I'm like John winston
On the brandy alexanders
Your gonna have to deal with me
This nitrogen it seems
Puts such pressure on my eyeballs
That I can hardly see
So l plummet on down past where I should
Just to stare blindly in the sea
Sudden earhquake
Massive landslide
And that
Is the end o me.

Skeleton walks into a pub
Orders a pint of Guinness
And a mop

The statue on top of Nelson's column is fifteen feet tall
When the man himself died he was only five feet
That's Horatio of 3 to 1.

Klopp out,Slot in.Title won.

It's not at all sophisticated
Or worthy
It has a metre that I really like
And even when
It's odour has an edge
I find distasteful
I'm a sucker
For the things
I can't buy

And once again
I failed to see it early
Something so blatant
beginging to unfold
But by that time
you had captured my heart
And so
I had treasure untold.

How do you know what you are?
The opinions stretch both near and far
They be *******
Swinging off of your ****
Both near and Far
It's just hard to know
What you are.

It's that 9/11 weather this morning
The pilots call it Severe clear
I know it's crass to bring it up
Maybe it's the time of year
Pretty close to a temporal antipode
Of that Day that brought such fear

The  contrails so bright and straight
Against the brunch aquamarine
Like determined daytime meteors
Their surety seems obscene

In no mood for delay
They push past the cold thin air
To be fast and true and punctual
Remains their only care

And then the Sky Beluga
As if to a call responded
That bulbous headed carrier plane
The Airbus A300
Swims low and slowly overhead
It almost looks in pain
To deliver parts to the airbase
So we can start again.

Round where I live
On a road called Dovedale
There's a double run o trees
On both sides o the lane
Early nineties
The council
Aggressively pruned
Right back to the stubs
Which the branches preclude
They bulbous forms twist
But not very far
The beatle fans from Penny Lane
Drop many a jaw
But I'm used to their
Unsettling visage
They look science fiction
Ancient and yet
Not that diminished
Like they'd bin there
More than they
Eighty odd years
But no one saw em
Till the need  came near.

When McCartney goes
The seas will boil
Everest will crumble
The crops will spoil
Immovable objects
Will get shunted aside
Unstoppable forces
Will have the brakes applied
When McCartney shuffles off
Every dog will cry
The tortoises
Will all pull in their heads/legs/tails and die
When McMartney joins the choir
The world will feel a chill
Sadness on Penny Lane
The fool has left the hill
When McCartney throws a six
There will be a global tremor
But take comfort in the fact
Ringo will live forever

Once you hit a certain age
All your memories are ten years ago
Unless childhood or immediate
It's a decade Past
Give or take a year or so

Dilation and concentration of remembrance
Both stretched and contracted
Twenty years turns to ten
Five does the same
True chronology
Can't be extracted

I remember you now
How you were back then
As I just bumped into your sister
She says that you're well
I should give you a call
Time bubbles
And turns into a blister.

So fat he's never been cold
Killed young a story unlived and untold
The one chosen
Who refused to come
The stout protector
Takes to his heels and runs
The promise of peace and agriculture
Transmuted
Into technologies cluster
That ******
Any chance of the self
Persisting
All alone
In it's own good health.

What would you do
If the aliens came for you?
If they landed and exclaimed
"We seek the one you call(insert own name here)"
Though no purpose they explained
Would you rush to their request
Acquiesce to their behest
Trust em cos that's who you are
An open heart
A mind ajar
The heart wants everyone to know
It welcomes all
It is not cold
The brain though is not so sure
Projected aims may not be pure
It knows our past in microcosm
What the tooled up
To the meek put on em
To collaborate or disappear
Safety now
Else
Posthumous rectitude through the years
They may think you creations saviour
Or are here to punish your foul behaviour
They could want you for what you think
Perhaps they've heard
You like a drink.

How Duth thou
Go forth
Wence from ere
Thou did came
Thence thy sallied by
Twixst the lullaby
''Twas to blame.

America passes
Mother's Day
Just over
A month after
But we
Celebrate the dads
On the
Same day
Without laughter
Allowing
For the worlds turn
Against
All
Disaster
The
Weird
Thing
Is
The
Mas
Are
Still
*******
Plastered.

There's a glass in my cupboard
That's seventy two years old
Sometimes I drink ***** out of it
To see what might unfold
It belonged to my grandma
It's a coronation relic
I've checked
It's not collectible
It's fate
Is rather hectic.

Why was Scrooge so god ****** special?
Where was Jacob's chance at heaven?

