There are some bruises
collected along the way
that I just never
talk about.

Words, said and unsaid.
Backs turned away.
Eyes, staring fierce
or just turned down

People sometime leave a mark –
probably never knowing
they put a dent in some
unsuspecting heart.

I would guess
I’ve left some too.

Sometimes, I just find a busy street
and walk around and smile at people.

Most of them
Look away
Look down
Look surprised
Look angry
Look back with that
“who the hell are you” look.

But once in a while
someone surprises me
and smiles back.

People with no morals
consider themselves to be
better than the rest of us.

They are not constrained
by laws of God or man,
by honor or integrity

So they are truly free
to create havoc in the world,
without fear of consequences

They make good politicians.

If I could do it all again,
Live my life from start to end,
doing everything the same
is what I’d do -
except the part of losing you.

Love is like a sail boat.
Hope is the wind and
dreams are the sails,
carrying you through
life’s rough seas,
always to home

My sails are
torn and tattered.
My hull is leaking
lying battered,
on the rocks of
Isle Alone.

Tonight the Black Ink River flowed
like coffee from an old cold cup
poured slowly down the drain.

I woke up screaming, and
thinking you were gone,
I went running down the hall
calling out your name.

You stepped out from
the bathroom door, smiling,
and gently touched my hand
and made the night OK.

And then I awoke again.
and you were
gone.
And the Black Ink River flowed

When I found the note
that said
you were moving in
with your lover
I thought it meant me.

I don’t understand why
people fear the darkness.
Do they not close their eyes
to give a loving kiss,
and trust the ultimate unknown?

I pull the blankets overhead,
wrapped around you,
surrounded by the darkness
where we see with only hands.

Sometimes someone passes
through your life, and
years later you cross paths
again, and that’s when
you realize you didn’t know
what you had back then

And then you realize
how lucky you were
you didn’t know.
Because you might not have
what you finally have now.

There is a right
time and place
to say
“I love you”

That time and place
is when you feel it
and know it
and need to share it.

The only other
time and place
might be never
or too late.

You thought
you should go.

I thought
you should stay.

You won.
Forever away.

It was a beautiful hello
Eyes met
Hands touched
Heart dreams collided

It was a beautiful goodbye
To lonely and alone.

Sometimes I feel the pieces of me
are no more than
socks and underwear,
randomly stuffed in a drawer,
symbols of the pieces of a man
stuffed not so neatly in a mind.

Today I’ll put on yellow socks,
blue pants and green striped shirt,
red baseball cap with
Batman tennis shoes,
and other random choices.

And everyone who sees me knows
my brain works randomly like my clothes.

We’d been at church all Friday night,
drinking the holy water.
And on the way to somewhere else
We stopped to buy more blessed stuff

A case of beer, I said,
and I will ride my bike
from here to there
across the railing of this bridge.

A dark steel flowing arch,
at least 10 inches wide
would take me on my midnight ride
over the river to the other side.

My headlight pierced the moonless night
As up the rail I rode.  I yell
You will all owe me –
And then -- OH HELL!

On the down side of that steel belt
The light shone out into only darkness,
And not onto my narrow path.
The tire slipped off the edge – and FELL

Hanging on the bridge, I watched
that 40 foot slow motion trip
and cried out #&%!#@&%$
when I heard it hit.

My bike in pieces
on the rocks below,
the remains a remainder
of a drunken ego.

Ok, it’s 2 AM and
I am sitting in a
dim-light room
staring at a computer
writing prose
about living life.

What a contradiction!

Everyone gets a box
of marbles in their life.
Shooters by the score.

And every day we pull one out
And shoot it at the world.

Sometimes you move the world;
sometimes it swallows you up.

But tomorrow you always get
another marble.

My family thinks
I am very smart
but not so very wise
because when I think of
something smart to say
I am not wise enough
to just shut up.

We loved
therefore
I was.
And am
No more.

Today
Was a lot like yesterday.
It rained, I sat
in a room alone
thinking of you
and what almost was
and now is not.

Tomorrow
I will sit in a room alone
thinking of you.
It could have been – but isn’t.
It might have been – but wasn’t.

Someday
I will get up
and leave this room
where I sit alone
and think of you.
I will forget Almost and Maybe.
But not today.

What will we remember
in the coming years,
if all this ends in tears?

If passion become patience
and dancing becomes TV
and I love you
becomes good-night?

What will we remember?
Good times or just good byes?

She passed in December –
No time is good, but
that seems the worst.

Until you remember
God decorates the heavens
At Christmas first.

She stabbed me in the heart, and
walked away without looking back.

The pain is slowly killing me –
someone please, pull out the knife.
Hold me, kiss me, give me life.

Sometimes,
in the dead of night
I remember us.
Not how we started
or even how we ended.
Just the goodness
of being us

At the corner of
Justice Way and MLK Drive
he set up a booth
under a light
and a sign that read
Right of Way

He put up a banner
over his booth –
Media Must Always
Tell The Truth.

The press rallied ‘round
and tore the booth down
and shot out the light –
no one could tell them
the Way of Right.

Poetry is that secret panacea
meant to be shared
by those who pain so badly
that only literary
band-aids help.

Just a random thought –
It is truly a wonder that
husbands are not pretty close
to being perfect people
when you realize
how very often
their errors and transgressions
are pointed out to them

Falling in love isn’t a plan
Somehow, it happens ,
and somewhere
eyes just meet eyes
and both know
at last
I’ve found you.

Don’t leave me alone.
It’s not that I am
afraid of the dark
or monsters under the bed.
I don’t hear noises
or fear knocks on the door.
I don’t watch scary movies
Or have nightmares.

