When you walk
And then talk
Do you do it straight?
Or Are you bent on inclination?
The modern debate
Tiller handle movement
Has no effect on the wake
Could you look at yourself?
How much o this could you take?
And then expect it o them
That are clearly involved
With themselves
And the void
Hanging
Off
Of
Satans
Prong.

There's snow on the internet
It's covered it over
The facts can't get out
It's a bit of a palaver
The place where we put all our info is stymied
I wish to learn
But the knowledge defies me
The library's shut
The museum on moritorium
The archives drained
It's like the mid eighties
Under a Tory government.

The Holy Mountain
Had Christs for sale
The road to perdition
Had a basket of ****** Mary's
Blackadder sold fake holy relics
Telly and movies
Have a pretty dim view
Of the church's
Financial activities.

The beginnings
Of sunrise
Like vivid bruise on milky thigh
pushing up the dark shutter of Day.

From Cheltenham last week's
*** of gold and of honey
Sharp Willie Mullins
Still counting his money.

I fell down the steps
Of the Lincoln memorial
It really hurt my knees
I fell down the stairs
Of the Lincoln memorial
In front of
Near a hundred
South Koreans

We went to
Holsten's
And sat in Jimmy's booth
Bout a month before he died
Should have seen it there
In that final episode
It was written
All over his eyes.

Some say
Inspiration will find you
But it won't find you doing nothing
I disagree
I was doing nothing
Then I wrote this.

And completely untenneable
The things that
Separates the daily
From the utterly
Undeniable
It moves the masses
When the obverse'
Gets thrown at the floor
Like the the time
When your mammy
Made that movie
And they called her an *****.

When you move between your family
And the things you still want
Do you yearn
Or are you
Reconciled with
That was the things
That don't count
Is it fresh in your memory
Or do you smile at its
Going
Content with the fact
You kept the human race growing
This is life
This family
This is the way that we are
Dreams o specialness
Get devoured by truth
In the needs o the hours.

I've given up sarcasm for lent
It's going great.

Laughter is involuntary
A knee **** so they say
Nexus to and exit from
The darkness
Way hey hey

What are you laughing at?
I don't find that funny
I am appalled
And your in stitches
To me that makes you scummy

Giggling or not at the horror
Wether Death,disease or blight
is something instantaneous
Neither wrong or right
Then weigh and mull it later
At your leisure through the night

We've got the Greeks
To thank for that
Formulating our condition
To laugh or frown
Or roll your eyes
Is not your own decision.

There's always bin the idea
O two sets o books
Ever since books were invented
A curious process in which we all are involved
It's what keeps us from going demented

One set the truth
That unravels unheeded unseen perhaps
By those around who look on
The other your truth
Somewhat tailored but blurred
Of what you thought
You'd become

Cos the moral compass has no external dial
To ink on your page no one listens
So You can write down the details
However you like
Talk about a double entry system.

The nature of hierarchy
It's there for a reason
Just take it with a pinch of salt
Or out your brains you'll be sneezing.
Ah ****! That's pepper isn't it?

I had a friend
Thirty years ago
He had nowt
Didn't have two ha'pennys to rub together
Managed to get himself
A little Handcart
He went round
Collecting all old newspapers
Day and night he toiled
Seven days a week
And twice on Sunday
To one day make his fortune
And do you know what he's worth today?
NOTHING!
And he still owes for the handcart.

It's Magnolia season
Reminds me of someone
How soon it arrives
How quickly it's gone.

My brow ridge itches
It throbs
And aches
I can feel my family
And all that it takes
To walk my way
Round the place
Where I live
Three hundred thousand
Years
It takes
To forgive
All the things
We did in that gap
Now facing forward
We should know the things that we lack.

I heard an American journalist
Describe the United Kingdom
In nineteen forty four
As
A green and pleasant
Unsinkable air craft carrier
No poetry required
There at all.

I dreamed a dream
And you were there
With perfect knockers
And tousled hair
Laughter like music
A scream serene
It seemed impossible
I dreamed a dream

I looked right at it
They told me not to
Now I'm walking into walls
My retinas shot through.

Scrooge would be just about clocking off now,the **** piece.
But at least he led by example.

Sitting in a pub at midday
Sipping scotch
And doing the crossword
I'm the only punter
No chance of a crossed word
Well maybe the barman
But he seems pretty relaxed
Engrossed in his phone
Probably sending a fax
Or whatever it is that
These crazy kids do
And im alone with the god's
Like Bukowski used to
The air is so peaceful
I can't help but smile
This is my life now
At least for awhile.

Don't look now
But Sutherland's
Chewing
Christie's kebab.

Memory is a *******
It lets you stay there
In that fuzzy place
Beyond fear and care
When you think back
It's not the event you recall
But the last time you recalled it
In the records hall
Edited each go
By what's on your mind
Subconscious gymnastics
Act as a blind
To what really went on
Decades ago
If you saw as true
Up your guts you would throw.

My father died of dyslexic alchoholism
He choked on his own Vimto.

