My heart dreads him beside
the sound of his voice-
The way he belittles me-
as I have no choice.
Tuning him out as he speaks
cry quietly when I sleep-
Surrendered to this image
of who he wants me to be.
The decades lost and wasted
a prisoner to his heart-
The realization of my life
how I want to break a part.
The successes I've accomplished
shadowed by his ways-
A puppet directed by his strings-
living a lie every day.
Detached from my own self
masked behind me-
This life has never been mine-
never who I wanted to be.

Sometimes it feels like nothing
Trying to what end?
The energy wasted on emptiness
Broken and hard to mend.

The weeks are always spiraling
An inconsistent heart-
Unable to read between the lines
Should we be apart?

The love no longer exists
Living out memories-
Pretending that it's still the same
Hiding behind what used to be.

Something is hurting deep inside
A familiar feeling meant to be-
Helplessness taking over
Blinded.  Can no longer see.
Faded into memories
Words lost of what they mean-
No longer feels like reality
Like it happened in a dream.
The sadness taking over
Defeated once again-
This pain has won the battle
Constantly, with no end.

My heart is pounding hard
Lost inside of me-
Anxious about tomorrow
And where my life will be.
Where do I belong?
Where do I want to go?
What is my heart feeling
And when will I know?
Something feels like its breaking
And aching slow each day-
Lost in the world around me
Should I go or should I stay?
My heart feels like crying
A feeling so strange, so wrong-
A sudden feeling of sadness
That slowly grows so strong.
Will this pain leave tomorrow
And these feelings go away?
Will it bleed a little longer
And continue the next day?
Why is it when happiness
And a feeling so meant to be
Seems so very impossible
To stay forever with me?

There's something about his smile
That makes the negativity go away-
Where the gray skies become sunshine
He brightens up my everyday.

There's something about his laugh
That's contagious to the heart-
There's just something about his touch
Causing these flutters to start.

There's something so different about him
I can't get him off my mind-
There's these secret smiles on my face
When I think about him all the time.

There's something about his heart
So sweet and genuine-
There's a warming affect around him
Unique. One of a kind.

There's something so special about him
That I long for when we're apart-
There's a charming soul inside him
Someone so true at heart.

Feeling like a little girl
The feeling of a first crush-
The butterflies flies, the smiles
And missing him so much.

The loss of appetite
The many sleepless nights-
The constant thoughts of him
and how he holds me tight.

The unexpected smiles
with him on my mind-
The happiness I feel
is with him all the time.

Constantly thinking-
thinking about him all day
All night and every moment-
He makes me smile always.

This infatuation
happened unexpectedly-
His smile makes the days brighter,
and he makes me happy.

Preoccupied by what could be,
Wondering if you're thinking of me.
Thinking about how you make me happy-
And how we can live happily.

Deep in my heart these feelings are true-
So lost. I don't know what to do?
Wondering each day if you feel the same, too.
That soon we will both say "I love you."