Sparkle Girl visited for Christmas
She's 5-1/2 going on 13,
A mesmerizing bundle of energy
If you know what I mean,
She can demonstrate TikTok videos
Knows all the dance steps and ****** expressions,
She has no clue what the words mean
Nor their lasting impressions.

Dramatic distress
Some people display,
When they are trying
To have things their way

Dramatic impress
Is their method and plan,
Get everyone's attention
Like an earthquake in Japan.

Dramatic finesse
Self-trained, she's a master,
Oh, what would I give for
My Stokes-Adams blaster,
Holstered on my hip
For situations such as this,
A dramatic departure
With flame and a hiss.

I have never trusted
The testing of IQ,
Who is smarter
Me or you?
Yesterday, I scored one-forty
Last week an eighty,
After a night of boozing
'Twas my birthday, matey.

When I was a kid
I thought it meant, I’m cute testing,
I got really good scores
My destiny was manifesting,
But then I became awkward
When I hit thirteen,
My popularity plummeted
If you know what I mean.

IQ, I’m cute
Don’t go hand in hand,
Some of the smartest folks
Are dorky and bland,
And your **** stud boyfriend
Might be dumber than a post,
That’s why I don’t trust the testing
Nor do I ever boast.

At the river
I fantasized,
If you fell in
Your boat capsized,
As you swept away
I would leap or dive,
Doing what I could
To keep you alive.

But what if I pushed you
To create the disaster,
I would swim to your side
Swifter and faster,
Than the turbulent waters
To save you from harms,
Just a devious way
To get you into my arms.

I could say you weren't breathing
And place my mouth to your lips,
I could listen over your heart
And palpate your hips,
I could do all those things
With an innocent guile,
But would you knock me out cold
Or let me see your sweet smile?

At the river I dreamed
As the water streamed by,
No need for me to explain
Why I awoke with a sigh.

When I was single at forty
I was only eighteen,
If you knew what I implied
You would know what I mean.

I have always held the theory
Our age is frozen when we meet,
The one that we love
That one we hold so sweet;

And we move forward from that day
But chronologically, we don't change,
So really, I'm just forty-six now
Come now, this isn't so strange;

Because when I was forty-six
That sweet lady, she was ten years younger,
And just one look at her
Well, I was filled with a hunger

I didn't know that I was quite so famished
I guess my best friend, could have told me,
But at the time I was distracted
It didn't matter what she sold me.
Reality wasn't working for me
Too much makeup and perfume,
Enough scent in their detergent
To clear cockroaches from the room.

I was searching for a love
And the candidates were few,
I took so long to declare my interest
All they could say was, "who are you?",
So, why should I blame them
I needed something spontaneous,
Just seek an imaginary woman
And call it extemporaneous.

So now and forever
I'm only forty-six,
And the woman that I'm with?
She's prettier than pixy-sticks.

I have always allowed
Distractions to rule,
I'll blame it on teachers
In finishing school,
Apparently, they didn't bother
To finish me right,
So I'm easily distracted
Every day and all night.

My mind jumps around
Like a hare on the savanna,
Imagine monkey's in the jungle
Chasing a banana,
No better description
Comes to mind (because it's hopping),
If I was my daughter
I would solve this by shopping.

Maybe that's why
She has a closet full of clothes,
Her bank account is empty
After paying through her nose,
For her overpriced trinkets
And fashionable frillies,
Because her mind skips around
Like a lab-rat eating chillies.

Once again proving
How distractions are my actions,
My mind is an amusement park
With a zillion new attractions,
Like a traveling circus
With its rodeo clowns,
Entertaining all the rubes
In the sleepy border towns.

Keen observations
Of a restless mind,
Every day a possibility
What will I find?
Will I trigger imagination
And inspire another?
Oh, don't count on that
Were the words of my mother.