In public my face is hard
In public my heart is stone
In public my fists are clenched
In public my eyes do stare
In public my back is straight
In public my voice is harsh
This is not me

In private my face is smiling
In private my heart is blue
In private my hands are warm
In private my back does bend
In private my eyes reflect
In private my voice is tempered
This is me

I wonder why the real me is afraid
So many years of this mess I made.
Hidden myself away for all this time
Like I'd committed some horrible crime
The real me has always wanted to break out.
But for so long been full of doubt
So now time is passing me by
I wonder if its to late to try

So I came to this conclusion
That life is just an illusion
Your here today gone tomorrow
With bites of joy and lots of sorrow
Time as a child swift and enlightening
Teenager years mysterious and frightening
Young adult decade building a future
House and a spouse hope they will suit you
Into your thirties mortgage and children
The house that was home us more like a warren
The middle years a crisis is coming
Motorbike revving leave the engine running.
Its getting late time to check on your savings.
Make sure you have enough for all your cravings
So now your rocking in your favorite chair
Look round for your family but realise your in care
People visit you your name the do mention
But your mind is fading into dementia.
Now doctor sleep is stood at your bed
You just woke up to find you are dead.

Just one dark winters night
We had a drunken lovers fight
You reached out and found  a knife
That would ultimately end this life

Cold hard steel it did pierce
As your ****** was so severe
My heart was beating oh so strong
Then the blood did start to run

So now as I start to fade
Pierced by this cold steel blade
Your face through a haze is what i see
Forgiveness is what you ask of me

As I am taking my last breaths
Knowing that I'm close to death
You kneel lovingly  by my side
I whisper tell them it was suicide

Tears are in you big brown eyes
All I can hear is your desperate cries
You keep on screaming why, why
But I will love you till I die

For life they said fifty pence.
Such a commitment for one to make.
Strong and durable they said.
All for fifty pence I said.
If it doesn't last a life,we will replace.
I wondered if that was me or the bag.
So seduced by possible immortality.
I paid the princely sum.
This is my life for bag.

I was in the garden playing in my tent.
Mummy said I could live in there but I must pay rent.
My sister she joined me and said we could live together.
I said that would be lovely as long as its forever.
All our dolls in the tent were fast asleep.
It was ever so quiet you couldn't hear a peep.

I had laid a lovely blanket down for my bed.
And rolled up some towels as a pillow for my head.
My sister had a sleeping bag that zipped up at the side.
She liked to crawl all the way inside and try and hide.
But the zip got stuck and no matter what it wouldn't turn.
She struggled in the sleeping bag like a big fat worm.

We both had some sandwiches and a bottle of fizzy.
But I drank it down too fast and it made me dizzy.
We also had a lovely big piece of chocolate cake.
It was very yummy it was one my mum did bake.
Soon the sun went in and it started getting chilly.
Mum said time to come in,I said dont be silly.

So we will leave the tent up until tomorrow.
Because taking it down would fill us with sorrow.
So it's time to go in and wash our hands and face.
We both tried to get in at once and it turned into a race
So at last we are in our lovely warm bunk beds.
Off to sleep with dreams whizzing round in our heads

In the winter it's wet and dark.
This rain keeps up we'll need an ark.
Soon the puddles they turn to streams.
Not the type of weather for ice creams.

Wellies and hats is what we wear.
Jumping in puddles without a care.
The playground is all wet and muddy.
Glad I'm wearing my favourite hoddie.

Wind blows the leaves from the trees.
In some places they are upto our knees.
A plastic bag blows past onto a parked Mazda.
I recognise the brand it's from Asda.

The sun tries to poke through the clouds.
Come on sun do yourself proud.
But a big dark rain cloud moves in front.
All the kids give a dissatisfied grunt.

The wind picks up the cloud is thinning.
There's a chance the sun could be winning.
It tries to shine on our cold little faces.
Come on sun pretend your at the races.

At last the sun has broken through.
We knew you would,we stayed true.
So keeping on shining on oh so bright.
Because in a few hours it will be night.

The farmer he had a cow called Mary
She was full of milk for the dairy
So the farmer started to pull her udder
But his cold hands made her shudder

Please,please said Mary to the farmer
Cant you make your hands warmer
If you could just try and be gentle
Then you wouldn't drive me mental

So the farmer put his hands in warm water
Because he didn't want to upset the bulls daughter
Now his hands were warm and kind
He approached Mary from behind

Stop,stop Mary said with a moo
You really do not have a clue
Dont approach me from the rear
Come to the side were it is clear

So now the farmer was at last ready
On the milking stool he made himself steady
So the udder he was pulling and pushing
And all at once the milk came gushing

Thank you Mary said the farmer
Because of you I feel much calmer
That's okay said Mary eating some hay
I think we've got enough milk for today

So after milking Mary went to the cow shed
We she laid down her sleepy head
She realised all her work was done
As she used her tail to whack a fly off her ***