Here I sit in my easy chair and while I continue to
Stare at these four walls, I contemplate just
Where I belong in this life, or if I even do.

While outside my window a storm rages on,
The rain streams down the window.
Just like the tears stream down my cheeks.

The wind howls and moans, just like my
emotions running out of control.
The lightning flashes, just like my memories
Of a happier past that is now long gone.

The storm intensifies both outside and inside.
When will blue skies return?
  Will the sun, shine once again?
And will the calm return? No one can tell
not even me.

How I wish I could make this storm go away.
Wait there is a way, it would not be easy.

But do I have the courage to do it?
No, I cannot choose that path.
Choosing that path would bring the storm
To too many other people. I must find another way,
So I go on another day, as the storm rages on.

I came to you in my time of need,
so that these dark thoughts and feelings
I would not heed.

I opened myself up and told the truth:
that I was ready to leave this earth, that in my life;
There was no longer any light or mirth.

What I was hoping to get from you was some help,
overcoming these dark thoughts and feelings.
Isn’t that what someone like you are
supposed to do?

You listened to what I had to say for a short time,
Then you left the room, leaving
me going out of my mind.

When you returned, you were not alone,
there were others with you.
And you tell me that you can’t help me.

The others tell me to stand up, and they placed
me in chains.
What is going on, I ask? Am I not in enough pain?

So, by coming to you and asking for help,
I am to lose my freedom. Why?
What have I done?
Other than to trust someone?

We are all actors upon a stage, the stage that is known as life.
The curtain rises, at the moment of our birth
some say that this part is the best.

When we are laid upon our mother’s breast,
we hear the oohs and awes from those
who will be our caregivers, teachers, our parents.

None of us know all our lines, for this play is never-ending
and surprising. From our first breath to learning how to crawl
to walking steadily and facing it all.

We progress from one act to another, unsure of what the next
lines in this play will call. Will it be grief or bliss,
or something that will make us fall?

Some of us will only have a line or two; others may have a brief
sketch, while others will be part of a grand show.

No one knows just what role they will play,
but for all of us there is one inevitable thing.
That for each of us, at one time or another,
the curtain must fall.

The mask that I wear is one that the world wants to see.
This mask of peace and contentment,
happy with the way things are.

But hidden behind the mask is the real me.
A person who is full of sorrow and self-doubt’s.
Years’ worth of unshed tears.

Someone who just wants to curl up somewhere
and hide. Someone that has thoughts of wanting
to lay down somewhere and just die.

No one knows, just how painful this mask is to wear.
When someone asks, “How are you today?”,
And forcing a smile I reply, “I am doing okay”.

While behind the mask, I am silently screaming inside.
“can’t someone help me?”
“Please someone see through this mask that I wear”.

But this is not what the world wants to see.
So, each day I slip this mask on.

And pretend to be what the world wants me to be.

Maybe one day, I will be able to throw this mask away.
But for now, I don it as I begin my day

Who am I, is the question that I find
That continuously runs through my mind.
Does anything I do really matter,
Or am I just wasting my time?

Do I make a difference in someone’s life.
Or am I just a waste of space?
Who am I, really?  Am I a nobody,
Or am I a person of worth?

These questions run through my mind,
Throughout each day.
Day by day, these questions become
Heavier to bear, more tangled in my mind.

The thoughts and feelings these questions
Bring forth, have me doubting my self-worth.
How I wish that I could find something,
Or someone to point the way.
Please, can’t someone just tell me, Who Am I.

Yet in the shadows, a spark might ignite,
A whisper of truth could guide me to the light.