mother,
why does it hurt?
why is my heart in pieces?
like shards of glass
that ***** my hands?
and when i try to put them back,
why does it cut deeper?
was i made to bleed,
and flow the way my tears do?
i was told to think before i speak
but now i overthink even when asleep.
my dreams were alive last night.
were they supposed to scare me?
because it was the least lonely i had been.
when tomorrow comes,
will you be here?
or will you disappear again,
just like today?

where winds will blow
and leaves may fall
again, tomorrow
the birds will call
when words are hollow
and dark like night
oh, i will follow
till it turns light

incoherent,
my words to ears
but in right hands,
they will hear
for they may seem
like grains of sand
but if aligned,
it’ll all make sense

dearest megan,
my sweetest friend
our time is coming
to an end.
but what will halt,
will never leave
our friendship
lasts for eternity.

when my grave is dug,
my soul will whisper rhymes of love
and they will wrap around you.

even at this moment,
my soul sings fearful songs
of the pain of loving you
that seem to only reach for your ears.

but you seem to push them away.
yet even as you do,
they linger around you.

until forever,
fear will bind me like your presence.
but it would be worth enduring,
if it means that you’d be happy.

my bones turn cold around you
they freeze and crack under your presence
emotions and tears form a whirlpool
between you and i, our distance

buzzing bees
windy breeze
swaying trees
falling leaves

magical.

until you get;
chased by bees
tangled hair
falling sticks
a nightmare.

will it ever halt
this unnerving feeling
the walls it has built
all around me
there is barely room to breathe
the ringing in my ear
becoming the only thing i can hear
sudden shivers
sweaty palms
shaking legs
darting eyes
when will it stop?

circling
spiraling
something then nothing
silence
surrounds
silence, then
spirals and motions
under the notion
left with emotions
of confusion upon confusion
sentences
spoil
suddenly
speaking
sounds
empty
your head is heavy
your hands are shaky
to be around others
you’re nothing but another
your truth speaks softly
but your lies tell stories
along with control,
tranquil let go
this is your punishment
their forever entertainment.

upon
a pond
the sun
had shone
with more
time gone
the moon
turned on
and now
the pond
has found
it’s calm
with more
time gone
the pond
now yawns.
There floats
a swan
upon
the pond
she waits
for dawn
she yearns
someone
yet time
has gone
and she’s
not here
no sign
of her
no hope
unclear
as time
went on
the swan
had gone
and now
she’s waiting
for dawn come
and now
she’s mourning
for the swan
and she’s not here
no hope
unclear
cause time
will tell
and time
hates you
the sun
will shine
the moon
will glow
but time
will never
pass so slow.

as leaves fall
and temperatures rise
time seems to stop
but anxiety does not seem to halt
when will this end
my emptiness being emptied out
i am not lonely
i want to be left alone
but i am wary
of the monsters in my head
the imaginary fear i bring unto myself
it awakens when i’m alone
i sink into a dilemma of my own
as temperatures fall
and leaves rise

I am unable.
I am unstable.
I feel waves of emotions;
yet I sit through the motions.
My teary eyes never lied.
Only in silence have I cried,
for the emotions I’m unable to feel;
and though it hurts to ****,
I’ve killed my emotions,
to save myself from humiliation.