there are days that are not easy

moments tethered to exhaustion and preoccupation

music muted within thick walls of gray

there are starless nights

stones that cannot seem to be moved


then new light arrives


the air cools to an easy breath

the delicate electricity that shakes the heart becomes weightless with wonder

the heaviness of what just was flashes and falls away

like the underwing of a red hawk passing beneath the soul of the sun

i once went out over a body of water

well beyond the strand
and the break in the reef

pushed and pulled by the tide, i drifted above crowns of coral
and deep pools of bluegreen

floating there i saw a shadow flash beneath me

a blade that circled and circled

in a blink                   retreating
in a blink                   advancing before finally disappearing

for months i returned to that very same spot
with the hope of seeing the manta ray

to marvel at the speed
and ease of that black kite of a body

what is it
that agitates

the complacency
the curiosity

of your life?

what is it
that shakes

you awake
with the need

to hold hands
with beauty

and danger?

april unties
and loosens light
it unbuttons bloom
and beauty
and shivers

a crow wings
from wire to wire
catch coughing notes
raw and fragile


we live locked


each morning
i wait the words  

each afternoon
i seek the signs

each evening
i hope the notes  

but i know
that they might

not arrive
that all of this

is unexpected
and incomprehensible

when chaos commands
we unbalance scream and seethe
what remains of truth
is bruised and muted
what survives of beauty
is shattered and bleeding


who are we?


sometimes
the greatest courage requires
stillness

sometimes
the greatest strength requires
staring
into the raging face of fear

unblinking

lightning silhouettes
the midnight hills

men seed the ground
with nameless bones

fill the common graves
with rage

without question
the earth will take it all

without hesitation
the rain will wash it all

is there a more potent flower than sorrow?
is there a greater mystery than grief?
is there a singular and possible way to the speed the dawn?

the fox all burnt orange brown and soot footed
sat there in the middle of snow field

she had been watching me plod
and scratch my way across the same icy white surface

suddenly she stood and sprinted up the switch back of our common trail and made the tree line

stopping twice she marked me just before disappearing into a patch of thawed trees and dirt

eventually i made my way over to where she had vanished and checked her tracks in the snow

as if they might reveal some greater mystery

do not bother god with your petty little prayers your world weariness and concerns

instead step outside and wander the woods

ponder the melody of swelling rivers

the chemistry of change within the maples and birches

kneel as one season yields to the next

god applauds the woman who builds her own church

the man who seeks his own salvation

we balance the in between
of sun

and moon
winter

and spring
of the remains bequeathed

from one season
to the next

***** drifts
of melting snow

sidewalks thick
with rust brown pine needles

streets littered
with broken little branches

of trees
brooks babbling

with thaw water  
but right now

the sun has settled behind the mountain
right now

the crows ready themselves for sleep
right now

i fall deeper in love