Please just don’t leave me alone.
I am already that.

Been holding on, doing ok
Kinda, some days.
Not really though
Just what I say

I keep moving on,
Running through the night
Down this nowhere road
With no guiding light

Tired of feeling
like just getting by
and losing hope
at the speed of life.

Just where she is
and where she goes
and why
but her God knows

and where he lies
in restless rest
and cries
her God cares less.

I love
You love
We love

I love you
You love me
We love us

He comes
He loves

He loves you
You love him

I go
You stay
He stays

I cry
You love
He loves

Be kind to me
with soft words and looks
and I promise to be
not man enough to love,
and hurt.

I will be kind to you,
with words enough, and looks
to make you glad to have me stay
a little while,
with no regrets that I am finally gone.

Sometimes,
just sometimes,
I feel your presence still
and hope
you are not alone
or unhappy
or afraid of tomorrows.

Sometimes.
Just in some quiet times
or in a crowded room.

For the first time ever, I understand
how hard it is to be a man.

You’re smarter than the other guy
but only half the time.

And smarter than the women –
NEVER

Hey! Someone somewhere!
It’s me, over here.
Another someone somewhere
looking too.

Looking everywhere,
both ways at every corner,
for someone somewhere,
lurking, searching too.

Love is a colossal flying kite
and all you can do
is hold on by a thread
until is slips away
or comes crashing down.

I’ve had so many
cuts and stabs and
holes punched in me
by the women who
passed through my life,
that when a new one
comes along and
we drink a toast to us
I leak all over
everything we try to be.

We always talked about forever.
Now, as I walk down the hall
the last time
turn and look in your eyes
the last time,
walk out and close the door
the last time
I realize –
Gone is forever too.

Man is basically just
heart and soul and mind..

Some lose heart
and become the cruel,
who care only for themselves
and no others.

Some lose soul
and become the evil,
who care nothing about
damaging the world.

Some lose mind
and become the crazy,
who care little about
reality and truth.

Some lose all three,
and become politicians

I know God has a reason
for every one he calls
to join Him
in His hallowed halls.

But I still miss you constantly,
fond memories still bring pain.
I use my mental braille at night
to feel your body once again.

I’ve lived here all my life –
At least that’s how it seems.
I always thought I’d spend these years
Living out my dreams.

But I’m not what I thought I’d be
When I started down this road
Thirty years of busted dreams
Is a real **** heavy load

I’m going home, find my favorite chair
I’m finished with this fight
My heart is tired, my soul is sore
Tonight might be the night

The hate you give
lives.
In the souls of those you love,
who learn to hate like you,
and the souls of those you hate
who learn to hate you in return.

The hate you give
grows.
It spreads to those
who surround you
and spreads to those
who surround the ones that hate you.

The hate you give
creates war.
Between religions
and regions
and colors
and haves vs have nots

The hate you learn
becomes the hate you give.
Only you can
unlearn your hate
and break the chain
of hate you give.

THE 3 O’CLOCK NEWS

It’s not your back
they said.
The problem’s
in your head.

The lump,
they said,
is unreachable
untreatable.

There’s nothing we can do
they said
under the knife
to save your life.


GUINEA PIGS

When hope seems gone
And days seem dark
I drop to one knee
And think of 23.

Fifteen and me,
the untreatables,
agreed
to experimental surgery.

One by one,
we dropped,
to 10, then 6, then 3
then only me.

Sometimes I question why  
I was the one to survive
But mostly I thank God
I am one alive.

If there were some way,
If I could find it,
I would leave this body behind.

Undress completely
From my bones
And leave my flesh.

I would be silence,
Void of any thought,
Totally absent of me.

I would forget
my breath
and all my sounds.

I would walk on hands
In fear of footprints,
Tracks of a five-toed bird.

I would become an absence
Of words, thoughts, memories:
A five-toed bird taken to flight

And in a year
Of all dark days
I would be forgotten

Tomorrow is my song.
Always tomorrow
with its chance of change.

On tomorrow
perhaps somewhere else
perhaps someone else
will step from falling leaves
or falling snow
or falling rain
and I will be there to meet her
and no longer need tomorrow.

But tomorrow is my song today.
Always tomorrow.
But I need.
Today.

Frail old woman,
***** hands, gray hair,
at the corner, sign in hand.
Eyes cast down, standing there.

And then I paused
and wondered why –
why was she standing there,
and why do we all drive by?

She has to be
somebody’s mother
or wife or sister.
Has she no one to love her?

Has she no place to go,
no place to be?
If Biden wins that surely
one day will be you and me.

Death will come -
no one will beat the odds.
So why live life so cautiously,
that when it comes,
you regret the path you’ve taken.

Our lives are meant
to challenge all the odds,
to love and laugh and live
a life so full that
death is just a punctuation mark.

I have a friend,
named Pen Dulum,
a handsome man
who loves the pretty ladies.

And sometimes
my friend Pen
also loves the
big, stout lads.

So I guess it’s true,
what everyone says.
My friend Pen
swings both ways.

Women are the #1
cause of drinking.

When you find the right one
and times are fun,
you drink to celebrate.

When the right one
becomes the wrong one,
you drink to forget

And when there isn’t one,
and you are hoping for one,
you drink to pass the time.

Tell me what you’re feeling.
I know that’s not an easy thing.
Tell me if your leaving.
My heart can take the pain

Tell me what you’re thinking –
do we still have a chance?
Tell me what you’re hoping,
or is this our last dance?

Even if this is goodbye –
(that IS my greatest fear)
tell me what you want to say,
not what I want to hear.