I find myself caught in a contradiction,
Between liking her and feeling love’s affliction.
We met just days ago, and it’s true,
But there’s something deeper that I sense in you.

Is it the unfamiliarity that pulls me near?
The thrill of exploring what isn’t clear?
Or could it be that I’ve yet to see
Her anger, tears, and dance so free?

Last night, I heard her singing from afar,
Her voice like no other, a shining star.
Though it may be unconventional, I must confess,
Her unique melody brings my heart to rest.

So in this whirlwind of emotions, I reside,
Between liking and loving, I cannot decide.
But as we journey together, side by side,
I’ll cherish each moment and let fate be my guide.

With time, the truth will surely unfold,
As our connection deepens, uncontrolled.
But for now, let us embrace what we share,
And let love’s path lead us, if we dare.

Dear Lord, it's me again, your beloved son,
It's been so long since my words reached you, the One.
But this time, I won't spill tears about my love life,
Instead, I seek understanding of Your ways, rife.

Lord, Your path seems blurry to my weary eyes,
I struggle to discern the course that lies.
I can't see the man You wish for me to be,
In the mirror, lost in darkness is all I see.

You've spoken, Lord, but I need to understand,
Illuminate my heart with Your gentle hand.
Guide me along the path You've set for me,
So that Your purpose and will I may clearly see.

I know You have a plan, though it's not clear,
Help me trust and have faith, banish my fear.
For You are the light that will guide my way,
In Your presence, Lord, I will always stay.

So, dear Lord, I humbly seek Your divine grace,
To navigate this journey, Your love embrace.
Grant me wisdom to see through the darkest night,
And walk with me, Lord, filling my soul with light.

In Your mercy and love, my hope resides,
I surrender my doubts as the darkness subsides.
Thank You, dear Lord, for hearing my plea,
In Your presence, forever I long to be.

Amen.

14th of august
the day students raised against the system
the day students turned into soldiers
the day young boys unleashed the demons
of Steve Biko and Tsietsi Mashinene
the day young ladies marched and fourth
like our heroinic Helen Joseph and Winnie Madikizela Mandela
the day stones became weapons
to be throwed to our fathers and Mothers
who betrayed  their own children
the day corrugated metal were displayed as shields
the  day history repeated itself
and this time it was not against the white army
but with one of our own
the day unleaded students showed unity
the day vandalizing was the only communication
to be used to get a rapid realistic response
the day we lost one of our own like they lost Hector Petersen
with buckshot's
the day eggs mattered than windows
the day 14th of august 2022
brought back the history of 16 June 1976
the day that events of it will become a story
which will be told to the upcoming generations

Dear Lord Part 2

Dear Lord, it's me , Your Son
I know it's been ages since we had a chat
I can only hope I am not disturbing
Cause we need to catch up
Remember the last time I wrote to you?
My heart was full of sorrow and Pain, shattered ,  with each piece scattered all over
But Lord, I met Lorrain
Damm, I always have butterflies
And No I'm not talking about " The Queen of Butterflies Vanessa"
Look, I know I said she would be my ride-or-die
The one that will finally bring peace to mine heart
But Boy was I wrong
She blurred my vision
But now My path is clearer than day
Back to my Lorrain
We did not meet on Tinder
We met at the mall
And she said I'm tall
And I said " Short girls and Tall boys are the best"
She laughed,  and at that moment
I Knew she captured my heart
I know this might sound crazy
But I was a little Tipsy
From the consumption of substance
And also from the warmth and comfort she had around her
Then right away I asked for a warm hug
Thinking that if she refuse, I'll blame everything on the liqour
I felt pretty lame but I knew I had to try
She agreed, And she came closer
She smelled incredible , It was a high
As she hugged me
I kept feeling like I'm seeing a nightingale
Listening to it singing a charismatic ,tranquil melody
I don't know if that was true love
But it felt good and new
I want to hold on to it
Forever . . So Help me Lord 🙏🏾

since she left me
i just feel betrayed by those romantic movies
where there is always a happy ending
regardless on what the circumstances might be
is either the partner cheated ,lied , or their enculturation is acting as an asymptote, those two tend to find happiness at the end

then there is me waiting as a standby
thinking that she might come back to me one day
with a smile to her face , but that isn't a case
cause when ever we bump to each other
my face will be filled with sorrows and pain
but the best part is the love that runs through my veins
which always grows every time i see her face

eight months she has been a part of me
i know it might sound less but memories created
with those are countless
and maybe is the reason is so hard to move on
my friends say i should move on  and that the street is waiting for me
moving on might be the right thing to do
but i cant just pretend that i don't want her anymore
cause now my path seems so blur without her by my side
i know that might sound crazy, but that how deep she mean to me

on a screen they tend to come back
maybe is because words and action are those rudiments i lack
or maybe is just that my love was to much for her
or those movies are just a big joke
and they just
trying to display how love should be

you really wanna know how you make feel right?
okay babe you make me feel like am forcing things
you make me to be tossing around my bed
you got me  like am desperate for your love
but  i just need to be loved in-return by you
cause i think its a good thing to do
you got me overthinking
made me to mind my words
cause if i say something that might get into your nerves
you might leave me without a doubt
you made me to be a yes man
you really changing me to be a guy
which i never thought i will ever be
you made me to kneel down before the lord
just to express my emotions
cause you never there when i need you on my worst
you made me to be filled with amass words
which i can use to bleed on paper
and now am no-longer bleeding on paper
but bleeding in the inside
and that is eating me so bad
i have an option to leave you but i can not
cause i know i will bump into you
and all those good memories will flashback
and turns into nightmares
beside leaving you i have hope
that things will be normal again
but without trust that wont happen
cause i think you doing all those things just because trust to you is no-longer a word with meaning
and that is all my fault
i know i made you feel like you ain't alone in my life
but to me your are the only flower i gotta protect
even they say that there are many fishes in the ocean for the fisher man
but am the certified fisherman with only you
babe you know that many are called
but chosen is you
babe you are the most beautiful lady i know
and that for me is a treat cause i know it will be so easy for to get a guy whenever you want
babe I just want us to be normal again

babe sometimes you got thinking that it was not a good thing you here at turf
cause if you were never here we wouldn't be talking or feeling like this
but I just realize that maybe  its god plan to test our strength and love we got towards each other
babe you got me finding joy on our previous memories
babe I tend to listen to our previous conversations before we broke up
cause those conversations really reminds me on how happy and lovely we were
sometimes i just wish  if i had super powers just to turn back time to last year 30th July
that is the day we started sharing love
but that is just a wish which will never happen
babe you got me writing a letter full of sorrows
instead of the one full of love
babe lets fix things and cover all those scars we caused each other with some love

who is she?
her name is Vanessa
the queen of butterflies
she has that caramel skin color
she defines beauty
I can say she invented smile
she is a rare breed
she is my pillar of strength
she is my pain killer
she is my ride or die


what are her qualities in my life?
she has that body that everything is like a proper fraction
when my heart was scattered
she meandered it with her angelic voice
when love was nolonger meaningful for me
she showed me love and I tend to regain faith in love again
trust was just a word for me till she held my hand
when all I saw was darkness
she became my light
in her eyes all i saw was the reflection of the men i will become while she is by my side
when am down she become a clown just to cheer me up
i can say we are each other missing puzzle
because when we are together nothing comes to mind
than bringing paradise in our life

what am I to her?