Do you choose or will you blame this on fate?
Your insolence is inescapable
And yet I allow thee to deprecate
Myself till I become incapable.

With such malice it cannot be legal,
Abusing ignorance, I must comply.
You call me chicken instead of eagle
So I dig, peck, and scratch when I could fly.

Departing once I realized your lies,
Fleeing with haste, there was zero forbearance.
So arrogant it took you by surprise,
that I did not heed your crude deterrence.

I will return one day, not to abhor
but to demonstrate, how high I can soar.

Once a precisely lawn was cut
Lonely uncle, left in a rut
Grass grows high, as he hits new lows
But you’re not here, and so it goes

Images of that yellow chair
Where you would be, but now aren’t there
Sitting where you sat, I repose
But you’re not here, and so it goes

Orphaned belatedly in life
One does not expect pain and strife
Lacking love a parent bestows
But you’re not here, and so it goes

With you all, I shall juxtapose
No doors open, one last box to close
Upon this earth shall lay a rose
But you’re not here, and so it goes

I look ahead
I look behind
To search for what
I cannot find
A journey gone
Into the past
To feel the love
That did not last
One step forward
Two steps back
Following footprints
I cannot track
Sinking fast
Into the sand
Wishing I could
Grab your hand
To pull me from
This dark despair
But you aren’t here
And you aren’t there
Only remaining
Inside my mind
I look ahead
I look behind

Flying free and glowing bright

You scoop me up and hold me tight

Now in your jar, you use my light

You poke holes in the lid so you think I'm fine

But my light still fades and I still die.

I’m going to accept that as truth
Even it’s false
Because of all the options
This is the best alternative
The only one
That could keep this friendship alive
I will ignore all evidence to the contrary
Put on my blinders
And walk straight ahead
No turning back

You might as well walk out right now
Sleeping with her I won’t allow
Break up with me before you do
Can’t have my cake and eat her too

Mesmerized by her pretty face
I forgot you needed that chase
Don’t blame the ***** that you pursue
Can’t have my cake and eat her too.

Did you think that I’d be okay
With sitting back to watch you play
I hope her clap is hard to chew
Can’t have my cake and eat her too.

Don’t worry I’ll heal from your scorn
My new life will not be forlorn
You can leave right now, take my cue
Can’t have my cake and eat her too.

As I lay there
weeping and sopping
heaving and gasping for a breath
as all of the air that had once
fluttered within me vanished
like I had been punched in the gut
I thought of what I had done
and what I had failed to do
the emotions came flooding back
pouring over me as I lay motionless
holding my knees into my chest
I felt dead
like a corpse unable to move
but then I envied the dead
for they could not feel the pain
that overcome my weary soul
As I lay there
waiting for the numbness
I prayed that it came soon

As I lay in the middle of the bed
I don't think that there's room for you
I looked to my right
there's a small insignificant space
you will not fit
On my left
there's even less space
as my bed's against the wall
You come up with a solution
Pick me up and you lay in the middle of the bed
You place me down on top of you
We both fit together

Excuse me
Do I know you
Do you know anything
about me
About my life
About my internal strife
that I am facing
at this very moment
no
you don’t
so
what gives you
the nerve
to feel entitled
to be able
to tell me
a complete stranger
what I should do
how I should feel
what ****** expression
I should emote
I choose that
You don’t