The streets are too wet
The bay is too wide
The foothills are too far away for the rise
That brings the snowfall
In which children delight
And only the old despise

The chill of the flurry
Felt sharp on the face
Warms before the ground
To mix with foul slurry
From heaven to earth
A terrible mush all around

You're not a seagull
You're a gull
A Kittywake by the sea
Because seagulls don't exist
They are just an etymological redundancy

Be thankful you live here though
And not in the sticks
Where the truth lies deep in the drift
And cast your eyes grateful
Around the clear
In a land where the snow never sticks.

It only just a couple of years ago
I found out that cocktail
Isn't called
A peanut collider.

And Alexander seeing the width
And reach of his domain
Wept
For there were no more worlds to conquer
But Alexander never wrote Rocky Raccoon
So he can go and **** in his hat!

When the ***** is all gone
Is it worth sticking around?
No more liquid shield
Against the drone
Of the crowd
Sober
Joyful
Participation
Might be a stretch
As you sweat and you twitch and you puke and you retch
Like that night you collapsed into and slept in a hedge
Ah sweet memories.

I'm lining em up
Urologist
Proctologist
Phlebotomist
Clinician
Radiologist
Encologist
Anaesthesiologist
Mortician.

You kiss em
You rub em
You **** em
You put your mouth on em
Or something.

All hail the Toblerone
King of the awkward chocolates
If you buy a big one on a plane
It'll drain all of your pockets
Of residual dollars or euros
Bhatt **** or lek
Or **** it!
Why not dash off
Your last travellers cheque

Honeyed almond sweetness
Who could decry that
Only the honeyed almond intolerant
And you can never trust them *****
Just it's satisfying chunkiness
It's heft and it shape
Is something deeply pleasing
The chocolate biscuit it doth take

It's true name lost to time
It should be Tobler one
For its creator was named Tobler
And he'd only just begun.

But there he stopped.

What's that thig that you Yanks do?
From the civil war to World War Two
From Getsyburg to the sea o tranquility
That haunting sound gets driven into me
Through the smoke and swathed in reverb
The nations emotions
Sonically preserved
Uniquely you
You ******* own it
That old evocative
American trumpet.

What's that thing that you Yanks do?
From the civil war to World War Two
From Gettysburg to the sea o tranquility
That haunting sound gets driven into me
Through the smoke and swathed in reverb
The nations emotions
Sonically preserved
Uniquely you
You ******* own it
That old evocative
American trumpet.

Halton borough council claim I didn't pay to cross the bridge
But I did
William Hill's system crashed
And they were not taking bets
The blood banks after me
But I'm on a platelet embargo
Amazon once again
Have no record of my cargo.

Prehistoric territoriality
Local government venality
One man who hates the water
A younger seeking knowledge
The last would quite
The ghosts of his past
By quashing what is put there
In the murk.
That's the story of Jaws

Sam and Dianne
Tony and Carmela
Vera and Jack
Bobby and Shiela
Boston
Jersey
Weatherfield
Liverpool.

Never mind
Never mind the *******
*******!

JFK in 62
Said they would put a man on the moon
And return him safe
Before the decade was through
We choose to go
He said three times
And paused
As the applause declined
Then added
And do the other things
not because they easy
But because they are hard
What would we see on the turn of that card?
What could they be
These difficult things?
Unnamed
Undescribed
New ideas to take wing
To foster global entente
Would be a hell of a trick
Or did he just do it
To measure his ****?

How Duth thou
Go forth
Wence from ere
Thou did came
Thence thy sallied by
Twixst the lullaby
''Twas to blame.

When everything's empty
When everything's done
How long will you linger
Before you move on
You tickled me there
Don't know if it was meant
But you smiled
As I ******
Beyond
Recompense
And now what are we?
What did we become?
As you walk away
I've got me eyes
On yer mum.

It's not Tuesday
I hear you say
I believe that
Does matter anyway
Good lord
The facts are not real
So get ready for incredible speed
I say things that you cannot believe
But get ready
For stuff
That
Makes you
Feel
Real.

Sudden and violent
At peace in your sleep
Or a chance
To say goodbye
As his soft footsteps
Creep.

I have a problem with timing
I can't do a soft  boiled egg
They either come out solid or slimey
As I hop from leg to leg
I know the time and temperature
I'm waiting with a spoon
But I drift off or go early
Ovoid perfection is doomed.

The light of the righteous
Fell upon the multitude
Gathered glad
The Pearly Gates
Swung open
In walked Dad.



To Jimmy with all my love.

No ones
Ever seen me before
So what could they be after?
He who would valiantly be
Gainst all disaster
Like Gregory Peck
In that church
When he raised his dagger
I know I'll get shot
But who will
Communicate
What goes after?

Meteors again tonight
The Lyrid so I'm told
Once more the weather forecast
wonders preclude
They say the best angle
And light condition
Comes an hour before the dawn
I'll set my alarm
It'll do no harm
But I'll deffo sleep through it.

That memory you have sculpted
Though of course it was not you
Is starting to the take the polish
From being so often viewed
You used to view it as intractable
but you're beginning
To catch on
that perfect sunset
The day that you met
The moment your father died
Editing software
Gives a parallel.

Early
Mid
Late
Never.

Steven Spielberg called
And offered me and my identical twin brother a job
It was on his hatchery
We'd be monitoring
The defacatory habits
Of the livestock
We were to be
Close Hen Counters Of the **** Kind.

Essentially inedible
Is that all
That terrible?
When you consider
Where the criticism came from.