Suffusion of sadness so tender,
What I yearn for lies inside.
In bed you await me,
Together we will hide

from those who think we have a choice
Or that one day you'll be gone.
Believe you to be transient
A bus I can hop off and on!

I marvel at the swell of you
So familiar yet never the same
I know you'll never leave me
Nor your power ever wane.

In bed I shiver with anticipation
For you're my only truth
All else is farce, and only in your arms
Can I cry as I did in youth.

Accepting life would mean losing you
So that line will never be crossed.
Pain, my faithful, constant lover, Pain:
All that remains from what I've lost

My flesh is screaming,

if the cancer is me,

Then cut me out

and set me free.

No more to endure

The sight of the shore,

While drowning capsized out at sea.



If I let myself go,

limbs aching and slow,

So close to that shore,

Then no more I’ll know

Of those I have missed

Of faces unkissed

Of drowning in tears of sorrow



But to them I will pass,

a pain that will last

Forever they’ll sail,

B’neath skies overcast.

A hurt so deep

A pain they'll keep,

My drowning will anchor them fast.



So tethered am I

to what I'm denied,

A childless mother

I must abide

By rules so cruel

Yet love is the fuel

And from drowning I shall not have died

The promise of tomorrow,
A vision oh so sweet
I saw it, felt it, held in my heart
From chaos, we would retreat.

I see you sitting across from me
Or standing by my side.
The tightness of your embrace
At once my pain subsides.

The promise of tomorrow.
A vision still so strong
I turn to look at you my love
So soon now, it won’t be long!

But your face so loved and known to me
Forms only in my my mind
Frantically I search for you:
memories are all I find.

The promise of tomorrow
Saw us through daily strife
Now never more than spectators
Will we be to that longed for life.


I hold my hurt, it twists and turns
And stabs me all day long
The world so strange, foreign and cold
To nothing I now belong

The promise of tomorrow
How can it not be true!
I has thanked even my demons,
As they had led me to you.

Do others know this thing of beauty
Does it burn for them so bright?
Never could they know what we had,
Telling me I’ll be alright.

Life goes on, or so people say
“Time will heal your pain “
I nod my head and smile bright
As I slowly go insane.

Oh how I wish I wasn’t me,
Buta glorious master of the sea,
Whose sails  have caught a steady wind
but I've dropped anchor
for I have sinned



Judgement now must soon be cast,
Much longer here I may not last,
As sky and sea start to encroach
Clouds build and gather
In dark reproach.

I turn my gaze at human kind
So much to love in them I find.
Deftly around the rocks they steer
Helping the ones that stray too near.

As do the souls that pass me by,
they fear my death and so they try;
They do not know, they cannot see
The anchor’s lodged in the soul of me

Come Armageddon, only she will survive
Crawl through destruction, though limbless, alive.
Civilization now crumbling to dust
Detritus that slices, so deeply unjust treacherous terrain bears the anger and  hate
Of society's true nature  the dead did create,
And on her arrival no pain does she feel
immune to her wounds, for the flesh ones will heal
But full is her heart with despair without end
She heaves herself upright,  her message to send:
And yells down the crater,  to whom she knows not:
"Come on mother f#@#ker, is that all you've got?"