I can’t do it anymore
Not the masking, not the smiling.
That’s the easiest part.
But the way to live with all of that
With this broken heart, no one tries to fix
With these hands crushing my spirit and no one cares
With these thoughts killing my soul and no one sees it


I can’t live like that
In this silence
In this darkness
In this coldness
It’s winter - dark and cold
I can’t scream,
I can’t cry
But my silence screams for help and my soul is bleeding.
It is bleeding heavy tears that formed a river
A river that drowns me
And slowly I’m sinking
Slowly I can’t breath
Slowly im dying
Dying from the inside out

But no one notices
Not a single person
Cause they just see the outside
And no one bothers to look deeper
No one bothers to care about me
No one bothers to ask how I feel
Not to be polite, but to really know what’s going on inside

And just like that I’m wandering in silence that screams - to loud
I’m wandering in darkness that is to light - that blinds me
I’m wandering this road all by myself but I can’t see the end - it’s to crowded

It turned spring and theres new live in the tree.
But truly - I don’t know, if there’s ever a new spring in me

They say, you get back what you give
But you know what?
The loyal people get betrayed
The big hearted people are heartbroken
The people with the most beautiful smile are hurting deep down
The most generous people never got someone who cared about them
The people that love the most were left alone too many times

But all of those people are who they are
Not because they want to, but because they
know what it feels like to be left alone

So they stay
Even when they’re whole world collapses
The stay to hold you’re pieces
They stay to fix you, while they’re a mess inside, while their heart scattered into a million pieces and no one cared, they stay - cause no one was there to hold their pieces

Ash: “Maybe we can try”
Evelyn: “Try? That’s not enough”
Ash: “But this was-“
Evelyn: “Ash, I’m tired of trying and waiting. I’m tired of that constant voice inside my head that says it’s too late to even start trying! Ash I can’t do this anymore. I’m sick of that pain, of my mind racing with thoughts, with doubts. I’m sick of you. Of you promising to stay and then disappearing. Just to come back and ask for another try? No! I gave you a second, third and even a fourth chance. The game is over Ash! I’m tired of your promises, your promises in the dark. Those promises you couldn’t keep. But you promised me, every time the next one would last. I’m sick of pretending. Of pretending to be alright, when my whole world collapsed because of you. Because of your stupid promises.”

The world quiet, but not at peace.
Covered under this white blanket,
everything was locked in freeze.
I want to cry.
I want to scream.
I hoped it all was just a dream.
A nightmare –
dark and cold,
the storm uncontrolled.
When summer came it felt untrue –
’cause coldness came from you.
  -Enna

My soul screams for help,
I wanna tell someone,
but I’m all by myself.
Autumn comes.
The leaves fall and so do I.
It’s dark and cold and all I wanna do is cry.
Leaves are covering the ground,
I can hear the storm with all its sounds.
When spring comes there’s new life in the tree.
But I don’t know if there’s ever a new spring in me.
  -Enna

I dance with the flames
that used to be my light.
Burned by the spark
that tried to give me life.

My heart is on fire,
but the fire’s burning me.
I feel the summer’s heat,
but can’t see its beauty.

The sunshine is too heavy,
’cause it’s just cold inside.
I wanted to be happy,
but the spark in me died.
  -Enna

I like it when the leaves are covering the ground.
The wind in my hair, the rain and its sound.
The leaves fall –
and so do I.
Clouds in the sky and darkness in my soul.
I can feel it in my heart –
this big hole.
My soul screams… it screams for you,
but my biggest nightmare came true.
And I fall.
All I can hear:
your echoes in this empty hall.
But the fall was never true -
the coldness was just you.
    - Enna