Hate me.
Shake me.
Why you gotta break me?

Shake me, wake me, and ******* break me. Lightness to darkness.
Darkness to light.
There is no end in sight.
You say things out of spite.
It sparks a fight.
Your break my heart in the night.
It’s clear as day.
I want you anyways.
Shake, tremble, and fall.
This isn’t no beautiful dance hall.
I remember the day
The very moment that I fell in love you.
What a mistake I’ve made.
I gave my heart only to be betrayed.
When will I learn?
At this point it almost feels like never.
Who am I?
I’m not even me when I’m with you.
No, I can’t be myself when I’m around you.
Artificial unsettled me.
Chaotic world.  
Stressful, anxiety- filled atmosphere.
I need to find a way to walk away.
I just can’t do this anymore.
You’re not for me.
I’m not for you.
Lord help you find your way through
Your own craziness.
I pray for you.
You could be a good man but you’ve proven to me it will not ever be for me.
Two years too long here we go
Spinning around endlessly
Until we fall and crash into one another.
Bruised and pained from all the hurt.
Yet we keep holding on as if there’s a chance of hope but why?
We know where we’re headed.
It’s time to put an end to what isn’t even in true existence.
We’re only failing ourselves.
Holding onto artificial hope.
I do love you but I believe it’s time we help each other up and off the ground.
It’s time to shake heads and wish one another farewell.
Farewell my dear friend.

Up in my head.
Floating in the clouds.
Nowhere to go.
Nowhere to be.
Wish I could just be let free.
Eleven years later I’m thinking it’s still the easiest way out.
Easily misplaced and replaced.
Misunderstood.
Just trying to find a place to hide in this hood.
Home isn’t a familiar term.
What is home?
A safe place to hide.
I’m dying inside.
Unretrievable.
Completely deceivable.
There ain’t no place to hide from this.
Can’t even mentally escape myself.
Not unless I choose the unsober path.
It’s an unbreakable cycle.
Ocean rises above me.
There’s no stopping the current from taking me under.
Let the ocean take me
Or swim into it to find an escape?

You’re the monster in my head.
The poison in my bed.
The reason that I tread.
I’ve been mislead.
You’ve left to me rot instead.
And now I’m almost dead.

You don’t have to settle. It’s your life.
No matter which life you choose or chose as long as you don't get knocked up you CAN unchoose it. If you took your last breath would you cry a happy tear or a sad tear? Choose it well.

From river to lake to ocean
The waves just grow larger and more fierce as time goes on.
Shame on me.
Shame on you.
What did we do?
We threw each other out to sea
And now we’re fighting for what’s not meant to be.
How could it be that it’s gotten this far? This extreme.
I cannot even look at me.
My heart is sinking.
My stomach is in a never-ending tightening knot.
I hang my head as my soul withers away.
Silent tears fall from my face.
A heart so heavy, fear and shame is all over my name.
But you, how could you?
I gave you a million chances and you just let it burn down to ash.
You don’t understand me.
You don’t get me.
You don’t hear me.
I can scream in pain but it’s never enough.
You just mentally run away and hide in your own space.
I told you we’re not meant to be.
I told you it’s over between you and I
But you refuse to agree.
You refuse to accept the truth.
We fight.
We get in the sheets.
We get high.
Put it all on repeat.
It’s nothing but a vicious cycle.
Can’t you see?
I’m bleeding internally.
You’re bleeding physically.
We’re cursed.
Or just not meant to be.
We need to set each other free.
Let’s let each other just be.
You say you’re in love with me
But none of it can be.
After all this time
After all the pain
All the sleepless nights and
Screaming battle fights.
Yelling turned to physical touch.
I told you just to back away.
Get out of face.
Stay out of my way.
But you don’t listen.
You never do.
It’s gone too far.
We can’t take anything back.
What’s done is done.
I’ve hurt you.
You’ve hurt me.
This is just one ****** up relationship and “love” if you ask me.
Just when I think I can walk away you pull me back in.
Stop it.
We have to walk away.
Let go of my arm.
Let go of my hand.
There’s nothing to hold onto.
We barely never had anything at all.
Yet I’m dying inside from emotional and mental pain and now ******* shame.
We need to close door.
At the same time.
Better days are to come
But riding along each other’s sides
Isn’t where we belong.
We’ve been in this far too long and now we have scarred each other for life.
I’m so sorry.
Sorry it got this far.
This out of control.
I wish you would just walk away but you have such a tight grasp.
But onto what?
Because we ain’t got nothing but a poisonous love.

Days are getting longer.
Thoughts are getting smaller.
Silence creeps in as words grow colder.