A tweak here,
a tweak there.

As if the right word
in the right place
could salvage this mess.

But no,
a simple fix won't do.

What's wrong here
is nothing less than
pretty much everything.

So, forget the thesaurus.
Forget the band-aid.

What I need is a miracle.

Cruelty disguised as satire.
Very clever.

And, no Cartman
is not a cutesy Archie Bunker Jr.
He's Ted Bundy
only much smarter.

Don't think so.
God does not play dice with the Universe.

Gatekeeper, gatekeeper,
I'm the Big Bad Wolf let me in

Gatekeeper, gatekeeper,
I'm one of the beautiful people let me in

Gatekeeper, gatekeeper,
I have a Platinum American Express Card let me in

Gatekeeper, gatekeeper,
I'm down on my knees, let me in

Gatekeeper, gatekeeper,
hear my humble plea

"Please, oh please, just let me in"

Before I pooped my pants
in front of a live audience,
long after the age when
such a thing could be done
with impunity and without
embarrassment, I considered,
even obsessed over the possibility
or, rather, the probability of just
such a an event occurring until
it became, not merely possible
but inevitable, a self-fulfilling
prophecy so that, when it did
happen I was prepared--

I had on an adult diaper.

Blind faith, idolatry.
So tempting.

Though it's almost always misplaced.
Though our heroes always fail us.

Not their fault.
We expect too much.
We expect the impossible.

Open the cage door.
Let them go.

"I'll never tell" or "I'm telling"

Like two sides
of the same coin--
heads, tails,
neither choice bodes well.

Which is more disturbing?

I consider one way,
then the other
and conclude:

They're both really creepy