how many layers
what depths of strata
are sufficient for interment
it's six feet under for a body
but what's needed to bury deep
failures of omission and commission
twists and distortions of mind and spirit
those things of which our souls are afraid
though we find the old labels disturbing
iniquities, transgressions and sins
whether acknowledged or not
uncomfortable or worse
disturbance too great
to take ownership
a risk too far
easier to deny
to hide from them
pretend their not mine
but I can't forever evade
be on the run, trying to escape
who I am good, bad and indifferent
responsibility, the start of becoming
honesty, the beginning of wisdom
opens the door to forgiveness


Saturday of the Fourth Week of Lent
5th April 2025
following Psalm 32.5-6

tectonic normality
fractures, crumbles, falls
disconcertingly rearranges itself
the ground beneath my feet undone
all my expectations and certitudes
the very heart of being, my feel for it
solidity ebbs and flows, liquefaction
sure foundations tsunami swept
certainties overwhelmed
ruptured, erased
gone

temptation
to stack up the debris
rebuild as best as may be
from ruins some semblance
of what was, had been before
clinging to that cherished past
dug from memory's museum
while gathering the shards
too hard to contemplate
metamorphic future
outwith engagement
unknown, unsafe, risk too far
not to be trusted, and yet
entirely inevitable

change
adaptation
evolve or die
as always it was
and forever will be
normals old to new
despite protestations
and attempts to ignore
so in the flux, the vortex
where is certainty found
to what can I hold fast
that endures forever
in the maelstrom
the crucible
me


Friday of the Fourth Week of Lent
4th April 2025
following Psalm 102.12-13

another day, another bomb, another shelling
another round of death, injury, despair
families fleeing from one place of danger
to ..... well there is no place of safety
free from a bomb-aimer's cross-hairs
not watched through drone-pilot's screen
excluded from tank-driver's fire zones
trying to find such shelter as can be
surrounded by the stench of the dead
among the rubble, broken homes
shattered schools, hospitals, mosques
parents, children, old, young surviving
deemed a non-people with no rights
lives, homes, land, future extirpated
sacrificed on the altar of war
holocausts to ethnic cleansing
those long-harboured ambitions
for racial and religious purity
promised land, the river to the sea
homeland for us not them

and yet, says the prophet
'the people have forsaken me
have profaned this place
making offerings to other gods
filling this place
with the blood of the innocent'

so to whom should we listen, him
or to the politicians and demagogues
generals and war-mongers
are there no peace-makers
not the peace-wishers, peace-hopers
woe-is-us hand-wringers
nor those determined on a final solution
the land-siezers and settlers
the Costa-del-Gaza developers
for whom there is only one peace, ours
total surrender, complete exile

and yet, as another prophet said
'he will judge between many peoples
and arbitrate between mighty nations
they will beat their swords into ploughshares
and their spears into pruning-hooks
nation will not lift sword against nation
or ever again be trained to make war
but each will sit under their vine and fig tree with no one to trouble him'

except they bulldozed the vines
figs and olives


Thursday of the Fourth Week of Lent
3rd April 2025
following Jeremiah 19.4 & Micah 4.3-4

there are those who know their flock
each numbered, ear tag attached, unique
recognisable, a marking, a gait, a quirk
bred, tallied, recorded, owned, marketed
a way of life, a business, an income
a shepherd and his sheep

another seeks such sheep as he may find
those who respond to the call
answer his summons
from wherever they call home
not owned but following of choice
who take the pathway, accept the discipline
a way of life, pattern of becoming
the Shepherd and his flock

some call him a rustler, a thief
a dealer in stolen stock
abhorred by respectable shepherds
needs locking up, running out of town
or maybe worse
but come what may
caught by his vision, inspired
those sheep take to his leading
stick the course regardless of others
and the Shepherd, what of him?
'I know my own and my own know me'
and when push comes to shove
'I lay down my life for my sheep'
there's shepherds and the Shepherd


Wednesday of the Fourth Week of Lent
2nd April 2025
following John 10.14-16

childhood days
drifting by in a miasma
of new experiences, stuff learnt
a world explored with bold or timid wonder
secure in family, hopefully, friends made
then school, later college, maybe uni
and an ever expanding world of work
holidays, personal relationships
and still the days drift by
with that almost invincible certainty
that even the troubling bits, break-ups
a job lost, illness can all be overcome
twenties turn to thirties, some are shocked
others take it in their stride
rent, maybe mortgage, even children
responsibility at home and work
the pressures crowding in
thirties replaced by forties
forties by fifties

life flying by
slipping through fingers
more grey hairs to hide or ignore
where have all the days, the years gone
what was once easy now less so
intimations of mortality
some untimely deaths
among family and friends
and those discomforting questions
nagging at the subconscious
what has been the purpose?
what does it all mean?
what has been of real value?
in this life? the eternal perspective?
and underneath, most disconcerting
how long have I got?
fifties hopefully to sixties
seventies and ...... ?
'so teach us to number our days
that we may apply our hearts to wisdom' 


Wednesday of the Fourth Week of Lent
2nd April 2025
following Psalm 90.12

icy east wind
whipping over fells
curling around barns
squeezing under doors
past ill-fitting windows
slicing through the layers
freezing breath and fingertips
digging stock from snowdrifts
lambing morning, noon and night
daily feed-round, on quadbike or foot
maintaining fences, building walls
protecting from rustlers and dogs
set loose on sheep for 'sport'
bio-security, official papers
vets, auctions and dealers
a shepherd's working day
woman, dog and flock
'the sheep follow her
for they know her voice'
what makes a good shepherd?


Tuesday of the Fourth Week of Lent
1st April 2025
following John 10.4

heated till the dross is burnt away
the refiner's fire of love and holiness
furnace of hearts, minds and spirits
from which emerges soul gold
moulded, crafted, burnished
designer's plan revealed

but who am I
and what's my life
how to assess my being
my motives and actions tested
against the yardstick, the plumbline
of what's good and godly, just and true
all that's of self-giving love and compassion
which lies deep rooted in the heart of being
the nature, character, purposes of God

just a little something to ponder
to explore, with which to wrestle
as 'I commune with my heart in the night;
my spirit searching for understanding"


Monday of the Fourth Week of Lent
31st March 2025
following Psalm 77.6