If I was a word, I would be the word "Fatigue",
In case you don't know what it means, I'll add a definition,
Fatigue means having a lack of energy and motivation,
it's not what you think, I promise you that,
I'm not the word Fatigue because I lack motivation,
I'm not the word Fatigue because I don't do anything,
and I'm certainly not the word Fatigue because I am "lazy",
now those are two different things,
I am the word Fatigue because I am a high achiever,
I work myself day and night to be at the top,
I work myself so much that I get thrown into a slump,
I work myself so much I don't have the motivation to do anything else,
I know it may not seem like I'm the word "Fatigue", and maybe I'm not,
I might be the word "Exertion" or possibly "Deprived",
I'll let you all tell me but for now, I'll stick with what I got.

People always told me I'm "mature" for my age,
I always assumed that was a good thing,
it wasn't until I realized why I'm so "mature",
the things I went through as a child,
the reasons why I had to "mature" early,
the childhood of mine that was cut short,
I have always been more "mature" than my peers,
I used to wear it like a badge of honor,
until I realized the dark side of being "mature" for your age.

"People only show you what they want",
I used to never understand this saying,
I suppose that was because I never bothered to take a true look at the people around me, or maybe I was too young
When I got older I started noticing the differences in how people act around certain others, and that was when I started understanding the meaning,
when I noticed my friends acting differently around boys,
when I noticed my parents acting differently around family,
when I noticed myself acting like everything was ok,
we're all just clowns entertaining the people around us,
while we hide what we fear makes us weak.

I never realized how different my perspective was on things,
when people see a poster, I see something that eyes follow me,
when people see an innocent doll, I see something that's alive,
when people see animals, I see shapeshifters,
there are many things that I see differently,
I don't know if I'm weird for thinking like this or maybe I'm just paranoid from all the scary movies my dad let me watch when I was young,
or maybe it's all the reading I do,
but I like my point of view on things,
I may seem weird and I won't deny it,
but we all need to embrace the things that make us unique.

I'd invite my father,
not the man he is now, or the man he used to be,
but the man he was in all the good memories,
the man he was when we used to play Uno in bed after his shift,
the man he was when we used to go hunting,
the man he was when we'd ride in the go-kart,
I'd invite the man who I had only a few good memories with.

You read me like nobody else,
you care for me like nobody else,
you treat me like nobody else,
been waiting for ages for you to arrive,
so let me be the Wendy to your Peter Pan,
paint me like the sky touches down on Neverland,
I know you like nobody else,
I care about you like nobody else,
I treat you like nobody else,
can't you see,
your my Mr. Darcy and I'm Lizzie Bennets,
we're faded to happen,
so if you say yes,
baby when you come back when the story ends,
promise that you'll read me, read me again.

A dad should be a loving, caring, supportive person in your life.
My dad should not be considered a dad,
he was an alcoholic,
he was an abuser,
he was a murderer,
he was a man who only cared after he got caught,
a man who only reached out after he got locked up,
a man who blamed my mom when his kids finally spoke up for themselves.
Even though he was all of this, he was also a victim,
a victim who was neglected in his childhood,
a victim who was abused in his childhood,
a victim who was around alcoholics his whole life.
I don't forgive my dad for what he did, but I do understand the pain he went through,
because he did the same thing to me.