I feel sorry for the intolerant
For peanuts taste just great
They've got that indefinable
Extra layer of taste
Especially when they alter them
Salt and vinegar
Sweet chilli
Barbecue
Come on get em down your neck
What's the matter with you?

That dog that climbed to the top o the great pyramid
Had more than a touch o the jackel
Panting ,looking down ,481 feet off the ground
People aghast at how it could happen

He's a dog! I opine
So just keep in mind
That's what some brave doggies do
He's not got our fear
He just wants to bound clear
O the earth
And our human to-do

There's ancient peace up there
He projects back through the years
To be with his full blooded ancestors
Stood at once near the peak
***** his leg for a leak
At ease with his familial protectors.

Listen to aluminium by Roth Bart Baron if you don't speak Japanese
It beauty and its ache will bring you to your knees
I'm clueless what he's singing about
And I don't want to know
To understand them lyrics
Might diminish the glow.

The death of his mother?
The end of a love?
The start of a new one that fits like the glove?
A celebration of friendship?
A recovered one once sick?
Or did some ******* kick his dog to death,
Just like poor old John Wick?

When all is lost
Or just misplaced
It's time to panic
Your family disgraced
It's time to **** your pants and run
Edgey malaise  no longer fun
You thought it cool
Lurking near the edge
Strong winds wrapped  your trousers round your legs
Felt the tremor at the cliff's thin lip
Saw it might crack
Backed off right quick
Your tyres bald
Head getting there
There's little grip
Down there
Or up here
So when truth is hard
Become a liar
Let's roll round together
Like animals on fire.

New sources say she put JFK to shame.

It's Magnolia season
Reminds me of someone
How soon it arrives
How quickly it's gone.

Cat food
Is not good for you
Don't eat that ****
Unless you in
Mad Max2.

It's Easter
It's gone
Like the promise
That Christmas purloins
The thought of how we might treat ourselves
No point to aim at
So to hell with the meanings
Back to the pavement
That stops us believing .

We the five percent
Demand the rest
Of you mysterious *******
Stand up and be counted.

Gravity is beating up light
But it's a Hollywood fight
Smoke and mirrors
Gravitational lenses
Viewed from the right angle
You can't tell the bar stool is made out of matchsticks
The camera placement as the cowboy slips the punch
The sheriff thrown through the sugar glass
Then it's a wrap for lunch
Or a Star Wars effort
Claiming they got two suns
We knew they were kidding
When the space telescopes come
Now with the Jimmy Webb
He deffo would have approved
Cos by the time he got to Phoenix
The whole universe had moved.

I knew a man called trvevour
Way back then through the mist
I know
yet it's so hard to convince
The people who say that
Trevour exists
Is a complete fantasy
My *******
They twist

Target acquired
We got him on the thermal imaging
Yet he neutralised the threat
We could not launch against him
He walks twixst the raindrops
He hides in plain sight
All attempts to bring the hammer down
Just end up in *****
He seems so protected
Just what has he done?
To have the machine and the earth
Pressed under his thumb

When you strike down
A ***** in Egypt
The Earth it feels alive
Reconnected
To the wellspring
So many questions inspired
You don't know how they did it
The carving
Transport
And placement
Shafts Driven
Arrow straight through the bedrock
To open technology's basement.

I've heard there is a bus stop
On the old Kent road
On the roof o which
A VHS o Hellraiser
Was thrown

Someone saw it
And took a picture
And soon a community was formed
And more copies
The elements endured

Rain and frost and then thaw

A classic piece of art
Wether meant or not
You got to give to the cockneys
Some o them ain't *****.

It only just a couple of years ago
I found out that cocktail
Isn't called
A peanut collider.

You got to love the ego
It does so much **** work
Dealing with the judgemental Superego
Harsh reality and the Id that ****
The Id just wants to **** and fight and feast
Superego tuts and rolls its eyes
Reality stands there laughing
This is hardly a surprise
Freud called the Id the cauldron
Dr Morbius said it had monsters in it
As the unthanked ego labours on
Stoic true and finite.

Ansel Adams was ******
Once people started getting into
Ansel Adams
Cos they went to where he composed
And thought
Anyone can do this.

When you out and about
You felt the grip o the *****
There be somat about
The feel o someone you knew
But alone you feel different
Something you can barely construe
And so you delve down to
What you obviously knew.

