Happy birthday


I feel I’ve known you all my life
Even though we have just met
You mean the world to me already
I love you, Svet.

And though I am not with you
My wishes travel across the sea
So take my wish and hold it close
It’s a happy birthday from me

And someday we will meet
And we can take a walk in the woods
And you and I will be together
Just like we always should.

Look past
The scars and bruises
And pain I try to hide
The tears and dreams
And hurt I hold inside

Look past
The sudden outbursts
And anger on a whim
And the mistakes and missteps
And places that I’ve been

Look past
The cold ice wall
The fortress where I hide
This building of solitude
I built this with my pride

Look past
All the mistakes
The rivers of tears that stream
And the anger that I have
And see the real me

The real me
Who laughs when I am happy
And cries when I am hurt
And giggles in the night
And who questions my own worth

The real me
That gets carried away
And loves to dance and sing
And follows my imagination
When no one is watching

The real me
Who loves to listen to stories
And giggles like a kid
Whenever I am happy
Happiness I never hid


The real me
Who is actually lonely
For a true friend
Who is loyal to a fault
And will go with you to the end

The real me
Who tries to hard
And goes against His plan
This is the real me
The one He holds in His hands


In His Hands
I am happy
I am safe and warm
I know He’ll forgive me
And that I’m cared for

In His Hands
Where I am safe
Where I can be set free
Where I am loved
Where I can be just me

So look past
And see
The real me
In His Hands

Thundering sky
Whistling wind
Makes me forget
The world I am in

Shattering lighting
A story does tell
Of a girl in the sky
Who is not well

Her mother and father
Tears freely cry
Singing to her
A lullaby

“I am sorry my daughter,
My dear, my child,
How I do wish
To see your smile.”

“But now your body
Is becoming cold
Before your time
Before you’re old”

“And you will never run
And you will never smile
I’m so sorry
My dear, dear child”

And so the parents rock her
While tears they cry
They begin to release her
So that she can fly

“It’s ok if you want to go
I know you suffer
So please join the stars
We have one another.”

And so she went.

Sometimes
I can’t say anything right
So I stay silent.

Mama, I know you care
I cherish your words
I know you have your reason
I am sorry that you hurt.

Leila, you are independent
You are beautifully strong
You have made me feel welcome
I feel like I belong.

I feel I’ve known you all my life
Even though we have just met
You mean the world to me already
I love you, Svet.

They said we couldn’t make it
We said we’d give it a try
And now I’m working away from home
Just so we can survive.

My wife I know she loves me
My kids I know they try
Baby know I’d do anything
To lighten up your life.

And now there’s storms around us
Try to forget, just try
But my mind is on my daughter
Struggling for her life

My son, he’s lost his way
And I know how hard he tries
But every time he says he loves me
I know that it’s a lie

My daughter she’s broken,
I don’t know how hard she tries
To keep her demons at bay
She no longer thrives

My family is fractured
But we’re still trying
To keep us all together
Help us, God Almighty.

Words in my head
That I didn’t put there

Slowing morphing to action
That I could never think of

It’s not my hand
Its not my mind

Someone else
Is in control