Through all your burdens in life you stood tall
Not taking grace in every fall
Seeking a hand to lean on
Seeking a soul to tell you, you are strong
Letting go of all past fate
Nothing can interrupt this road, so narrow and straight
You followed your heart and tried to live out your dreams
But every minute of every hour got ripped from the seams
Hopelessly in death you wait
Seeking the help of the lost, seems too late
Recklessly on your knees you land
Never reaching out for the sympathetic hand
You cried your tears alone
While my heart grew as cold as stone
Seeking comfort in the shoulder you pushed away
Blocking out the screams and cries echoing day after day
Your path of life has lost its will
Every memory captured in a frame, standing still
The dust of every year still remains
No cleansing touch to wash away the stains
Tears staining the covers every night
The feeling of self control turns numb after every fight
My words and tears shattered down the hallway
As I stand here pleading for you to stay
With a simple empty smile
You realize you lost everything traveling that extra mile
You cry words of guilt and self pity on the other end
Through life, for myself, I would have to vend
You lost the most important part of you through your selfish cries
Now I’m standing here, holding out my hand, and whispering “atleast I tried”
You look at me with deception
Knowing throughout life, your pain was my resurrection
The sun will shine for you again someday
And when it does, I won’t be standing in your way
I’ve lost every anointing feeling for you amongst your false words
Knowing I was alone for so long, yet to you it never occurred
You have suffered your pain and hardships
And tagging me along, never losing the strength in my grip
You fought for what your life was worth
But losing all hope on the day of birth
I sat in a corner, hearing you scream
Tell me, was this your fulfilling dream?
You always whispered “reach for the stars”
Even though selfishly believing I would never get far
You let me run without holding me back
Knowing in my heart, all you ever are is everything I lacked
Turns out this Apple fell far from its tree
But you were too blinded with obsession to see
I can’t say I forgive you for what you have done
You found faith in the pills, razors, bullets and gun
This chapter of my life has ended
It was the selfish lies of death, you befriended
These four walls are hopelessly closing in
In your state of being, you convinced yourself, you were free from sin
I won’t cry your tears for you anymore
I will walk away when you crumble to the floor
It’s hard to sit here and say what I need
But for your whole life, your happiness was feasting off your greed
Hate is a strong word but I will use it
Again, as selfish as you are... Your wrists, you will slit
What happened to the days when you use to be my hero?
Now in your life, you have nothing left to show
Psychotically you believe you tried
Just know, to me, that belief was a never ending lie
Burning hurtful memories will be carried to the grave
After all this time in my life, I can finally mutter “I’m okay”
Written in 2009 during a fit of rage 🙈