Let's not kid ourselves,
it's a vice. Not
as destructive as snorting coke
or repulsive as Big Game
Trophy hunting but still a vice.

A quick high
that quickly wears off
followed by gloom
and postpartum depression.

Craving.
Hit.
High.
Withdrawal.
Depression.

The cycle repeats
ad nauseam.

Tried to quit.
So did you.

Sound familiar?

Yes, it's a fundraiser.
Yes, it's for a good cause.
And yes, you're a team player,
a good sport, maybe a patsy.

So you put some lipstick on that pig,
a little mascara, a little blush,
then close your eyes
and picture your high school sweetheart.
You even dare a little tongue.

Sorry folks, it's still a pig.

Pet owners: got a dude,
a feller, a sweet male
cat, dog, pigaroo?

Choose tiny snip,
not big rip.

think about the clinic
and your boy,
your bestest buddy,
waking groggily
to the shocking absence.

Say no to mutilation.
Say yes to a vasectomy.

Let the boys be boys,
Save The Nads.

It starts out with a cup of Joe
that becomes two, three, four, more

It starts out with a cigarette
that becomes two, three, four,
a pack, two packs, more

It starts out with a beer
that becomes a six, a twelve, a case,
shots in-between, more

A snort, then two, three, four, more
A pill, then two, three, four, more

Until you're in as deep as the criminals
in power who started the war

Flames--
and a kiss, eyes closed,
mouth opening--

Millennia pass.
Stars explode.
Empires rise and fall.

What a way to go.

Confused? Don't be.
The one with the most money
When he/she/they dies wins!

It's a temptation to roll
out the vocabulary,
have a parade.

On the other hand,
sometimes less is more.

Can't decide?
You're not alone.