standing there I saw her eyes
her green eyes
they were shinning Evan though she was dying
no one seemed to hear her cried
no one seemed to Evan look at her
its like she was a shadow
she hid in the corners
never letting anyone in
running away from her self and everyone else
she was so delicate but no one seemed to notice that
they only saw what they wanted to see
but they didn't see the real her

I though we were meant to be together forever
I know it sounds cheesy but you are my one true love
We promised each other in front of witnesses that we would be together till the day we die
All those beautiful years we spent together I will always keep them closed in my heart
Those memories will never be replaced
I wont have the same connection that I had with you with anyone else
I know I should move on and find love but I physically cant
Those precious moment that we shared I cant imagine sharing them with someone else
Ive tried putting myself out there again
But it didn’t feel right it just wasn’t it
You showed me true love and I will alleys be grateful for that
You made me a happier person
Everyday was a new adventure with you and I couldn’t wait what the next day would bring
But now I am scared of the next day I don’t want it to come
Because suddenly you left
And now im scared that something else or someone else might leave
Im emotionally scared I cant look at life in the same way
I have the bit of love you left in my heart and the memories that replay in my head
I just wish I could make those memories with you and hold you close so I could hear your heart beat
I keep on too the thoughts and feelings because that is the only thing that is left
The love that you bought me is the only thing thats keeping my heart beat
I live for you and only you.

My body is going in a different state
A state that no one should ever enter
Its something I don’t wish on anyone
You can not control it you just cant
Your body turns off
it stops responding to the surroundings around you
Its stops functioning
Your brain is in a buzz
Your body cant stop shacking
Your heart it thumps so hard and fast like it wants to escape your chest like it wants to run away
Your eyes they cant open its like your in a loud and fast tornado
It keeps going around and around
It doesn’t stop when you want it to it only stops on its own terms
The only thing you can do is wait for it to stop
And when it finally stops you wont be the same person again….

We need too both let go breaks are good for everyone to take
We need to both figure out our priorities
And what we both need
We need to both figure out if we want to still be in a friendship
Right now Im confused and need time
i need time to breathe I need time only for myself
This will do us both good
We cant keep going like this
I just feel emotionally drained
And not myself
Im always on edge and my blood bubbles inside of me
I need time to think about all of this
I need to sort out my mind and my soul
I want to feel at peace because im in a constant rush
I just need myself to myself.

You rule my heart
Only you know how to approach me
You know how to make me feel like me again
I needed that someone who would put me in my place and show me who I am
Because I loose myself a lot but you always seem to find me
You know how to help me through my ruth times
And you know which places to touch
You know how to put me in heaven
You know all my soft spots and you use them well
You know how to make me tingle
And make me feel free again
When im with you I feel my true self coming out
And only you make that happen.

People can hit you like a train on a train track
They can hit you so hard that you wont know who you are anymore
They can rush through your life
They can take you on a journey
They can take you through a tunnel and then on a bumpy road
They can show you beautiful sights
They may also throw you of or take you along
But hold on tight because it might not be a pleasant journey
You may feel such sickness that you just want to click a button and get off
But the doors are closed you cant just escape like that
Its a life long journey that everyone faces
Some people may decide to smash the window and jump out
And all I can say is that many of us have felt that way
and many of us have done that
Many of us have jumped out
I will forever think of those who have
I wish I was there to hold them tight
And fassen there seat belts tights
I wish I was there to talk to them and offer them food and water
And tell them that road wouldn’t always be this rocky

When you said „forever” did you really mean FOREVER
Was it just „i will love you until I still feel like it”
Was i just a „thing”?
Just a little „thing” to pass the time with
Was it just love for now not forever
Then why did you kiss me and let me catch feelings
If you knew from the start it was just a „thing”
Well for me it wasn’t just a „thing”
You were my love the person I fought I would spend the rest of my life with
Thats what you said, you said you wanted children you wanted to build a future with me
You made me fall so hard for you I would of done anything for you
Then it turns out I was just a „thing”
A little game that you liked to play
You liked to tell me these lies and then see me fall for them
You loved seeing me weak seeing me fall hard
The more you rolled the dice and the higher the numbers came up
You felt more power over me
And i felt more broken, more damaged
I didn't see you as a bad person I saw you as a loving person because I didn’t see your plans
I only saw you
But maybe I didn’t
Because if I saw the true you I would of ran away
But you wanted me to stay
Stay so close
Then drop me
Finally I cracked...