Would it help if I had blue eyes
And blonde hair
That gently rolled to my waist
I think I’m going crazy
You know it seems like you might like me too
When you smile at me in the hall
But I saw the way you smiled at her
And I know it’s not the same at all
I wish I had her eyes
And a waist just as small
My friends say your relationship with her is over
But I just don’t know if that’s true
And unless my hair is blonde
my eyes blue
I don’t think I could be enough for you

Maybe if I had her brown eyes
With the double eyelids and long lashes
Her silky hair that was the color of ashes
Her perfect figure that makes me turn green
I wish I wasn’t so jealous
But I don’t think I can help it
When these girls are always on the scene

I want better skin
I want bigger *****
A bigger ****
Bigger eyes
A smaller waist
Longer lashes
I want her life

Why can’t I be like her
Is it really just confidence
These girls must have tons
Because I have none
And they seem to have everything I could ever want
It’s not even just beauty
But that seems to be the only thing that matters
I think I just don’t matter a lot then

Being around you made me feel like I was Cinderella
I felt pretty
People thought I was pretty
But no one knew who I really was
Including you
But then it’s midnight
The spell breaks
And suddenly everything is back to normal
Im still in a family where I’m valued less
With friends who don’t seem to care
And I feel overwhelmed every day
And it’s like nothing really happened
I guess I just don’t deserve that happy feeling like you do
Sure I can be happy
But it is never the same
Because inside
I know I still want to die

Love is tricky for you, isn’t it
You lift me up to touch the clouds
And I soar among the birds
But then it starts to rain
And feels like it was never real
Did I do something wrong?
I probably did
But when you drop me to go offer someone else the umbrella
You leave bruises on my heart
It’s almost purple now
But then once I start to heal
You bring me an umbrella
And everything repeats all over again
Am I really just being needy
Do you even realize how much this hurts me
I don’t think you do
Because if you realized how damaged I’ve become
I don’t think you would keep coming back like it’s always sunny

Am I just paranoid
Is love really that easy to find
Or do movies and tv shows really trick my brain so much
To think that I could find the love that heals my trauma
Is it stupid to think someone could love me
Will I ever get that wedding I dream of
With the partner who loves me for me
With all the stupid cheesy speeches
Because love seems so common but so hard to actually find
Is it something wrong with me
I think it’s something wrong with me
Am I just unloveable
I’m barely loved by my parents
How could someone love me by choice
I must be stupid
Because how could anyone actually love me
And how could I believe someone could