Saw him take antidepressants while courting
The happiest , hardest working person around
He gave all but never fitted in
Life for community , God and ministry
Boys and I would get second best
But we had come to grips with that
His life was for heed of others


Never thought 17 years later
Lives never the same
He who abhorred suicide
Counseled dozens here and there,
Then suddenly .....
A DARK , DARK cloud .....
Tried 20 Times
O what agony....
Living in limbo and fone calls shock
Will I hear the sound of a dirge
Get my black clothes in out

Our home was a blur...
Prayers , prayers , prayers
Words of God applied to Walls
Rebuking and casting , pleads to God
Indeed the upper realm watched ...
I can testify to miracles ...split second
Every time He tried , angels stepped in....
Miracles ...

DARK clouds start to Clear
Now to blue skies
O WHAT  a Journey !!!

2 years now later
Cannot believe it and cherish each day
He has found himself
We have found him again
Possibility only from Impossibility
Since he looked Upwards !!!!

Today I faced an " enemy"
13 years turned around
Had to eat my own words and thoughts
And come to grip with my own fears

Never speak too soon
Never sit on a perch looking down
One day
It can turn around
And then up you have to Look at
The Perch where you once stood
Face to face with self

When times beyond control
Cacophony of frequencies
Everyone wants their way
Trying to keep Equilibrium
Fail


I scream Silently
It echoes throughout realms
Shakes the Atmosphere
Bounces in universes , galaxies
And stops at the Maker's Ear!

Tossed , thrown , hurled in the Unknown
Truly there is NO true
But true to Oneself
And one's maker

Let me tell you a secret
If you will But hear !!!
King Solomon couldn't get it right
So do you think you will dear ??

It will keep you guessing
Till last breathe near
Is there any  faithful really?
Mind always in the rear !  

So stop guessing , thinking, puzzling   picking , pulling out your hair!!!
Live within your own skin
Love the life within

Search the pages , stories, ....books , valleys , clefts, and crooks
Enjoy the glory of the Earth...
Stop and breathe
Hear the birds
Hear your heart beat !!!
Let it be enough
For Now!!

For surely one day
It will come to you !

Me thinks that Love
Has different meanings

True design is for a Greater love
Not about feeling or emotive

Multiplication of Mankind Mystery!
The Shadow Dragon
Replicates a ghastly Game
Forms and drafts of Shame

BUT IN TIME, when time is No
MORE !!
Love will truly
SHOW !!

I asked the Lord
Send an angel to the sea
Bring out treasure
No one needs but me

I held our my hands as a bowl
Transform it Lord from
Unseen to known
I will , we will use it
Wisely to make a difference
On the Earth.

We are here for a purpose
Bigger than Me
It will make a world of difference
Those helped will agree
So harness every every horseman
Bridle all the help

Search the unsearched
Awaken the settled silt
Heave out the rusted kist
Let is slowly see the light
Even the mouth of the fish
A gold in it a coin can find

The married ponder why
The unmarried enjoys the spoil?
What supposed to be in order
Is mangled in a bed of disarray
Sheets tell the story of betrothed
they stare to the sky ,wonder why?
Pleasure of sin is rife , free to try

It's an topsy turvy world
Senseless or really? but a tricky testing?
Comprehend can we ? Or the book says it has not entered into ones imagination?
Who wins???
Questions..........

Pain pain pain
Toil toil toil
Cacooned stuck in a fold for so long
Until that day the outer shell cracks

Catapult to the sky
My first true breathe