I remember the black and white eighties
When the people owned their shops
Not just the proprietors
But those around who flocked
For communion
And connection
On a Saturday afternoon
Wether marital arts
Or comics
Music
Clobber
Video games in smokey gloom
Chapter one and Ogre books
Backtracks and Probe
The leather shop and flip
Down a pasty for fuel
It was always grey and overcast
Rain off cobbles danced
Outside of short lived record shops
The mood only enhanced
The breakdancers with their Lino
The suedeheads and the goths
Sick Thrashers and glam posers
Sitting off and taking stock
Uneasy tribes would gather
From both near and far
Then up the hill to Shaolin World
To buy a throwing star.

Is it the crack and report
As the hammer strikes true?
Or the spilt second scrape
Down the barrel ?
The discharge of gas
As the slug rips past?
Through the displacement o air
it does burrow
Is it the PEYANG! PATOU! Richocet
Of an old cowboy movie?
Or the acts of the Manson's
They thought that **** groovy?
Is it the swish as it grazes
A candidates ear?
Or the whimper of a victim
Rigid with fear?

Chastened prince who once refused the crown
Although the people knew he ruled
Scintillated in a tall place
Somehow less crude
Than he used to be
Made no odds really
On the vital tunes
All allusion fell away
As excellence accrued
Frozen in the presence of the rare
It felt rude to be
Outside o the self.

You're always writing out your ******
That's just the nature of the media you choose
Still every now and then
It can be a bit less hacky i suppose
When you  feel the spark
When  you fish the words out of the air
When it's not that embarrassing
To expose yourself to care
When the ether throws you a bone
And your radio turns computer
Drop your kecks and bend over
Here's comes another beauty.

"I like rice,it's great when you're hungry and you want two thousand of something."

Gone but not forgotten.

Llandudno is one **** town
Everyone I've talked to
Felt the need to throw it
Down.

Poly tunnel kingdoms
In uneasy truce
Glower across the divide
First hovering kestrel
Then circling crow
Waiting for something
To die

The earthworms are frightened
The hares on the run
Avoiding beak and claw
Hemmed in by the tarmac
And rumbling doom
Breaking all natural law

The badgers are lucky
At night they are free
To cross with out
Auto harassing
And think themselves god's
Immune to all death
Till the farmer
Gives them a gassing.

When someone looked at you
And was compelled to smile
When the journey was blissful
Neither counted the miles
With warmth without edge
And peace within reach
When puppies gambolled  
At your feet On the beach
When you returned home
To comfort and food
When you fed off of each other
When connectivity accrued
When you both were anchored
Moored solid in love
When it would last forever
Decreed from above.

He was sick of his religion
He'd developed apostate cancer.

In Hollywood
Gas masks work forever
And in the worst conditions imaginable
In reality I bet they're a bit ****
It just doesn't seem that tangible.

YOURE NOT SINGING
YOURE NOT SINGING
YOURE NOT SINGING
ANYMORE!
BECAUSE YER MA
IS A *****!

Imagine hearing that everyday
As yer dad went off to work.

Lobbing grenades
Off of the summit o Everest
Trying to bomb the *******
Just Like Kenny Everett
But the fuse is too short
They just burst in the air
He  don't live at the peak
He's somewhere down there

Milney has been planning
This Trek for years
Like some frozen Ahab
Blind to the cares
Of family and friends
Who deny his obsession
Deeply frightened by his souls possession

He teamed up
With a crack squad
Of hard Buddhist monks
Who will joyfully participate
In killing the ****
For centuries now he has murdered their kin
They will end  what the beast did begin

For these priests know how to swing a sword
You might have seen them treading the boards
At you local theatre
But this is real
They will end this monster
And his skin they will peel
Off of his bones
And his carcass they'll stuff
To display at the inn
So we'll know soon enough
If milne was successful
All ****** and sweaty
As he asks at the bar
ARE YOU OPEN YETI?

Who knows what went where
And indeed
Why anyone
Should care
But then again
Look over there
While I remove
Myself from here.

In a period of sobriety
I tend to wake up early
Still somewhat fuzzy
Deffo unfocused
Twisting forest path
Unclear to me
So many possibilities
Even though
Over the ****
Strong sunlight
Filters through canopy
Inspiration
To avoid the slump
Back into sloppy reverie
The pleasant endless drunk
But it could end right here
With a cool breeze on my face
The fawns and the rabbits
I Sort of like this place.

It only takes one *******
To cause a stink
But that's all it is
And that's what the winds for.

Things fall off
Cos things get loose
I've lost my screwdriver
I know that's no excuse
You can feel the vibration
Before you hear the sound
Once the bolt hits the floor it can never be found.
Rattling
Shattering
You stupid *******.