“The kids grew up, and they got big. The state of the house, they constantly dig. I work 40 hours; you are here all day, I do it all, not even bills you pay! If it’s a mess, get off your ***...clean the dirt, clean the ****. You are nearly an adult now, your own house is near, when I use YOUR bathroom, il leave a smear! I will turn on lights, and leave them on, and laugh when you shout at me “why did you do that Mom!!” I will laugh inside but miss those days, because deep inside I miss your ways. Now the lights are off, the mess is gone, the noise is silent, those days are gone. I miss those days, I miss you here, my love for you will never disappear.”

“You’re a mom”, the words so unknown. I just smile, and say “I know”. This tiny little piece of miracle in my arms, but all my heart says I will bring you no harm. I wean and make you grow, I love you more than you could ever know! You turn two, you are so sweet, your baby sister you have to meet! You called her “moo cow” and we did too, however when she turned one, that name was gone. Your daddy left, life got hard, just us three and I put up my guard. My girls were mine and we tried our best, life wasn’t easy as you would guess. We sometimes laughed and sometimes we cried, but if nothing else; I always tried! Now you are older and I wish you well, I hope you never ever experience that hell. The pain of feeling “was I just enough” the struggle of feeling “we had it rough”. My girls are my world and soon they will be gone, my job as a mom will soon be done! What lies next? I do not know...can I stay here or should I go?