Flower: Poems

Aug 8 · 47

Flower Aug 8

I want to feel love
I want to kiss in the rain and laugh as our clothes become soppy and heavy
I want to squeeze his hand before the drop of the rollercoaster
I want to stare into his eyes for hours
I want to sing silly little duets
I want to hold him while he sobs into my shoulder
I want to write him pages and pages of love letters
I want to be the poem instead of the poet
But will anybody want that from me?

Inspired by a line from a friend’s poem!

Aug 8 · 59

The Loss of Nothing

Flower Aug 8

The Loss of Nothing

Two boys liked me
Neither chose me
And so I’ve been left here
Craving one and missing the other
Knowing that really I wasn’t a choice at all

Two boys cared for me
Neither committed to me
And so I cry at night
Longing them and grieving myself
Knowing that neither of them was ever my love

Repost because it received no attention last time (hoping for better)

Aug 8 · 53

Last Message

Flower Aug 8

Last Message

I sent my last message a week ago
A simple, passive, “hi”
Nothing meaningful or deep
Not a speech to make you cry
But you still didn’t respond
And so eternally I’ll lie

Pretend I never texted
Pretend I didn’t care
Pretend your lack of presence doesn’t make me pull my hair
Pretend your pretty face
And your stupid, fed-up glare
Don’t make me wish and crave to be the subject of your stare

But besides all of that longing
You know what’s worst of all?
I truly wholly believed
That you were going to call

Aug 8 · 55

Who Am I?

Flower Aug 8

Who Am I?

I have been called many things in my life
Know-it-all and ditzy
Forceful and submissive
Serious and silly
Everyone has a different version of me in their head

And god, I can’t figure out what anyone wants
All of these words have been insults
Am I too much or too little?

I want to be like the girls who get along with everyone
Who can take a joke without anger but know how to clap back
Playful and fun but not stupid and fluffy

Everytime I try I just become insufferable
I don’t float with ease above the surface like they do
I plummet into the depths
Or I soar above the clouds
Entirely missing my intended goal

Please teach me to be likeable
I’m begging you
Someone
Instruct me
Mold me
Make me the way I should be

Aug 6 · 80

Empty

Flower Aug 6

Empty

The house feels so empty
Now that you’re gone
Each room feels vacant and lonely

I have no more friends here
Now that you’re gone
And I will miss you terribly

Aug 5 · 50

Girlhood

Flower Aug 5

Girlhood

When the girls in my grade argue
They come for each others appearances
It’s a game of fat and flat thrown back and forth
“Your stomach hangs over your pants like a waterfall”
“I hate girls with mosquito bite *****”
And it makes me worry
What if I were to argue with one of them?
What would they say about me then?

The girls who fight are objectively beautiful
Tiny noses and full chests
Long eyelashes and smooth hair
I’m not like those girls
What if I were to fight?
The truth would come out

Everyone calls me beautiful
But I promise it isn’t true
Because those same people send me videos on weight gain
Encourage me to wear push up bras
Ask me if I don’t wear shorts because my legs are so skinny
Beg me to straighten my hair
Call me a “books over looks” kind of person

I hear them talk to each other
“Stunning”
“Beautiful”
“Gorgeous”
But when their subject walks away
Those words disappear
In fact they’ll often take a negative turn

One day
I’m going to get into a fight
And the truth will come pouring out
And it’ll sting
But I’ll feel no surprise
Because it happens to the beautiful girls in my grade
So it will certainly happen to me

Aug 4 · 83

Tubing

Flower Aug 4

Tubing

Splashing waves
Screaming in terror
Scrambling to grip
Soaring through the air
Smoothly landing
Smiling faces

Seeing the wave
Scraping the handles
Swearing your fate
Shutting your eyes
Spinning uncontrolled
Slamming the sea

Each year during the summer I travel to meet my family and we go tubing behind our boat. It is such a source of joy for me

Jul 29 · 67

Don’t Let This Be Goodbye

Flower Jul 29

Don’t Let This Be Goodbye

God I miss you; I miss every bit of you
But I have to let you go
Goodbye to the boy with soft fluffy hair and golden eyes
Goodbye to the boy I would’ve stayed up to any hour to be with
Goodbye to the boy who made me feel more than I ever have before
Goodbye to every piece of you that cared and every piece that ran from me

Goodbye to the boy with the angelic voice
Goodbye to the boy with the strategic mind
Goodbye to the boy who always knew how to hurt me
Goodbye to the boy whose smile made it better
Goodbye to the boy I cried for
Goodbye my love who never quite was “my” love
I’ll see you again one day

Not super poetic (nothing I write is), but I wrote it as an exercise to let go

Jul 28 · 48

My Poor Little Sister

Flower Jul 28

My Poor Little Sister

Someone once told me I’m “too kind for this world”
Many would agree with this statement, for that’s the only side of me they’ve ever seen

One girl knows the truth, however
She knows I’m not kind at all
She knows that being around me is a risk

My anger could explode
Any second now
Like an alarm clock rapidly ticking
When will it ring?
She never knows

But when the clock finally chimes
She knows who will bear the force of it
She knows who will withstand my fury
It’s always her

She’s steady as I berate her
But I see the hurt on her face
Clear as day to me
Carefully masked with a snarky expression
She doesn’t want me to know it stings
But I do
And yet I continue

My poor little sister

I am terrible to my younger sister. Just now I blew up at her again. She deserves so much better than this but I can’t figure out how to stop altogether. I get better for a while but bad habits die hard

Jul 28 · 58

A Dreams End

Flower Jul 28

A Dreams End

“I’m in love with you,” he says in a dream
“I won’t leave you again,” he whispers in a haze
“I’ve always cared,” he breathes in a fantasy
“This time it’s real,” he mumbles as I slowly slip away
And I’ll stare down at my pillow
And cry
Because I lost him once again

I can’t stop having dreams about a boy I miss. I feel so safe with him until I wake up and feel the pain of losing him all over again. I want those dreams to be real and everlasting.

Jul 27 · 61

Enough For Someone

Flower Jul 27

Enough For Someone

I want more than anything to be enough for someone
Not too much, as Robert says
Just enough
Enough for a text back
Enough for a smile
Enough to love
Enough to fill the hole in someone's heart
As I so desperately wish someone would do for me

My friend told me the reason I haven’t found anyone isn’t because I’m not enough, it’s because I’m too much. So they use me. I just want to be just enough.

— The End —