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61 · Jun 2020
We cannot rewrite history
Chané Jun 2020
As I’m forever told the past is written in stone, no washing that away by the shore, hoping the clouds fade away, making the sun shine brighter, but sadly there is no rainbow at the end of a deadly storm, clearing out the hurt and pain caused by humanity.
I’ve walked this earth with blistered feet in search of a better tomorrow, hoping that someday people would improve and I could trust and be whole again, but sadly if logic minds do not prevail, then seeing eye to eye will become a mere connotation, true words spoken in jest.
The fundamental broken right from the start, so no foundation to build upon, blinded by misguided trust, taught to you from a young age, so it ought to be true, not knowing the intentions not to be pure or honest at the very beginning to your introduction to mankind. Leaning on those that never grabbed your arm but rather held you back, sheltering you from the true beauty and bestowing the horrendous tales you’d only pray to see in movies.
From a young age I’ve learned to accept that’s the way it is, it’s a mans world no point in denying, they are the superior race, or so they’d like to make you think, prey on the weak while destroying the tough, boasting their strength reminding you who has power leaving you defenceless against it all, when do I stand up declaring my worth or just sit down and do as I’m told for that’s how I was raised, to always listen, never talk back and always say thank you, well do I thank you for removing all faith I’ve ever known and replacing it with obscure versions of events. Taking all meaning and leaving it pointless to discover, shall I take comfort in knowing you accomplished it all. From the age of innocence I’ve learned to lie to better the story no matter the consequence of the outcome and bound to me like a ball and chain in order to protect the reputation of those that would no quicker forget their loyalties in return.
Shall I thank thee, for providing the knowledge, prepared me for those that intent harm while I was deceived into thinking it agreeable to any other after you. Thank you mankind, for you never fooled me right from the start.
51 · May 2020
This life
Chané May 2020
Aches and pains, that’s all I have lately. The whole **** zoo seems to have found its way to my stomach, stomping their way through. Can’t seem to shake the feeling, that I’m too late, the party is over, spent all my time preparing, I missed the main event. Trying to catch up to you, but the disco bus left without me. Is this my life, forever late, never measuring up to the expectations set out by society, so focused on the past, I took my eye off the future, forgot to live in the present. Desperate to feel loved, but closed off to all that show affection, convinced most have the worst of intentions, scared by everything this life has offer. So far, all I’ve received in return, is heartache and disappointment. Distracted by my own pain, can’t even see, there are others that are hurting, if not worse than mine. Does that make me selfish or just blind. Wish I could go back to seeing the world through rose coloured glasses, it looked so spectacular back then, but since you left, well a dark sheet seems to have taken your place, or maybe I can finally see what the world truly is. Questioning if this is what I want to be apart of, but no ambition to make a change for the better, MJ said it starts with the man in the mirror, but how do you change if you see no reflection. Wanting to be heard, but no words come out, simply a mere whisper. This life is not for the faint hearted.
45 · May 2020
Words unspoken
Chané May 2020
If I had to part with this world, atleast I could go with with an honest answer, to say yes, I felt what it feels to be broken hearted, but also, to be hopelessly, madly inlove, even if it was never reciprocated by whom I desire to share this crazy world with. You have opened my eyes, and perhaps my heart, when I thought all was lost, you were the dim light that never went out, shinning bright in the distance, leading the way, reminding me, there is still beauty in this thing we call life. If today was my last day on earth, I can happily say, you showed me, the true meaning of love, to love whole heartily. I never expected to feel this, but boy am I glad I did, because now, I’ll settle for nothing less, other than to feel the great power. They say love conquers all, well you’ve taken all my might, left me defenceless against you, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, would not change a single thing, for now I can honestly say, I now understand, this life would be worth any heartache, with you as a distraction. You are my muse, and it yearns for you, wanting more than just a memory. They say a moment lasts all of a second, but a memory lasts a lifetime. You’ve changed my world in so many ways, that without you, it all seems pointless, but with you, you bring meaning. If only you could see, just how magnificent you are to me. I never understood the true meaning of love, that was, until I met you, I love you. Oh how it feels amazing to finally say aloud, I could say it over and over and never get bored, you intrigue me, entice me for more, but I know, our paths may never meet again, but if they did, I would hold you and never let go. Have I said too much. The matters of heart, well they often go unsaid, unheard, and merely tossed aside, well I can’t live this life without saying them to you, without showing you, how I glow when you are near, how I beam when someone mentions your name. I love you, I have from the moment I first saw you, never believed in love at first sight, that was until you walked into my life. It hasn’t stopped spinning since. I love you, I love you now, and I love you always.
44 · May 2020
Heartbeat
Chané May 2020
They say a rhythm is made of five beats, well mine seems to skip a beat every time you are near. The thought of your touch sends sheer shivers down my spine, freeing the butterflies that made their homes in my stomach. My head in a daze remembering the days that were filled with so much fun. The moment of impact, like a kaleidoscope of dreams, it all comes rushing back, but you never do. Hits me hard, like a tilde wave, flipping me overboard, drowning at sea. I would do it all again for just one more moment of impact. One last kiss. Your lips pressed up against mine; your hands around my waist, holding me as if there were no tomorrow. One last time to say goodbye.

— The End —