Today’s my birthday.
You’re here with me.
You rest your hands on my shoulder.
I should be happy.
Why can I only think about
those previous birthdays
When you were with her?

Have you heard today's news?
Cancer is getting a downgrade.
There's a new BIG C on the block.

Raging lions anger against it -
no masks, no distancing, no sense?
Petrified rabbits hide indoors.
No treats, no outings, sit tense!

Where are you on the scale?
Glossing over the numbers in the news?
Disregarding them like deadly floods in far off Bangladesh
Or the wild fires in Australia
Destroying everything in their path?

Maybe you care? you clap? you chip in?
While guiltily enjoying this vacation
From the hamster wheel that's normal life?

Perhaps though you're actually on the frontline?
I can only try and guess.
Sweating through that tight mask all day
Hot breath and holding back stinging tears of rage
With no tea break to relieve you from
the coughing,
the misery,
the loneliness,
and the deaths?

Where are you on the scale?

She pats the corner of his mouth,
gently
with a tissue.
The sounds of another weary night
Ensue
As, one by one,
they cough, they die,
Cold and blue.

His rheumy eyes scan her face
She smiles
And holds his knobbly hand
In hers.
As piercing alarms
Invade their moment,
A blue army rushes
From other aisles.
She keeps his gaze.
While her angst spirals
As they surround
His bed.

In the empty silence,
She rises quietly, seeking
another hand to warm.
With the coming dawn,
She’ll mourn
Many.

It's here
Again.
Reined in
Again.
Unease
this time