It's three o'clock, the thoughts torment me, they won't let me sleep. By now, they are a constant buzzing, they tell me "do it," they insult me, they hate me, but I’m the one telling them to do it. I’ve come to hate myself, to know that I am a failure. But I wasn't like this a few years ago, what has changed? Am I no longer willing to lie to myself? And yet, I used to be full of joy every day, those were such good times.
Now I'm here, tormented by thoughts and tempted by a gun that will serve as earplugs, forever.
I should do it, I know I should, but I don’t want to, and what if the voices stop? What if they stop? I have to wait and see, I have to resist that iron demon, I have to resist, but if I have to resist, then why do I have it in my hand? What am I doing? How far am I willing to go for my well-being, how far can I go to feel good? But then? Is all this good? I’m not sure, actually, I know it’s not good, in fact, it’s the opposite, but if I know it, then why am I loading the gun? Why am I pointing it towards the source of all my pain? I can't stop my fingers, I can't stop my head.

I love you, actually no, I love you so much that without you I think I'd go crazy, I love you so much that I rejoice at the mere thought of you, I dream of you and when I dream of you the day could only go better because I had the feeling that even if you loved me like I do but we both know that I dedicated all my heart to you and you played with it like you do with old dolls, but you know what? I forgive you, I already forgive you, but I won't do it for much longer, sooner or later I'll have to see between the hands I put before my eyes, sooner or later love will begin to weaken, sooner or later I won't love you anymore