedly.
“Something that will really change things up for you and me.’
At that moment, it was clear, no chance of doubt or maybe
I knew my vision had come true; we were going to have a baby!
Aug 2015 · 788
Life
PG Aug 2015
What must it have been like thirty-four years ago
For my parents, still with three months to go?
Weddings and funerals days before they had attended
Now one life begins just after another ended.

Nine months the calendar says we must wait
But not for my arrival; just couldn’t risk being late
July was the due date, not any time before
But I arrived instead in April, month number four.

Thinking back on it now, I must quickly pause
And ask what kind of commotion did I cause?
The first cries from my mouth, the first glimpse at my head
What were they thinking about where life had led?

A priest baptized me quickly as a child of the Lord
I gradually improved, and then their spirits soared
Months later I would come to my first and only home
But unlike most children I did not begin to roam

Both said I used my energy to speak
It was almost like I knew my body was too weak
I would give anything to spare them the pain and shock
Of being told by doctors I would never truly walk.

I don’t know for a fact but I’m guessing my dad
Took this news to heart quickly and got really mad
After all, this man wanted to make others feel better
And now his own son was sick?  Here come the four letters

Or was their no sadness between them?  No anger? No pain?
Just a quiet resolve to let normalcy reign?
I suppose in some way they had no choice to make
Just do the best job they could and accept any mistakes.

This may seem strange, but I truly want to know
After being told this, where did they think my life would go?
How did this change their plans for me?
What did they think?  What could I be?

Don’t mistake this for pity; I’m not feeling sad
My childhood was awesome; the best I could have had
A brother and sister who helped, played, teased and fought
Would I change anything, you may ask?  Absolutely not!

Parents who encouraged me to learn, grow, and love life
Never hiding that all of us would one day face strife.
I was never promised anything would be simple or done with ease
But lately I just want to shout “Can I catch a break please?”

Don’t misunderstand, I’m not here to place blame
We all have parts to play in life’s little game.
But sometimes it feels like the wheels have gone off the track
And I’m looking for ways to get the balance back

People often say with a grimace or a frown
That life goes by too fast, and they wish time would slow down.
That is not my main complaint, but if I had to take a crack
It would be that I feel just about a decade out of whack.

Up through high school was pretty much an active blur
Football games, pools, proms, I never really felt unsure
My 16th year passed without trips to Driver’s Ed
But I never really cared because I knew what lay ahead

Graduating HS and then leaving town
Heading to college away from parents?  Nothing could bring me down
That summer and the next four years simply couldn’t be beat
At that point, it seemed like the world was at my feet.

My time at college would change me at my core
Hangovers?  Drug-addled roomies?  Never had those before
I wasn’t totally naïve; I knew all three existed
But voluntarily choosing them just seemed to make things twisted.

Yup, I was a goody-goody; though not quite like the Pope
But whenever things went off script it was hard enough to cope
Like telling a mom her son was kicked out after she asked me
Or when he said, “If the cops come don’t worry; I crashed into a tree.”

I didn’t mind these changes; though many thought I should
If they didn’t serve as a reality check, what else ever would?
Old friends left and new ones were made
Some memories are gone now, but so many have stayed

My first prom date in high school soon went away
Freshman year of college, right before Valentine’s Day
Soon after, a new girlfriend came along for a stint
At that point, I saw what craziness meant.

It wasn’t her fault; that’s not what I meant
We had good times; including a traveling version of RENT
But there was no real spark between us; just one of those things
Very quickly she learned how to pull my strings

Those two people??  Yup, they’re it
Keeps running through my mind
Yet I still believe there is someone
Out there for me to find.

I’ve been out with women since and felt more than a tingle
It’s just that none of them have ever been single
Married, engaged, friendzoned, or my decision
It feels like I’m out on an undercover mission

Online dating pops up in my head
Don’t have the guts to see where that would have lead
Please don’t read this and start to feel sad
It is not intended as a personal ad

I’m bringing it up because all too often
People with disabilities falling in love is all but forgotten
Every time the subject comes out of my mouth
People run for the hills or start heading south

Even friends and family who go back a long way
Often stay silent with nothing to say
Kept waiting for that much hyped talk about safety, women, and manhood
But no one  ever said a word, and I’m not sure they ever could.

I’m not an idiot of course, I know how it goes
Have fun, be respectful and safe, put bros before **’s
These days, I will stop and think   Do people even care?  
Or simply feel like it’s impossible because of the chair?

That’s the million dollar question with an answer unsaid
I don’t regret a single minute of where my life has led
My five nieces and nephews bring more joy than I’ve ever had
But eventually someday, I want to be a dad

Whenever that thought gets some space in my head
I always try and visualize five plus years ahead.
Many logistical questions abound
Could I chase him or her?  Change a diaper?  Pick them up and carry them around?

Be a good teacher of what they should know?
Compassion and hope no matter where time may go?
Give them all of the best things in life?
Without adding a burden to any future wife?

Don’t get ******; I’m not cursing the chair
Or saying that it has become too much for me to bear
It’s my legs, my freedom, and my travel; hope that doesn’t sound cheesy
But I also understand why it may make others uneasy

I don’t drive on my own, can’t dress or shower without an aide
So people don’t worry much about me getting laid
Totally understandable, no problem there
My issue comes when others think I don’t WANT these things or care.

I’ve heard “You drink??” in surprise and “Hey man, you must have pills”
Not screaming back takes all of my will.
“I won’t hurt you; will I?; “Do you smoke **** for the pain?”
Comments like these just drive me insane.

Not all of them are meant with spite
I can tell the difference and am usually right
But it must be out in the open and said without care
That people with disabilities should do whatever they can dare

It’s not always easy; that’s why I started this rhyme
Unexpected obstacles and problems can eat away at our time
But always keep people around who will let you dream
Celebrate your successes, and be there when you need to scream

They may not be the ones you thought or who you knew the longest
But you don’t need physical power to be among the strongest
Even if it takes more time than first thought
Never let anyone say that you should not have fought

Go to concerts, casinos, see the B’s, C’s, Pats, or Sox
Resist when anyone tries to put you in a box
Always give and expect 100 percent; never settle for half
And I guarantee no matter what, you will have the last laugh

To those who may know me,  thanks for being there
In ways big and small, you’ve all shown that you care.
It’s good to get this out with no apology
My next step isn’t clear yet, but no one will stop me!

— The End —