Burn my iPad my unseen thoughts.
All my secrets in ones and naughts.
Am I in the cloud? Do I fall in rain?
When I’m gone will mist remain?

Facebook account none must see.
Digital dreams of a now lost me.
Deleted now so you can’t follow.
Was your old man ever your hero?

Was he just some prancing Gloria?
Or did, she suffer from gender dysphoria?
Shame dispersed in hidden dressers.
Silicone *******, his hidden treasures.

Discarded bras and satin slippers.
Now dead dreams of a secret Cinders.
High heels and bows, just a conceit.
These shoes to big for dainty feet.

Questions asked, thoughts suppressed.
Are all your memories to be redressed?
Did he lie, did our dad transgress?
Did he walk about in a floral dress?

Ashes scattered a dream now fading.
His secret life completely baffling.
I loved you both my life not wasted.
My soul was real my life not blighted

The mirror never lies
so the wisdom goes
see him looking back
eyes belong to me
But is that really all
all there is to see
light reflects my face
no inner eye to see?
No self, no truth, no light
Just my silent soul
Hidden from the world
It’s the silent hidden me
The pilots behind my eyes
Just a vehicle all I see
The mirror reflects the lie
My eyes tell him you’re me
Slowly I erase the mask
Hide a lifetimes damage
The lights come on
There’s someone in
The smile shines through
That soul released is me
With a sigh I feel rebirth
Limbs relax fingers unclench
I draw a long slow deep breath
Oh brave new world
That has such people in it

Energy can’t be created or destroyed.
Like Beauty there is just so much to spare.

I watch her slender form, skin golden tanned
Limbs firm and strong as she effortlessly glides past
Through a long spring green tunnel of graceful boughs
Soft emerald light filters through flickering leaves
Illuminating her freckled face as she throws it back.
Hair a flaming murmuration flocks around slender neck
*******, still forming a glimpse of womanhood ahead
Her shorts stretched over swelling hips and perfect ***.
She glances in my direction, I freezer before her form.
Soft green eyes, lips a rosy plump perfect Cupid’s bow.
I gasp, like a pensioner seeing a perfect mountain view.
I pull my legs close to me feeling the growing man.
My hair shaved short. Short back and sides, my fathers call.
I tug it, pulling, dreaming of it stretching out my cascading wish
Touching myself, feeling through my tee shirt as I make my wish
But no, nothing grows. Nothing to fill my empty cups
I could try and speak but what animal grunt would erupt
She in her perfection a reminder of what I will never be.

In a world where only so much beauty can flow
I feel my energy dissipate, dissolve and fade away.