They say he was born running
and, a little later, he proved it,
toddling around in a diaper,
a fake grin on his face,
later yet, gripping hands and kissing babies,
making promises--a milk bottle
in every fridge and plenty of Gerber--
he couldn't keep, riding in the parade,
waving at the crowd, always hustling,
chasing votes, always on.

Poor *******.

It's not just that I ******
It's that to achieve even
modest competency
I had to play a piece
so many times that
I couldn't stand to play
piano anymore

So I sold the **** thing

They laughed when, hands
bound behind his back,
he ran deliberately headfirst
into a wall to try and escape
the pain

When it didn't work
they jeered and mocked

He wasn't getting off that easily

In Heaven, they spell your name correctly.

In Heaven, you have your own parking space.

In Heaven, you don't need a spam filter on your computer.

In Heaven, there are no sprained ankles or torn ACLs.

In Heaven, they play Tori Amos songs.

In Heaven, you neither sweat nor bleed.

In Heaven, there are no concussions.

In Heaven, there are no flat tires.

In Heaven, there is no male pattern baldness.

In Heaven, *** is optional and always consensual.

In Heaven, crutches, walkers and wheelchairs are superfluous.

In Heaven, meat is grown in a lab.

In Heaven, there are no guns.

In Heaven, the mailmen are friendly.

In Heaven, there are no brass knuckles.

In Heaven, the dogs do not bite.

In Heaven, the pharmacy is always open.

In Heaven, there are no hangovers.

In Heaven an afternoon nap is de rigueur.

In Heaven, we're all BFF.

Announce a competition, any competition
feature the word "Victory,"
offer a shiny Gold Medal to the winner
and watch them beat a path to your door

Me talk good
Me no talk bad
Me always happy
Me never sad

Me sleep good
Me not dream
Me like meat
Me like ice cream

Me walk good
Me don't limp
Me drive car
Me no chimp

Me not done
Me have fun

Remember Eden,
The Tree Of Life,
the forbidden fruit.
Remember Commandments.

"Thou shalt not invade
and subjugate a sovereign country.
Thou shalt not fire upon civilians.
Thou shalt not threaten nuclear war."

Take note little KGB stooge:
The territory you covet
does not belong to you.

"Thou shalt not drop bombs
on schools and hospitals.
Thou shalt not torture dissidents.
Thou shalt not ****** journalists.
Thou shalt not exploit and steal
from you own countrymen."

Little Butcher, Little Troll:

This time, you've gone too far.
This time, you've done it.

Ukraine is not yours to pilfer.
The good citizens will defeat you.
You will not and cannot win.

And on Judgment Day,
The God you disdain will
have something to say.

Wouldn't want to be you Mr. Putin.